Oral? No, just put it in my butt...

I have always loved the unexpected when it comes to sex. Nothing like the quickie in the bathroom while the rest of the plane is wondering when the drink cart is finally going to roll by, or the birthday threesome you always fantasized about finally coming to fruition. It is the little twists and turns in the road to orgasm that make the ride so much more interesting than a straight run up a well trekked trail that offers few to no surprises.

Sometimes though, you go so far off the trail that there is no map of a way back and you end up not even caring if you want to go back at all because you become perfectly fine with where you end up. You take another step and there you go! Falling into the rabbit hole you end up in a place where down is up and up is down.

Just like a few mornings back when I tried to put the morning sex sneak on Lani. Waking her up with my hard on staring her in the face like a one-eyed purple people eater, rigid, and ready to pounce. Hungry and enthusiastic and looking to satiate itself on that most important orgasm of the day, breakfast sex, that little monster was practically spitting venom. Hissing and ready spew, it was staring her right between the eyes. "Sssssssssssssx" It said.

"I am not going to suck your dick." Lani said so matter-of-factly that you might as well have published it as the definitive tome on the brilliant subject of no, never, don't even think about it. The little raging b**st of course couldn't understand English so it wasn't grasping the message at all and it continued to jump and twitch and yap like a chihuahua that has cornered a mouse.

"No, I am not going to suck your dick." She said again, but this time she added something. Actually, make that more than something. Make that everything. She added everything that could possibly blow my mind and shut me up and even calm the hungry b**st raging between my legs enough so it would just sit still for a second.

"I won't suck your dick but you can put it in my ass..." She said.

Down is up and up is downtown riding like a Texas Ranger in Bootieville due east of Butte in a place called Mountanass, where the sun never shines but the skies are not cloudy all day. How did I get here? Don't matter, no, don't matter at all. In fact... What an excellent view! Yippy-yi-ti-O! Up your asshole like a cootie cowboy poopshooter a'blasting away with his sex gun and raising up a ruck-ass! Now that is what I call living life to the fullest!

What a great way to start the day... but now my face hurts from smiling and my hands are blistered from all the chores and so many honey-do's I have been doing the last few days.
14年前
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