I think I've been hiding from myself my whole

You know the first time I had any experience with another man I was 17 and it was a black man and Ikind of brought it on. I knew he was gay and I went by there and for some reason I asked if I could take a bath of course they were both gay in the room there they said okayso i kind of eyed in the when when he brought me in a towel bathtub and giving that look so slowly slid over by me put his arm around me and started kissing me and I was so excited I just couldn't believe it and he was so gentle so you leave me down on the lounge chair and kind of massaging my coffee down start sucking his cock and I was so surprised how excited I was and how hard it made me to feel his cock in my mouth. 18 getting hard as I sit the work tosuck him., and I know I wasn't doing very good job but he didn't act like I did but anyway finally eased me down on my stomach and was massaging my back and my buttocks you had some lotion clothes and he put some of his kind of worked his finger up in my rectum and it it actually felt pretty good but I must say when you first put the head of his cock in it hurt but he went real slow and easy slowly and just started feeling so good and I knew then that I've always loved this I don't know why I ever got married and I mean it was okay but it was never as exciting as it was being with a man never the whole time I was married I had lovers I used to see at least twice a week that's where I got my excitement excitement and now seems like since I can't get an erection before me just to admit to myself that I'm gay and I'm feeling okay I really am and being here in hamsters help me and so I'm coming out and I'm going to have some fun I mean I'm not going to be a slight but I'm happy, to be here and to be gay