My own best lover Part # 4

Then I go through 7 years with a new Wife and I stopped anally r****g myself that whole time, until that marriage ended in divorce and that's when I started living by myself and masturbating a lot in my free time that I don't have my k** with me and I found myself once again in that same adult book store I first visited when I was 18 but now I'm forty and starting at a 6"/ 1 1/2"er.
Within the next year or so of fucking myself raw, I have 6", 10", 12", and a MONSTER BAM dildo that's 13" by 3 or 4" or something crazy like that and am reaching peaks in pleasure I never have in my whole life.

I have never been with a guy and have no sexual attraction for men or actual cock, I love women and am a bit or a freak about it, but also enjoy fucking myself till I cry like a ***********.
How does that not make me gay, but I only want to fuck girls but I enjoy fack huge monster cocks splitting my pelvis apart.
I don't understand it but have come to grips about what I like, enough to post videos of myself for all to see.
In fact rediscovering how good anal masturbation feels has actually helped me find peace in being alone after this last painful divorce from a beautiful woman that I loved very much. She was a sexual prude and a bit of a selfish bitch and I think a large part of the joy I get from doing myself with large dildos is that I give myself completely to myself and don't stop till I am wasted and out of energy, not till I get my fill so to speak and that is something that no woman can ever give me. Except for that cool ex that would bang me with my dildos and blow me.
I guess me is all I need, me and a collection of progressively larger than the last dildos that is.