Part 28 (clean)
The first couple of months in Dublin I spent getting clean (cleanish), the methadone program the doctors had put me on made we just so sick that I pretty much did it cold turkey with a lot of help from Connor of course. I say cleanish as obviously i was not mad enough to give up the weed and I did still treat myself to a line every now and then to cheer me up from what was a rough month or so.
Being clean meant I had a lot of time on my hands but I did not yet feel strong enough to venture out into the world to get a job so I spent my time pretty much cleaning the apartment. Day after day I would just clean every nook and cranny only breaking to go outside for a smoke every couple of hours. The other task I had was to avoid Connors mother as she did not yet know of my existence. She had this strange habit of coming to the apartment at odd times so while I was cleaning I always kept an eye out for her and would then hide in the wardrobe when she arrived, she however knew someone was about as she could smell there was a smoker around as she used to complain to Connor about the smell, Connor for his part used to just shrug his shoulders and deny he knew what she was on about.
My relationship with Connor was a strange one from the off, he had done more for me than I think anyone had ever done by saving me from Limerick, he had been with me all through my withdrawal when at my worst points I had physically and verbally abused him, he had held me and kept me warm the nights when I felt so cold I thought I was going to freeze to death and he comforted me when I just couldn't stop crying. What was odd was that unlike every man I had previously met and pretty much since he didn't want anything from me in return other than for me to be around. Sex seemed to be the last thing on his mind and the odd times we did it I was the driving force behind it. Sex was also the last thing I wanted to be doing but I initially felt it was something I needed to do for men but when I realised that Conn didn't want it I happily kept my panties on.
I loved being with Conn as he was like being with Noreen in that we could just spend hours chatting about everything and nothing and although we never had sex I did regularly masturbate him, but even that was in a kinda non sexual way as we could be lying in bed talking about something stupid like Coronation Street and I would be wanking him off where the conversation would only break momentarily as he came then while I cleaned him up we would be back talking about shit.
I did have my suspicions as I had found the various hidden dildos and vibrators and I had seen his history on the computer a couple of times he had forgotten to wipe it and I knew that perhaps I was missing something for him.
That didn't really concern me but what was really concerning me was Conn's insistence that I would have to meet his mother.
Being clean meant I had a lot of time on my hands but I did not yet feel strong enough to venture out into the world to get a job so I spent my time pretty much cleaning the apartment. Day after day I would just clean every nook and cranny only breaking to go outside for a smoke every couple of hours. The other task I had was to avoid Connors mother as she did not yet know of my existence. She had this strange habit of coming to the apartment at odd times so while I was cleaning I always kept an eye out for her and would then hide in the wardrobe when she arrived, she however knew someone was about as she could smell there was a smoker around as she used to complain to Connor about the smell, Connor for his part used to just shrug his shoulders and deny he knew what she was on about.
My relationship with Connor was a strange one from the off, he had done more for me than I think anyone had ever done by saving me from Limerick, he had been with me all through my withdrawal when at my worst points I had physically and verbally abused him, he had held me and kept me warm the nights when I felt so cold I thought I was going to freeze to death and he comforted me when I just couldn't stop crying. What was odd was that unlike every man I had previously met and pretty much since he didn't want anything from me in return other than for me to be around. Sex seemed to be the last thing on his mind and the odd times we did it I was the driving force behind it. Sex was also the last thing I wanted to be doing but I initially felt it was something I needed to do for men but when I realised that Conn didn't want it I happily kept my panties on.
I loved being with Conn as he was like being with Noreen in that we could just spend hours chatting about everything and nothing and although we never had sex I did regularly masturbate him, but even that was in a kinda non sexual way as we could be lying in bed talking about something stupid like Coronation Street and I would be wanking him off where the conversation would only break momentarily as he came then while I cleaned him up we would be back talking about shit.
I did have my suspicions as I had found the various hidden dildos and vibrators and I had seen his history on the computer a couple of times he had forgotten to wipe it and I knew that perhaps I was missing something for him.
That didn't really concern me but what was really concerning me was Conn's insistence that I would have to meet his mother.
7年前
