CCG 2014 #3

July 2014

Got the job!!

Hey everybody,

Just wanted to post a quick note to tell everybody that I just received a job offer from that company I interviewed with last week, and that I’m going to take it! I’m pretty excited. First ever Big-Girl job. I am going to be making more money than I could ever have expected this soon out of school, and I’m really grateful for that. I have to give my current job 2 weeks notice first, so I am going to start the 21st. I’m pretty excited.

I’m going out tonight to celebrate with a bunch of friends and my bf. I’ll probably even buy dinner.

Thanks for the support. For those of you that wished me well.

I’ll update again soon.


Anonymous asked:
Did Brandon use a condom?

Yes, he did. So does my bf. I’ve always done that, with everyone I’ve ever been with. I just feel like it is the safest way to go. However, I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought about not using one sometime.


The last piece of the puzzle…

After a heated exchange yesterday afternoon with one of my followers over Asks, I decided that I would move forward with pushing my boyfriend a little. Last night, my boyfriend and I were sitting down to eat dinner, and, like things usually do now with us, the conversation eventually turned to thought on how we can get this relationship with Brandon moving forward more. We talked a little bit about ideas, but eventually we both decided that the easiest way for this to get moving is to make Brandon think that I am willing to “cheat” again.

This plan was actually kinda hard for my bf to agree to. In order for Brandon to think I am cheating again, my bf has to not know that I’m sneaking around - at least outwardly. At first he was hesitant. I think he really liked the idea of sharing his girlfriend, but he wasn’t too keen on playing the trusting, oblivious boyfriend. I asked him when on earth he would ever have to play that role, and the only thing he could come up with was “whenever I see him”. Yes, I agreed, but really, how often will that be? He said he didn’t really know, so I took the opportunity to answer for him. I told him that the only time he would ever have to be “oblivious” was when he and Brandon were together, and reminded him that that has really only happened three times since that ski trip last winter… Once at my apartment, once at my graduation party, and then that night bowling. Besides - it would make it way hotter for the two of us if Brandon had no idea that my bf knew, and thought I was sneaking around again.

I told him that doing it this way would likely lead to a few new things in our sex life… First, it would lead to me actually partaking in this fantasy of his and fucking another guy. It would lead to him getting to hear all about it with all the details when I got home to him. And of course it would give him the opportunity to “reclaim” me afterwards.

Net result: Brandon gets to have me again while thinking that he is a big stud for tempting me into cheating again, my boyfriend gets his girlfriend sharing fantasy fulfilled, and likely gets some hot sex when we are together, and I get dirty, rough sex from one guy, and tender and loving sex from another…

Will somebody, anybody, please tell me where the downside is in this scenario?

He agreed. And I told him that I wanted to make sure that he was sure about all of this. He said he was, and it told him I wanted him to prove it. He asked me how he could prove it, and I told him to text Brandon. He looked at me funny, like “won’t that ruin the whole setup?” And after I made him think about it for a few seconds, I handed him my phone. “Text him with my phone”. I told him that all he had to do to prove that this is what he wants is to ask another guy to come fuck his girlfriend. I told him how to start, and what to say, but made him type everything. Here is the conversation:

Me: hey, we should probably stop avoiding this and talk

Brandon: avoiding what?

Me: we have to talk about what happened in the parking lot

Brandon: alright what do you want to talk about?

Me: why did you kiss me?

Brandon: I wanted to

Me: I thought we were going to be cool. Friends, remember?

Brandon: I figured that is why you asked for my help

Me: what is?

Brandon: because you wanted to see me again

Me: I needed help with snowboard stuff

Brandon: you are a bad liar Courtney. You could have got that same help from any of those sales guys, or even reviews online and ended up with the same stuff

(I didn’t really know how to answer that - he did have a point… So it took me a little while to answer. Looking back on this now, the delay in answering this probably only served to confirm his suspicions)

Me: I trusted you more than them. (Stupid thing to say, but I needed to say something)

Brandon: and you wanted to see me again. Admit it

(This was sorta the tipping point right here… If I admitted it, it is basically saying that I want him again, if I deny it, we just kick the can down the road. At the bowling alley I kicked the can down the road… At the sporting goods store, I kicked the can down the road. I told my boyfriend to answer him. He asked me what I wanted him to write. I told him to answer him with whatever he wanted me to say… I made him choose… Admit to Brandon that some part of me wanted him again, or deny it, and kick the can down the road more. I gave him that out if he didn’t want me to go through with this…)

He answered for me: maybe a little

Brandon: just see me? Or more?

Me: I don’t know.

Brandon: see, I knew it. Feels better to admit it doesn’t it?

(What a cocky asshole)

Me: stop it

Brandon: what about [bf]?

Me: he can’t know anything. (This was so hot because I made him type it!)

Brandon: so what are you saying here Court?

Me: I don’t know

Brandon: well what can’t [bf] know then?

Me: anything. You and me.

Brandon: what about us?

Me: FWB?

Brandon: deal. I knew you’d come around.

I can’t tell you the sheer about of emotions that went through me at that moment. I was super excited. I was ridiculously turned on. I felt this perverse sense of pride that I could make two guys do exactly what I wanted them to do. I got up from my chair and walked around behind my bf, and stuck my hand down his pants while he held my phone. He was already pretty hard so I loosened his belt and unbuttoned his shorts with my other hand. I slowly started to give him a hand job, right there at the kitchen table.

Brandon: you want me to come over?

Me: I’m not home. I’m working (I lied)

Brandon: when then?

Me: not sure. Can I call you when I have time?

Brandon: alright. See you soon then.

Me: ok, thanks.


That was it. That was our conversation. He knows. He’s in.

We didn’t finish dinner. We practically ran upstairs. My bf had my clothes off in probably 30 seconds, and we went at it like bunny rabbits for probably two hours. I teased him a lot. I told him I was proud of him for letting his asshole friend fuck me. I told him I was going to be very bad with him and let him do all kinds of dirty things to me. I promised him I would come see him right after I was done so I could tell him all about everything that happened. He loved it. I told him that his sweet little high school sweetheart was about to show him how naughty she could be…

That is it. That is the last piece of the puzzle for getting Brandon right where we want him. He knows now. All I have to do is call, and he will come running. I’m so excited I’m wet again as I’m typing this all out for you. I can’t do anything tonight, because I actually have to attend to some financial stuff, but my boyfriend works tomorrow night. I think I might spend the afternoon making myself look nice so that I can give him some horns. What do you guys think?


It happened!

I did it.

It happened.

On Monday afternoon, I decided to treat myself. After last weeks happenings with both my bf and Brandon, I was feeling like I was pretty much on top of the world. Couple that with the fact that I am about to start an awesome new job, and it was pretty much feeling like I could do no wrong all this week.

My boyfriend was working Monday afternoon/evening, so I decided I would use that opportunity to pamper myself. I told him that I was going to go out to a spa day, and he was totally cool with it. I started the afternoon with a massage and facial. I told myself that it was to relax and reward myself for landing this new job, but to be honest, I needed a little bit of calming down too, because my stomach was pretty much in ****s about this whole cheating/being shared/cuckold thing we have worked out.

The massage was awesome actually. It lasted an hour and a half, and at the end of it, I felt like jello. I don’t know if any of you guys go get massages often, but if you do, you will know what I’m saying when I tell you that all I wanted to do afterward was go home and take a nice long nap. So… I did. I took a long nap, and when I got up I felt fantastic.

I took a shower and shaved my legs, armpits, and tidied up my downstairs too… Just in case anything were to happen later… I put on some shorts and a t-shirt, just to be comfortable, and I went to a salon and got a haircut and style. I had a debate with myself while I was waiting for the haircut. My hair is normally a bit past my shoulders, but I thought it might be cute, and look more professional to do a little bob just below my ears. I went back and forth on the idea. A haircut is personal to a girl. If our hair doesn’t look good, then we don’t feel good about ourselves. At the end, I figured that I would stick with my usual style, and just add a few highlights and layers. That’s probably for the best too, because if I wouldn’t have liked the new style, I would have been mortified to show up to my new job with it. So, all’s well that ends well I suppose, and I settled for the usual.

When I was done, I went to the liquor store and got a bottle of red wine and then to the grocery store for some stuff for dinner. I decided that I want to make this whole experience as enjoyable for my boyfriend as it is likely to be for me, so I made dinner for him and had it ready when he got off work. I made him one of his favorite meals, and had it nearly complete in his kitchen when he got off work. I have a key to his house, (he has one to my place too) so I just let myself in and started cooking. He was really surprised, which was nice, and we really did have a nice dinner together. He had to work Tuesday night too, and I was off again, so I decided after dinner that I would ask him how he felt about making use of that opportunity.

I asked him if he thought I should talk to Brandon about seeing him Tuesday night, for real. He hesitated. I was actually a little bit sad for him. This whole time we have been talking about this, he really hasn’t ever been hesitant at all about it. I asked him what was wrong, and he took a deep breath and just said “nothing, really. I think you should call him”. I asked him if he was sure… I always do, and he assured me that yes, he was sure, and he did want me to call Brandon, but that he was just nervous. I assured him that he didn’t need to be nervous, and I promised him that I would still be his girlfriend at the end of it, and that I would tell him all about it. He came around after a while… I’m not sure if it was from my reassurances, his hormones, or a combination of both, but eventually he was grinning and asking me what I would do… I told him that I didn’t know what I was going to do yet, and that he would have to wait and hear about it.

I told him not to make a peep, and I called Brandon.

Brandon answered and I got that flushed, hot feeling almost immediately. If I had been thinking more about this, I might have thought more about what I wanted to say, but I didn’t plan that well. I started with some kind of stupid small talk… Hi, what up? What’s going on with you? Blah blah blah… My boyfriend was just staring at me, with his eyes wide open in amazement. I made the universal “shhh” sign with a finger over my lips, and put my phone down on the counter between my boyfriend and I, and turned on the speaker phone.

Brandon asked me what I was doing, and I told him that I had just finished dinner, and I was thinking about that text conversation we had the week before. He did his predictable machismo act, and said “oh, and I suppose you want me to come over tonight?” I said no, but that [bf] was working the next night, and if he wanted, he could come over then for a while. He said he would like to see me, but he wanted me to come over to his place. I didn’t really know what to say. I had never been to his place before. I looked up at my bf, and he shrugged. “Yeah, sure, I guess thats cool. Can you text me your address or something?” He said that he would, and asked me what time I wanted to come over. I told him around 4:30ish, and that maybe we could get some food or something and hang out. He agreed, and I looked up at my boyfriend again, who was just staring at me again, while biting the first finger of his fist so he wouldn’t make any noise. It was an absolutely serene feeling. I was staring at by boyfriend, three feet away from me, right across the counter, and at the same time, talking to another guy about what was very obviously a booty call. It was super hot. I can totally see how people who do this kind of thing regularly can get hooked on the rush of emotions and adrenaline.

I didn’t let my boyfriend touch me that night. Even though he wanted to. I told him no, and that he would have to wait his turn. Telling my boyfriend that he can’t have me because someone else is in line before him was a whole new kind of thrill for both of us. I stayed the whole night with him, and let him work himself all into a frenzy, but I didn’t crack. That is a lot harder to do when we are in bed and he is doing some heavy breathing on my ear and neck from behind me, let me say… But no, I wouldn’t let him do much more than hold me.

I didn’t want to overdress. I didn’t want this to be like a “date”, and I didn’t want to look like I was some kind of slut. I just wanted to look like a 22 year old girl who is sneaking around behind her boyfriend’s back. I wore a pair of cute jeans, a black bra and underwear, and a purple tank top. It was an outfit that my bf and I agreed on the night before, after we had finished that phone call. I gave him the proverbial “last chance” to tell me to stop before he left for work at 2:00. I told him that he had until 4:00 to tell me to stop, by text or phone call, and if he didn’t, then I was going through with it. I was nervous and excited while I was getting ready, but my boyfriend wasn’t there to tell me to stop, so I enjoyed it, and had a couple glasses of wine to calm the nerves. At 4:00, I looked at my phone. No texts, no missed calls. I texted my boyfriend at work “ok, times up, no more chances. My phone is off”. I didn’t actually turn it off, but I did put it on silent. Truth be told, if he would have called or texted at 4:13 or something trying to get ahold of me to tell me not to go through with it, I would have stopped. But he didn’t know that. He never called or texted. I guess this really is what he wants. I could only imagine what he was thinking about while trying to work.

Brandon lives in a house with two roommates. I don’t know either of them. It’s not a bad house, but it’s not the most clean one I’ve ever been in either. I guess that’s what you can expect when three 20-something year old guys live together. One of his roommates was out when I showed up, and the other one was downstairs on the computer or x-box or something playing some kind of loud game. Brandon opened the door when I got there and knocked.

It was weird seeing him again. I mean, it probably shouldn’t have been, considering our history, but for some reason I felt a bit shy. I didn’t really know how this was going to work. We sat down at the kitchen table, and I decided to start by laying down the law again. I told him that [bf] can’t know I was ever here, and that I wanted him to know that I didn’t want to date him or anything - just be friends with bennies. He said that was fine, he didn’t want to date me either… Which is good I guess, but still kinda came off a little on the harsh side. So I asked him… “So, how do we want to do this friends with benefits thing?” And then he said something that simultaneously made me both angry and turned on… “You called me, remember? So I’m pretty sure that it starts by you sucking my cock.”

Oh my god, what an ass. He is so damn arrogant! I had to bite my tongue. I looked at him, and thought of how my boyfriend must be feeling at work right now. For a second I wondered if I should check my phone again for any missed calls. But then I remembered that he hadn’t stopped me before when he had multiple chances, and when I told him that I was going to do this because I wanted to also, he got even more turned on. I took a breath, chalked it up to Brandon thinking he was a real player… And faked a little smirk.

I told Brandon to show me his room. He said no. He told me to do it right there in the kitchen. Now, that actually did piss me off. I snapped back at him, asking if he was k**ding. I told him that there was no way in hell that I was going to give him head in the middle of his kitchen when his roommate might come up from the basement at any second and see us. I told him that if he wanted it, it was in his room, and he needed to quit being an asshole or I was leaving. That was enough to convince him. He got up and walked down the hall. I followed him into his room, and locked the door behind me. He just laid back, with a big old grin on his face. He must have thought he was such a stud. Here I was, in his room after my bf already caught me cheating on him with this guy once, and yet I had come back for more… He didn’t know the half of it.

I went over to the bed, sat down next to him, and got to work. I’m not going to go into every little detail for you guys. Sorry for those of you that have asked me for that. I’m still not ready to get that graphic on my blog. Maybe someday I will, but not today. It will just have to suffice that I tell you there was sex. It was multiple times, and it was the same as on the ski trip - rough, forceful, hard, and nothing sweet or romantic about it. It was plainly obvious to both of us that this wasn’t anything other than just sex. Just fucking. It lasted the better part of the evening. We never did go get any food or anything. It was strange too, because I was with Brandon, and the whole time I kept thinking of things that I had to try to remember to tell my boyfriend. I found myself thinking about him, at work at that very moment, and how absolutely insane he must be going… But then I would get pulled back into the moment with Brandon because of something he did, or said, or did to me, and it would be all about him and me, and enjoying those feelings of naughtiness and dirtiness that I had when we were originally together last winter.

I don’t really remember hearing the roommate downstairs leave, but when we were done a few hours later (and thoroughly exhausted I might add) he roommate was nowhere to be found. I told Brandon that I had to go, because my bf would be off work soon, and made him swear never to do or say anything that would lead to my bf finding out about “us”. He did, but asked me when the next time we could meet up would be. I told him that I wasn’t sure, but that I would talk to him soon, and I left to go back home.

I looked at my phone on the way home. I almost dreaded doing so, because I would have hated myself if there was a message telling me not to go through with it that I hadn’t seen before. There was a text from my bf. Nothing bad though. Just “are you ok?” I answered that I was, and that he should come over after he got off work.

When I got home, I felt really strange. I thought that doing this would be liberating, empowering, and sexy. Don’t get me wrong, there were aspects of each of those, but there were also things that I hadn’t anticipated. There were feelings of selfishness, shame, deceit, and being cheap. I actually didn’t feel really good about myself, which is probably the reason why it has taken me a couple days to come around to writing this for all of you.

My bf is a really good guy. When he got off work, he texted me, and told me he was on his way. I told him that I was at home, and that I hadn’t eaten anything all night. On his way home, he stopped and bought me food, and when he showed up at my house he also had flowers. Seriously. Who does that? I almost assumed he would come barging in my door and rip my clothes off, but he didn’t. He gave me a hug, and I put the flowers in a vase. He never said a word about anything with Brandon. I ate, and he just rubbed my back and shoulders. I don’t want to sound super corny, but it was exactly what I needed. Just to feel loved. Feel what I did was ok, and that he didn’t hate me for it. He was serious about what he had said. That went a long way.

He stayed the night. We didn’t have sex or anything. We didn’t even talk about it that night. He just held me and we slept.

I felt so much better about myself because of him the next morning, that it did tell him everything. I went into every detail I could remember for him. I owed him that. And, true to his word, he was completely ok with everything I said and did. I really did give him horns, and he really did like the way they fit. We did have sex that night. And the one after that. I really do think that this has brought us closer.

My new job starts tomorrow. I’m excited, but I have to tell you all that I don’t exactly know when my next update will be. Honestly, I have no idea where we go from here. I don’t know when or if I want to see Brandon again yet. I’m still very open to exploring this more with my bf, I just know that our relationship and my career have to come first. Once I get settled into a routine a bit, I will have a much better idea on how often I can update my blog. Just so nobody is confused, I’m not leaving or anything, so don’t panic… I’m just taking a breath for a minute. I’ll still be around for asks or comments too… I love hearing from you guys about what should happen next.

Wish me luck with the new job!

Until next time,

Courtney


Anonymous asked:
I experienced a range of feelings when I read your last post -- excitement, sadness, tenderness, even a little anger directed at Brandon. I can't remember the last time a stranger's blog post sent me on such an emotional journey.

Hey, thank you. I suppose it is an accomplishment if I can make people feel the same kinds of things I was feeling while I was doing this stuff. Next time, don’t be anonymous, and I’ll respond directly to you. :)


Anonymous asked:
Brandon sounds like a piece of shit.

Yeah, he kind of is.

It’s sorta tricky with him, because in public, he is a totally normal guy. He was fine at the bowling alley, and he was fine around my family at my graduation party too.

He just turns into an arrogant misogynist in private.

Honestly, there is something about that that is appealing to me. No guy has ever treated me like he does. I both hate it, and get some sort of thrill from it.


New job update

Hey all,

I realize I haven’t updated in a while, so I thought I’d just give you a quick update on what’s happened in my life for the last week or so.

I started my new job on Monday. I spend the majority of the day doing new job paperwork, and orientation and meeting people and whatnot, so Monday and Tuesday were pretty boring. I had an official “welcome to the team” meeting on Wednesday too, and I really only got 2-2.5 days of actually doing any work this week.

Without telling you all who I am working for, or exactly what I am doing, I’ll just tell you that I am going to be on a team of 5 people, and one of 3 different teams. So essentially I am one of 15 or so people that are all working on various parts of a large project. It is pretty exciting actually, and I am pretty sure I will be able to help out significantly. Funny how some of those college classes actually pay off, huh?

I have my own little cubicle and everything. It even has a little name plate with my name on it. That was actually pretty crazy when I saw that. For whatever reason, I wasn’t expecting that. It’s pretty sweet. It’s not the corner office or anything (yet) but it is pretty cool for my first job.

There are a lot of really smart people I’m working with. Both men and women, and ranging in age from mid 20s to mid 40s. I am the youngest, but not by too much. Some of them are even PhDs. Super smart. My actual job opened up because somebody before moved away, but as it turns out, a few of the people on my team have told me that they didn’t like her anyway, so they were happy to have me there.

The world does feel a bit larger all of the sudden too. I feel like college was last years news, small potatoes now. And I also realize that there is still a ton for me to learn now. I guess that’s what happens to everybody though.

I’m liking it so far, although I have decided I need to personalize my space a little, so if anybody wants to send me a houseplant or salt lamp or something, I’d be down to add it to the cubicle. Ha!

Everybody even went out to happy hour on Friday after work. It was totally cool that they even invited “the new girl”. Even though I had to put up with more than a few “are you even old enough to drink?” remarks. All in good fun though.

As far as Brandon is concerned, he did text me on Thursday night. He just said “what’s up?” I don’t know if he wanted to get together or what, but I didn’t answer. I told my boyfriend that he texted, and he was totally fine with me hooking up with him again, but I just wasn’t feeling it that night. I also think it will do him a bit of good too. Maybe it will humble him a little that I didn’t answer. I decide when he gets me, not him, right?

As far as my bf is concerned, he has been nothing but supportive. I was sorta down on myself after I “cheated” but he had said all the right things. He enjoys the fact that I did this, he loves that I told him about it, and he wants me to do it again. I feel like I really tested him, and he passed.

I’m currently thinking about he next step here, and how I test him again moving forward. I’ll probably try to talk to Brandon sometime this week, but I don’t know why my angle will be quite yet.

I’m becoming less and less concerned about hurting my bf’s feelings though. Everything I’ve done so far seems to make him excited and anxious for more. We’ll see what happens next.

I’ll update again as soon as I can. Until then, feel free to send massages. :)


August 2014

alphawifebetahusband asked:
You wrote a while ago your boyfriend didn’t like the word cuckold because it made him feel weak. However, how much control do you really think he wants to preserve to himself? So far he has yielded to you a great deal of control over what happens, don’t you agree? It seems to me he enjoys being at the mercy of your desires, although this might cause him some angst and fear. If I’m right, it means you have a great deal of power over him. How does this make you feel, Courtney?

Thanks for the message. Yes, I agree that he has given over a lot of control to me. He has even told me that he likes that idea a lot. So, as far as how much he wants to preserve for himself, I guess I don’t really know. I’m not sure where the line is just yet. He does seem to enjoy the idea of being completely at my whim, but yet he says that he doesn’t like he word cuckold. I don’t exactly know what that means. As far as myself, and how that makes me feel… Well, it’s different. Before this whole thing started, I guess I really sort of saw each of us as equal parts of this relationship, and now it’s different. Not like I don’t see him as a person or anything… I just feel that his constant willingness to let things go further and further has piqued my curiosity as to how far I can actually push this. I sorta like the idea of pushing him, and finding out why he likes this idea, and what it all means for our relationship. I am definitely willing to explore this further.


Anonymous asked:
I'm a girl who loves her bf but...well, I kinda want to play around without having to feel guilty about it. Anyway, I'm wondering if you think you'd be in the situation you're in if you hadn't cheated in the first place? Would your bf have agreed to you sleeping with other guys if he hadn't already experienced you cheating on him to show him how he feels about it?

You know, I don’t really know the answer to that question. I have no idea if the idea of him sharing me came as a result of me cheating, or if it was there before he found out that I had. We haven’t ever really talked that in depth about that. If I had to guess, I would probably say that it was here prior to me cheating, and that him finding out just sorta sparked something for him to act on it, but I’m not sure.


Anonymous asked:
Your description of Brandon reminds me of my ex. I'm married now to a very sweet and loving man but sometimes I get a real craving for the way my ex used to be so arrogant and entitled in bed. Sometimes I think a bit of rough, nasty sex is just what a girl needs...But you need to know he respects you too. Ultimately why I left my ex, and maybe part of what makes you angry about Brandon? Part of it obviously turns you on, but at the same time you aren't sure he respects you underneath it all?

Hey, I agree. I think Brandon is a completely normal guy most of the time, but alone he becomes this total jerk. However, there is some sort of draw to that for me for some reason, and I know I’m not alone here. As far as the respect thing goes, you may be right about that too. There might be some sort of resentment toward Brandon, and if he isn’t somewhat more personable in the future, it may end up costing him with me.


Busy, but making progress

Work is really starting to get moving now. I’ve only been there a short time, but is already feel like I’m doing some really good work, even though sometimes I feel like I’m drowning and putting in long hours just to keep up. I’m sure that after I get settled in and really get into a groove, I will be able to manage without having to work 10 hour days. But… I’m not complaining. It’s busy, but good busy.

As far as other things go…

So, in addition to being pretty busy, I am meeting a lot of new people. One of which is a guy that is crazy hot. Like, seriously shouldn’t even be legal hot. He is older than me, and on one of the other teams of people on the same project as I am. His name is Dan, and he is super smart and I get to work with him a lot, and I would be totally, 100% ok with getting him into bed. Only one small catch… He is married and has a k**. Damn! I don’t think I want to try to get involved there yet. Which is unfortunate… Mostly just for me. I told my bf about him too, and he was all for it, but I don’t really want to risk being a homewrecker, so I think that he might just be eye candy for me for the foreseeable future. Sigh.

Anywho… My bf was hinting ever since the last time that Brandon and I hooked up that he wanted me to do it again, but I hadn’t really been able to do anything for a while. Mostly because I wasn’t sure I liked the way I felt about myself after the last meeting, but also because after working 50+ hours a week I was just too burnt out to try to arrange anything. But his constant hints for a week or so gave me enough time to come to terms with those feelings, and last Wednesday evening, he actually convinced me to text Brandon again.

So, the plan was for me to text Brandon and invite him over again on Thursday night, just like last time, but as it turns out, I never got the opportunity to do that. While I was working that day, I actually looked at my phone over lunch, and Brandon had texted me… Fortuitous, huh? He just said “hey, you should come over tonight”. I called my bf right away to tell him that Brandon had actually invited me over, and he was ok with me going, so long as I came back to his place when I was done.

So, I texted Brandon back and lied. I told him that I couldn’t, because I was working, and then going to my bf’s house when I got off for dinner. Well, for whatever reason, that made him try even harder. It was perfect. Boys are so easy to manipulate sometimes… He answered back and told me I should make up an excuse and come by his house before I went to my boyfriend’s place when I got off.

Wait, he gets to think he’s making me stray again, my bf knows and is cool with it, and I get two boys in one night? Well gosh, what a terrible deal.

So, I called my bf and told him that I was headed to Brandon’s place when I got off, and I promised to come over to his place when I was done. He was totally excited I was willing to do this again after the first time. As soon as I got off the phone with him, I called Brandon, and told him I would stop by, but that I had to hurry, because I had told my bf that I had to work late again and that we would have to push dinner back a little. That was all a total lie, of course, because we actually hadn’t made any plans at all, and my bf knew everything that was happening.

When I got to Brandon’s house there was nobody else there. No roommates, just me and him. I felt hot. I really did. It was different than the first time I “cheated” because this time I felt like I was more in control. That is weird to say, but that was how I felt. He let me in, and almost immediately started his machismo thing again. He said “I knew you would come over again” and I answered back “you texted me first, remember?” It was playful flirting… And then he tried the same trick as he did the first time, and said “so, you want to give me head at the kitchen table this time?” And I got this crazy power rush, and something came over me, and I completely threw the whole misogynist thing right back in his face and said “oh no, you texted me first this time. That means you start. Here. And hurry up because I don’t have much time”, and I just sat down, right there on his living room couch and just stared at him.

I have never felt the way I did that night, at that exact moment. It was amazing, I felt both this huge sexy - almost dirty - feeling, and at the same time this immense power thrill. I don’t know what gave me to confidence to snap back at him like that, but I absolutely loved it!

He didn’t need to be told twice. He had my business skirt hiked up around my hips about 30 seconds later, and I had Brandon on his knees, with HIS head between MY legs to start this whole encounter this time.

I’ve never had public sex before. I never thought it was a smart idea. But that evening, Brandon and I had sex right there on his living room couch. I had no idea where his roommates were. They might have been across the country, they could have walked right in the front door and seen us. Believe me, the thought crossed my mind more than a few times. I didn’t even try to stop it, or suggest that we move to his bedroom. The unknown - the risk - made it hotter for me. I actually wondered what one of his roommates might think if they had walked in on us. Maybe I was “Brandon’s new girlfriend”. Maybe I was “some cheap slut Brandon brought home”. I didn’t really care. Whatever anybody wanted to think of me was fine with me. It was liberating. Now, nobody ever did walk in, but by the time our hurried, quick and dirty hooking up was done 30 min or so later, I found out that something I never really considered before could be a turn on for me.

My hair was a mess, and Brandon was all smiles, and I quickly got dressed again and told him that my bf was probably waiting on me for dinner, and I had to go. What a bad girlfriend I was… I left his house, and drove straight to my bf’s house, and as soon as I got inside, my bf was all over me. He damn near attacked me. He didn’t have dinner waiting or anything, just let me in, and took me right to his room, and we went at it again. Sex, twice, with two different guys in less than an hour apart. He was so hungry. The first time I “cheated” he gave me food and flowers. Not this time. He said he felt like he was reclaiming me. He wanted me to tell him every little detail about what happened, so I did.

I told him that while we were fucking on the couch I had wondered about his roommates walking in on us. I told him I thought that idea was hot. I told him I didn’t care what they would have thought about me… the cheap little whore that Brandon brought home. That drove him crazy. He loved that. His little high school sweetheart being so dirty. I pushed him further. I told him that I wanted to sleep around on him more, with lots of different guys. That finished him off. I was so sore by the end of the night, but it was so worth it.

When we finished, I just laid there with him. Pillow talk. I asked him if he liked what I did, and he said that he did, very much. I decided that I would play another card that I had been thinking of while he was laying there with his arms around me. The idea for this actually came from an interaction a few weeks ago with one of my followers, and I thought that was as good a time as any to bring it up…

I asked him if he had bought me a birthday present yet. (My birthday is August 18th by the way- I’ll be 23, just in case you guys care.) He said no, that he hadn’t yet, and asked me what I wanted. I told him that I wanted him to buy me three things: first, a new book that I’ve been wanting to read, second, a nice birthday dinner out with him, and lastly, I wanted him to buy me the sexiest lingerie he could possibly think of… So I could model it… for Brandon only.

Needless to say, I was a little late to work the next morning.


Fantasy Week

Last week, I got a great idea from a follower. They basically said that while it may be difficult for my boyfriend to confide all his thoughts and fantasies about sharing me when we talk face to face, he might be more willing to divulge that information if I talked with / flirted about it with him over text. He idea is twofold, first that it is “safer” for him in that he doesn’t have to see me face to face in case one of his fantasies might be “weird” and he could always say later that it was just in the heat of the moment or something. Secondly- once I learn of his fantasies, I will better understand how he wants to share me, and where his boundaries are. Once I know that, I can use that information to my advantage. Either by teasing him using those fantasies, exploring them with him, or perhaps introducing crazier stuff, just to see his reaction.

So, I told my boyfriend that this week, while I was at work, I wanted him to text me one fantasy per day, and that we would talk about it each night when I got home. He was nervous at first. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to do that, but a little bit of sitting on his lap and some soft petting seemed to do the trick to convince him that it would all be in good fun.

I was anxious to see what he said. All morning on Monday I kept looking at my phone for his texts. I didn’t tell him a timeframe, although I probably should have, so I had no idea when he would write me. I didn’t have any message until about two in the afternoon. When I finally got it, I was really eager to see what he had come up with.

In the interest of time, I will just list his fantasies by day, and then talk about each.

Monday: “I want to see you dress up really sexy and flirtatious when we go out with friends”
I asked him more about this when I got off of work that evening. From his text, I couldn’t tell if he meant that he wanted me to do this once, or all the time. He said that the more I do it the better. I asked what he had in mind - I told him that if I wore a halter top and fuck me heels out to dinner with friends, that would not only be inappropriate for the occasion, but would probably lead to both of us getting some pretty strange looks. I told him that I was totally willing to look “hot” though, but I told him it would be at my discretion as to what degree. Maybe this means tighter dresses, shorter skirts and heels on occasion. If it means a bigger wardrobe for me, and it is a fantasy of his to see me look hotter and more available, I’m all for it. Easy one.

Tuesday: “I want to hear you having sex with someone else”
This one sort of surprised me a little. I would have thought he would have said that he wanted to see me first, but he said hear. What does that mean? It took me a while to figure out how I wanted to approach that one. A while ago, one of my followers had actually suggested that I use a phone to call him while I was with Brandon. That would accomplish the “hearing me” fantasy for him, but it could be a little awkward to try to subtly call my bf without Brandon knowing what I was doing. I’m still thinking about how I can help him get this fantasy played out. Feel free to help with ideas guys… How can I let my bf hear me without it being awkward for the guy I’m with?

Wednesday: “I want you to sleep with somebody that is married”
I’m pretty sure this stems from a conversation that he and I had a while back about this one guy I work with. He is gorgeous, and I would totally love to get him in bed, but, as I mentioned before, he is married and has a k**. I’m not sure I want to risk both the work situation and the homewrecker potential for this. So, will this fantasy happen… Maybe, I don’t know. But probably not with the guy that originally inspired it. If I happened to find myself in a situation that allowed for this in the future, then at least I know that my boyfriend is open to the idea. However, what I thought about this fantasy of his was that it was more revealing of what he is willing to let me to do and become. He loves the idea that his sweet little innocent girlfriend could be “the other woman” that tempted a married guy to stray. That is pretty devilish of him.

Thursday: “I’d love it if you would have a one night stand”
We have sort of had this conversation before. Basically, when I asked him about this, he told me he wanted me to have a one night stand with somebody I had absolutely no interest in outside of that one night. He said that he wanted me to hook up with somebody that was completely not my type at all… A slacker stoner guy, some athletic hardbody with no real smarts at all; he even mentioned that he thought it would be very hot if I hooked up with a thug, tattooed, prison-like guy for one night. That one actually kind of shocked me. Usually, he is pretty reserved in his preferences for guys he is willing to share me with. That idea is not reserved or cautious at all. It’s scary, and dangerous, and uncontrollable. And those are all my thoughts, not his. I’m not sure how I feel about the criminal idea, but the thought of a one night stand might be worth exploring further, even if it is just used to tease out more fantasies of guys he wants me to try out.

Friday: “It would be hot if you spent all day on your birthday with Brandon”
Boom. There it is. I knew there was something he was saving for Friday. I was actually pretty pleased with this little fantasy of his. It played right into the little suggestion I made for my birthday present earlier, so I knew that he had been thinking about what I had said. I took the whole day off for my birthday next week in advance, and I was planning on spending it with my bf, but he totally changed those plans with that text Friday afternoon. I couldn’t wait until I got off work to text him back after he sent me that, so I answered right away. “Does that mean you got me the present I asked for?” He didn’t answer, but when I got home, he gave it to me.

So cute. I thought it was perfect. He said he thought it was the hottest thing he could imagine me wearing. He got me a black lace cami with purple accent bows and drawstring in the back, black stockings and a matching black and purple thong. It’s actually very sexy. He probably spent close to $100 on me. He said that he bought it online, so he wasn’t sure if it would fit right or not, so I told him I would find out. I took the bag into the bedroom, stripped down, and put everything on. He did pretty well. It didn’t fit perfect, it was actually slightly too small, but I’m ok with him thinking I’m a little bit smaller size than I am. It wasn’t too small that I couldn’t get into it. Once I did, I couldn’t resist taking a picture of myself. I’m not sure why I did. Maybe to remind myself of my own situation, maybe to show my bf in the future… I’m not sure. I just felt sexy as hell, and I felt like it, so I did it. I took off the lingerie, and got dressed again before leaving the bedroom, and my boyfriend was pacing around the living room waiting for me to come out. He asked how it fit, and I just answered “wouldn’t you like to know”. Hot.

I told him to sit down while I texted Brandon, because I was about to make that fantasy of his come true. he did, and asked me what I was writing, so I told him the whole conversation as we texted back and forth.

Me: “hey, just wondering, what are you doing Monday?”

Brandon: “why, you want to come over after work again?”

Me: “I was thinking something different this time”

Brandon: “like what?”

Me: “it’s my birthday”

Brandon: “and you aren’t going out with [bf]?”

Me: “maybe later in the evening, but he’s working during he day, and I have the whole day off. Can you come over early?”

Brandon: “I’m supposed to work too”

Me: “is that a no then?”

Brandon: “is that what you want for your birthday?”

Me: “yes”

Brandon: “say it”

Me: “I want you to come over and fuck me all day long for my birthday, B”. (That was hot, I didn’t know why I called him B… I never have before, but I liked it)

Brandon: “I’ll get off”

And that’s that. I have a birthday date. A full day, doing whatever I want. Not only with my boyfriends approval, but fulfilling a fantasy of his at the same time.

Yeah, I could get used to this.


Its my birthday!

Im 23, did you get me a present? :)

Brandon should be here in an hour or so, and I’m crazy excited and nervous.

Im in the middle of getting ready but I thought I should quickly post something saying that having all of you cool followers is a pretty good present in and of itself. :)

I feel like I should be live-blogging this whole day… but we’ll see how much free time I have. Ha!

Wish me luck!


All for the Birthday Girl

Wow. Just wow.

That was, hands down, the most intense, powerful, and downright dirty birthday party I have ever had!

I woke up on Monday morning to a call from my boyfriend. Originally, I was planning on hanging out with him all day, but after last weeks admission that he wanted me to spend my birthday with Brandon, those plans changed. When I answered the phone, he said, “good morning beautiful, happy birthday. How are you feeling?” And I told him I felt great, and that I couldn’t wait to tell him about how hard Brandon fucked me for my birthday present.

We had planned to spend the day together, and we were thinking of going on a hike, and then to lunch and a movie or something, so he also had the whole day off. But we really couldn’t continue with those plans anymore, since Brandon agreed to come over, so i asked him what he planned to do instead. He told me that he was probably just going to stay home and wait for me to call him. I teased him a little, and asked if he was sure about that, because it would likely be a really long time before I called. He told me he was fine with that, and said he wanted me to take all the time I wanted and enjoy myself.

So I did. When I got off the phone, I made myself some coffee and waffles for breakfast, and after I ate, I texted Brandon to tell him that he could come over anytime. He answered me back that he would be at my place in a couple of hours. So I took a shower, and shaved my legs and armpits like normal, but while I was shaving, I decided to take it a little further.

So, normally I try to keep the downstairs trimmed nicely and tidy, but I’ve never really gone all he way with it before. Well, I decided to on Monday. I don’t know why I decided to do it. Maybe it was just to be different, maybe it was to be the “bad girl” that my boyfriend apparently wants me to be… I don’t really know why, but I decided to just go ahead and shave everything off. It took a little while to get done, because let me tell you… If there is one place that you do not want to cut yourself while shaving, that is it. So I did it. I did a pretty good job of it too. It looks good. Would I do it again… Maybe. Let’s see how this goes for a while.

When I got out of the shower, iI put on a Tshirt and shorts for a while as I did my makeup. I figured that this “bad birthday girl” thing was going to be a theme for the day, so I might as well look the part too. So I went a little more dramatic on the makeup than I usually would. Not like outrageously slutty or anything, just something more suited for a Friday night out dancing, rather than a Monday morning. He wants me to look hot, remember?

I looked at my phone as I was finishing up my makeup, and Brandon had actually left me a voicemail. I don’t know how it missed the call, but I swear my phone never rang, and it was beside me the whole time. Anyway, I listened to it, and he said that he was on his way over, and that he would be there in 20 min. That was a lot sooner than the original “couple of hours” he had said before. I had this dirty little fantasy in my head of wearing the lingerie my bf bought for me when I opened the door for him, but really I didn’t have te time for that now. I hurried downstairs and cleaned up my kitchen a bit from breakfast, and right as I was about done, he knocked on my door.

What a rush. Here I was, on my birthday, freshly clean, shaved, and made up, about to open my door and invite a guy into my house that wasn’t my boyfriend, and most definitely wasn’t there to play Yahtzee. I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you I was already more than a little turned on.

I went to the door and opened it for him. He didn’t exactly take the same amout of time to get ready that morning that I did. He hadn’t shaved, and had some noticible stubble going on, and he wore baggy shorts, flip flops and a dirty shirt. No matter. They wouldn’t be on for long anyway.

When I opened the door he said “good morning Court, happy birthday. I brought your present.” And he grabbed the front of his shorts. Total class. I laughed a little, and rolled my eyes a bit but I told him to shut up and get inside. He came in, and I closed the door behind him. He then said something to the extent of “So, you’d rather spend your whole birthday with me rather than [bf]?” And I said “well, it’s his dumbass fault for having to work today (even though he wasn’t) - you got off, so you get me”

He asked me what I wanted to do, and when I shot back a “what do you think I want to do?” He said “well, you texted me, you know the rule”. But then I told him I wanted to do this a little different today, because it was my birthday, and told him to sit down for a while, because I actually had a present for him. He asked what it was, but I told him to sit down and be patient, and he would see. I ran upstairs to my room, and pulled out the birthday lingerie.

It is such an incredibly unique feeling to experience, I can’t even really describe how I felt putting it on. It was some sort of mixture of pride, lust, debauchery, evilness, taboo, selfishness, and heat. It was incredible. Knowing that I was putting on lingerie that my boyfriend had bought me, but never seen me in before, for the sole purpose of using it with another guy. My head was spinning, and I was so incredibly turned on.

When I came out of my room, I walked slowly back downstairs to my living room/kitchen area. Brandon was sitting on the couch looking at his cell phone, but as soon as I turned the corner he looked up, and his jaw just dropped. I wish I had a picture of his face. Priceless. I went right into the sexy-catwalk kinda modeling for him, and turned around a few times to give him the full view. He just sat there and stared, and kept saying “are you serious?” About 20 times, over and over again. He asked if this was his present, and I said yes, sorta… I told him the lingerie was actually a birthday present for me from my boyfriend, but that he hadn’t seen me in it yet. Brandon loved that! After that, while I was still doing my little modeling routine, he said “you’re dirty”. And all I could do was shrug and smile playfully at him.

He had his shirt off in no time, and his pants were off shortly after that. He told me he wanted me to keep the cami on, cause he thought it was hot, so I did. We went at it. There wasn’t the same “you start” - “no you start” drama there was in the past. We just both went for it like we knew what we were doing… Right there in my living room. On the couch, on the floor, over the back of the couch… It was great. And that was just the first session. It drove him crazy that I shaved for him. Every other time I was with him, I just trimmed. Not this time. We probably went at it for close to an hour, in various states of intensity ranging from heavy petting while catching our breath to getting my hair pulled while he was behind me and I was bent over the couch.

At one point, my phone even rang. I panicked for a minute, thinking it might be my bf telling me to stop… But it wasn’t. Turns out it was actually my mom, calling to wish me a happy birthday. I didn’t answer. I figured that it was best to let it go to voicemail than risk her hearing something. Brandon thought it was funny.

Brandon was rough. Like, he knew what I wanted for my birthday present. Heck, I was even the one who told him ass much over text. He did just that. I can honestly say that nobody, him included, ever slapped my ass so much in one week as he did that morning. I probably got 23 birthday spankings 5 or 6 times before it was done. I didn’t even try to stop him.


By about 11, I was completely exhausted, and starving. (Side note - sex burns a ton of calories!) so I asked him if he wanted to get something to eat. He said ok, so I went up and changed out of my lingerie (I know, sad, huh?) and back into regular clothes. I didn’t shower or anything. Probably a bad move, as you’ll see later. We jumped in his car, and went to get some lunch, but my butt was so sore that I had to sorta sit sideways in the chair, on my hip facing him. He thought that was funny.

We grabbed some food really quick in a drive through, just in case anybody inside knew either of us, and brought it back to my place to eat. We didn’t get very far before we were at it again. It started on the kitchen counter, but - while it sounds fun - that was actually really uncomfortable. Particularly when my butt still was sore. So, we sorta migrated upstairs to my room. Go time again. It was hot, and sweaty. My room has a window air conditioner, but we were both a little too busy to go turn it on, and at noon or so in August, my bedroom gets pretty warm. We didn’t care. It was raw, it was rough, and it was a****listic. I have never sweated so much during sex. It was great. I don’t know how many times we went at it… 4 or 5 maybe. It felt like it was on, then rest enough to catch our breath, get some water, grab another condom, (yes, still use condoms) and then right back at it again.

He is mean during sex. He said things that would make a sailor blush. It’s part of the reason I like it actually. But that afternoon, he took it to a new level, and I let him. He started calling my boyfriend an idiot, and saying he didn’t know what I needed. At first i was sorta taken aback, as the whole reason that this was happening was that my bf wanted it too. But then again, Brandon didn’t know that at all, so I let him continue to think that he was such a big stud. I even played along when he prodded me to say things too… Like how I needed him to fuck me because my boyfriend couldn’t do it right… Stuff like that. He liked that. It seemed to make him more aggressive, which, in turn, made me a little more compliant, and which I liked. I’m not gonna lie.

At about 4:00, I was exhausted. Like literally couldn’t get out of bed. I told him that my bf was going to be off soon, so he had to go. He reluctantly agreed, and after getting dressed he left. I managed to get some underwear and a sleep shirt on, and I passed out in my bed. I guess I wasn’t planning on that. I probably should have gotten up and taken a shower, but I wasn’t exactly thinking straight. I slept.

I woke up about 6pm when my phone rang. It was my sister… Another call wishing me a happy birthday, and another one I let go to voicemail. I called my boyfriend, and told him I was done, and that he could come over. He said that he would, but that he wanted me to get dressed for dinner. Apparently he had reservations at 6:30, and was only minutes away from calling and canceling them if I hadn’t called him. I told him that I’d rather just go to dinner another night, but then he sorta came clean and admitted that he had been planning a birthday dinner for me, and had invited all my friends, and that they were all supposed to meet us at my favorite restaurant/bar downtown. How do you say no to that? So I agreed, and told him to come pick me up, and by the time our phone call ended he was already about 6 blocks away, and I had to get ready fast.

So, just to recap here, I had just spent the better part of the day getting my brains fucked out in a ridiculously hot bedroom, while sweating something fierce and getting my hair pulled and makeup ruined… A dinner out with my best friends on 10 min notice?!? What could go wrong?

I did a mad dash around my room and bathroom, trying to fix my hair and makeup as best as I could, and grabbed a red tank top and black skirt to wear, and my bf was coming in my door right as I was running downstairs trying to put earrings in and avoid falling down the stairs and breaking my neck also. I told him to be careful tonight, because I was really sore, and gave him a peck on the lips before grabbing my purse and heading out the door. On the way to the restaurant, I told him all about how sore I was, and how Brandon absolutely loved the lingerie he bought me… He got so turned on, that I had my hand on his crotch as he was driving and I was telling him everything that had happened that day. I actually felt bad when we parked, because he was hard as hell, and I just had to zip him up and give him a little pat because we were so late.

Dinner was great. It really was. I got to see a lot of my best friends, as well as some that I hadn’t seen since graduation. It was really sweet of my bf to plan everything for me. I hung out with everybody and had some drinks and caught up with old friends. We stayed out till about 11:30, which is saying something, considering I had to be up early for work yesterday. For some reason, I did a lot of standing that night - sitting was still a bit uncomfortable for me.

The absolute funniest thing that happened all night happened after dinner when I went to the bathroom. My friend Karissa happened to be in there at the same time as me, and she wished me a happy birthday, and gave me a huge hug, and then, as she was moving away, she stopped for a second, and leaned back into my neck and sniffed. I didn’t really know what to think… But then she whispered to me “Courtney, you smell like hot sex.” I probably turned 8 shades of red… If she only knew. She saw me blush, and smiled and said “yeah birthday girl! [bf] is treating you right!”

She was half right.


Anonymous asked:
Could you describe a bit more about Brandon physically and what turns you on about him? What does he offer which your bf doesn't and how is the sex different? Is it better with him or just different? Thanks! I love your blog!

Yeah, sure…

Brandon is about 6ft tall and 200lbs. By comparison, my bf is 5'10" and about 170lbs. Brandon has two tattoos, one on his shoulder blade, and one on his forearm. I don’t know why I like that, but I find it kinda hot. He has very short dark brown hair and he usually has some stubble going on whenever I see him. He is more of an asshole, for sure. I’ve said this before, but he is a regular guy in public, and a complete chauvinistic, cocky, jerk when we are alone. I have no idea why, but I find that appealing. Sex with him is always more rough, less passionate, more physical, and less - mental. (I was considering writing “less emotional” there, but that’s not accurate… It’s emotional, just different emotions). With my boyfriend, it’s pretty much the complete opposite. Neither way is wrong, they are just different. There are times when I feel like I want to be loved, and cuddle too. Just depends on my mood.




Birthday lingerie… FROM the boyfriend, but not FOR the boyfriend…


chapter4twenty asked:
I'm smitten by you, Kitten. Sexy writing, naughty mind. Love the pipe in the lingerie selfie. You must be in Colorado. :)

Damn! I honestly didnt even see that my pipe was in the picture! I was so nervous about posting it last night that I had a couple glasses of wine and completely missed that.

I suppose it is fitting that somebody with your name would pick up on it.

As far as confirming my location…

No comment.



September 2014

Quick Q&A on a Wednesday Night

Time for an update… This one is going to be sorta a quick mixed bag update, addressing a few questions that you all have asked about, so prepare yourselves for a couple of different topics here…

First, why haven’t I posted in a while?

I actually spent the holiday weekend out at a lake with my boyfriend and his family. His family usually tries to do an end of summer camping vacation at a lake, and this year was no different. Last year I couldn’t go, because classes were going on, and I had school related stuff going on, so I stayed back. This year I just had work, and since I still have the ability to leave work at work, it wasn’t too difficult to get away for a 4 day weekend, so I took the opportunity.

It was actually a lot of fun. Waterskiing, camping, hiking, and plenty of fun games with him and his family. He has two siblings - a sister and a brother - both younger than him, and his parents. His aunt and uncle also came, and brought their two k**s, so all in all there were 10 of us. It was a great time. It has absolutely nothing to do with the purpose of this blog, but after seeing some of the comments and suggestions you crazy people come up with, I feel like it is good to remind you guys occasionally that I am an actual person with an actual real life going on… So there’s that.

Next topic: How did I tell my bf about my birthday fun, and what was his reaction?

Well, after the birthday dinner with friends that night, he took me back to my place, and was like a k** who had just eaten too much sugar. He was pretty much bouncing off the walls wanting me to tell him what happened. In the past, when I have fooled around with Brandon, I have told my bf during sex, but I didn’t do that this time, for a very obvious reason; I was completely exhausted and more than a little sore from the whole day. I really wanted nothing more than to go to bed, so we did. I laid down, under the covers next to my bf, and told him that I thought of a new game I wanted to play with him. (Actually, this idea came from a follower too, but he didn’t need to know that). I snuggled right up to him, and put my hand down the front of his pants, and I told him that I was going to tell him every single thing I did that day while I gave him a hand job, but as soon as he finished, I would stop. So I did… I told him everything. He already had an idea of the big things that happened, because - as you will remember if you read that birthday post again - he got a little hint of it while he was driving to dinner.

I told him about how I got ready, and how I shaved for Brandon. He was totally surprised. He asked me if he could see. I said no, it wasn’t for him… I thought he might finish right there, he moaned so loud I thought my roommate might wake up in the next room, but he calmed down enough to let me continue. I told him about letting Brandon in the door, and how I told him to sit down on the couch while I put the lingerie on upstairs. I told him how I felt so hot and dirty knowing that he bought it for me, but Brandon got to see it and enjoy it first. Another close call on finishing there… I told him that he fucked me in that lingerie on the couch, and on the floor, and over the back of the couch while pulling my hair and slapping my ass… That was it. He didn’t last long after that. He couldn’t stop himself again, and let go.

I got up and walked to the bathroom to clean off my hand, and while I was in there I asked him how my butt looked. He said that it looked great, and asked me why I asked. I told him that my ass had never been slapped so many times in one day. He loved that too. He wanted to hear more, because he knew there was more… I hadn’t told him at all about sneaking out for food, or about the second major round of the really hot and sweaty stuff in my bedroom, or even about what Karissa had said to me in the bathroom that night. I didn’t tell him. I told him, a rule is a rule… And went to sleep. The next night, after work, we played again, and I picked up where I left off. This time, he was actually able to make it through the rest of the story without letting go. So, for his reward he got to see and feel me shaved. He let go after that. ;)

Have I seen Brandon since then?

No, I haven’t actually. He texted me this weekend, but since I was away, I couldn’t meet him. I tried to get ahold of him when I got back, but then he was out of town for a couple of days too. So, while we aren’t avoiding each other or anything, no, I haven’t seen him since my birthday. Hopefully that can change soon.

Ok, last topic for this post: has my boyfriend seen the pic of me in the lingerie that I showed you all?

Actually, no, he hasn’t. I’m sure he would love to, but he doesn’t even know it exists. Of course he has no idea that I have this blog, and that the last year or so of my life with him is essentially available for the world to see either. I suppose one of you could know him, and tell him about this, and he would see my pic that way, but no, he hasn’t seen it yet. So, you all have seen a pic of me that my bf hasn’t. At least not yet. So ya got that going for ya…


A Surprise Dinner Date

An awesome, unplanned, totally hot thing just happened, and I had to get home to tell you all about this…

This evening, after work, my bf came over, and we were just hanging out, not really doing too much, just planning on having a lazy evening, but we eventually decided to go out and grab something for dinner. It was completely spontaneous, and really it was driven by both of us wanting to be lazy and not cook anything, rather than any special plans. We didn’t even know where we wanted to go, we just left, and thought we’d find a place that looked like it would work for us.

We drove towards downtown, near where lots of our favorite bars and restaurants are, parked the car, and just started walking around to all our usual spots that we frequent. I didn’t want Mexican food, he didn’t want burgers, this place was too expensive, that place had too long of a wait… We couldn’t decide on anything for sure until we came across this little pizza place. We had been there before, and the food was decent, if not outstanding, and by this time we were both getting hungry, and we just needed food. Neither of us could come up with a reason not to, so we went in, and got seated right away. They put us in a four person booth, and my bf sat on one side, and I sat on e other. Just a regular old meal, right? Or so you’d think…

About 5 min after we sit down and order drinks, I looked over into the bar area and saw two guys. One of them looked so familiar to me, I was sure I recognized him from somewhere, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I pointed him out to my bf, but when he looked, he said he had no idea and he was pretty sure he hadn’t ever met him before. I was sure I knew him, but it took me a while to place it…

And then it finally came to me. I remembered that his name was Matt, and he used to date one of my friends from high school/early college.

So, quick background here… I went to high school with my bf. I said that at the very beginning of my blogging. Well, in addition I went to school with a girl named Katie, who I was pretty decent friends with the last couple of years in high school, and lived in the same dorm as her freshman year in college. We hung out on occasion, but not often, and after freshman year we each sorta went our own ways and did our own things. Nice girl, friendly, and fun, but not my best friend or anything. So this Matt guy did not go to high school with us, but did go to the same college as us, and he dated Katie for the majority of our freshman year. I had met him through her - back in the dorms, but I don’t honestly remember if my boyfriend had ever met him or not. The point was that he didn’t know this Matt guy at all.

In a flash of genius, I realized two things, 1- Matt was cute, and 2- I could use this situation to my advantage if I did it right. So I got up the courage, and yelled “Matt!” In his direction. My boyfriend looked at me like I was crazy, and then looked over his shoulder to see if the guy responded. He did. He looked at me and gave me the furrowed brow “huh?” look, and pointed to himself like “me Matt?” And I nodded and waved at him, and waved him over towards me. He and the other guy he was with started walking over towards our table. My boyfriend was very confused, he said “Court, who is this guy?” I didn’t answer him right away… “Courtney??” I waited until the two guys were about 5 or 6 steps away and got up to great them, and as I did, I slyly whispered to my boyfriend under my breath “just play along cuckold…”

He hates that word. If you have read my blog, you know two things about him in particular… He hates that word, he says it makes him seem weak, and I sorta find it entertaining to tease him about it. I think I want to try to eventually get him to come to terms with it… But I digress…

“Hey Matt, do you remember me?” I asked as the two of them stood by our booth and my bf sat there watching us. He needed a refresher, but after I reminded him of Katie, and freshman year, and attending a few house parties together he eventually remembered me. I knew he actually did too, and wasn’t just acting polite, because he actually told me about an attempted keg stand that I not-so-expertly performed at a party freshman year that I had done my best to try to forget about… But it was the truth, and we had a good laugh about it.

He introduced his friend Seth, and then I decided I should probably do the same… I turned to my boyfriend and introduced him as “[bf], a colleague and friend from work”. I asked them if they wanted to join us for dinner, and of course they gave the polite response of “no we wouldn’t want to interfere with your dinner out”. But no way, I wasn’t having that, I insisted that we had just worked late, and we were both hungry, so decided to split a pizza after work, and that having them join us would be great. They were convinced. Seth slid into the booth next to my umm- colleague from work, and Matt sat down right next to me. I’m sure my boyfriend’s heart was racing there.

Dinner was fine… Nothing special, nothing terrible. The conversation was much more interesting. At one point this Seth guy asked my bf what he did at work. My boyfriend doesn’t have the same degree as I do… Not even close. Lucky for him, neither one of these guys did either, and he has had enough conversations with me about my job to be able to make up semi-realistic sounding things. Which he did, on the fly. It was all total bullshit, and made no real sense, but only he and I knew that. When it looked like he was struggling with something, I would jump in and save him, but for the most part I let him do it all himself. I was proud of him. He kept his cool and made it pretty believable.

We talked a lot with these two guys over dinner. We watched the football game that was on in the bar tonight, even though I really didn’t care at all about it. The guys were interested, so I had a few beers and enjoyed myself too. About halfway through the game, the score was pretty lopsided, so we got to talking about other things too. Apparently they had just got back into town from a road trip to California, and on the way back they had stopped in Vegas. So, that was awesome to talk about, because it was actually exciting and interesting, and I didn’t have to fake any interest like I did with the football game. Matt told me about playing craps at a casino, and actually winning a ton of money, which was crazy to me, because I have always been terrified of craps and stayed clear of them. He took his time, explained lots of stuff to me that I never knew, and told me that if I wanted to gamble sometime he would be happy to gamble with me, and help me learn some stuff. (Umm, yeah!)

My boyfriend stayed pretty much quiet through the whole thing. It was great because he got to openly watch me flirt with another guy at the same table as him, I got to have an interesting conversation while turning my boyfriend on, and Matt and Seth got to hang out with a single (?) girl that invite them to eat with her and her coworker. Everybody wins.

At the end of dinner, we were all getting up to leave, and I felt a little naughty, so I actually asked Matt if he could maybe give me a ride home? Right in front of my boyfriend. I told him that I had walked to work that morning, and then my umm - colleague had given me a ride downtown. He said he could do that - we didn’t live too far apart. I told my coworker that I would see him tomorrow… I can only imagine what he was thinking. ;) I left with Matt.

The ride to my place was pretty uneventful actually. A little small talk, friendly stuff… But when we got to my house, I put my hand on his arm, thanked him for the ride, and told him I was really glad that I had run into him again. I told him I had a lot of fun with him back in college, and if he wanted to gamble with me sometime, that I was totally up for it. I asked him if I could give him my number, and he said of course. I gave him my number, and told him to use it.

After that, I came inside, sat right down at my computer, and started typing this for all of you.

I have no idea what is going to happen here. Maybe he calls me sometime, maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he’s awesome in bed, maybe he sucks. Maybe i found another guy to play with, maybe not…I really have no idea. The whole point of this little experiment was to prove to myself that I could be to one to initiate conversation with another guy, even while my boyfriend was right there watching me. It was empowering.

My “coworker” has no idea what I may or may not be doing at this very moment.

I think I’ll wait to tomorrow to tell him anything.


A Nice Evening Jog

Oh, hey there Tumblr, how ya been? Long time no talk. Let’s chat, shall we?

Well, that was an interesting couple of weeks. Sorry for the delay in updating everybody, my life has been crazy busy over the past couple of weeks. I’m really in the thick of hings at work, and I’m putting in lots of hours, and usually when I get home, my life consists of a quick dinner while watching some mindless TV show, and an early bed time. But fear not, I haven’t abandoned all you wonderful followers.

An update on the exciting parts of my relationship for the past two weeks:

So, last time I updated everybody was after my boyfr– I mean my coworker and I went out for pizza and I met (re-met) Matt and gave him my number. We’ll… that was Monday night, and after he dropped me off, I was hoping I would hear from him soon, but he didn’t call me Tuesday or Wednesday, and by Thursday I figured he wasn’t interested, and chalked it up to a good try, but nothing more… More on that later.

But first:

So - on Thursday after work I was pretty stressed out, and I really just needed something to take my mind off things, and I decided I would try to call Brandon again. I OKed it with my boyfriend, who agreed that I was a bit stressed out lately, and thought it would be good if I spent some time with Brandon for a while, since I hadn’t seen him since my Birthday. However, it was like 7:30 in the evening, and I thought that I needed a new “excuse” to meet up with Brandon, because the “[bf] is working” thing has been done a few times, and I don’t want to wear it out. So, after talking with my boyfriend, we came up with a new reason to hook up with Brandon, that would be both original and fun, for all three of us.

I called Brandon and when he answered I told him that I was in the middle of a run, and asked him if he was available for a “quickie”, to which he readily agreed. He asked me where I was, and if I wanted him to come meet me somewhere. I lied, and told him that I was at a park nearby, but told him that I would just come to his house, rather than continue my “normal run”. So I hurried and changed into some running shorts, t-shirt and sports bra, kissed my bf goodbye, and promised to tell him all about it, and I literally ran to Brandon’s house.

I have an arm band that I use when I run. It basically just holds my phone against my upper arm so I can listen to music on my headphones while I run. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. This is important, so if you don’t know what I mean, Google it. Anyway, Brandon lives about 20 min away at a normal jogging pace. I made it it about 16… I was excited about what my bf and I had planned.

So, right before I got to his house, I stopped, and called my boyfriend. As soon as he answered, I asked him if he was ready for the fun part of the plan, and he said yes, so I put my headphones in again, and made sure he could hear me, but hen turned off my phone’s screen, put it in my arm band, and walked up to Brandon’s front door. Oh yeah I did.

I knocked on the door, and I was out of breath. It was half from the run, and half in anticipation. One of Brandon’s roommates answered. I had to ask for him. Yes, you read that right - I asked someone I didn’t even know to let me into his house so I could have a quickie with his roommate - of course, he didn’t know why I was there. So, he let me in, and yelled for Brandon. I came inside, and pulled my headphones out of my ears, and wrapped them around my phone while it was still on my armband.

Brandon came down the hall and looked at me - all sweaty and out of breath in my running gear - and had no idea that my phone was in the middle of a call. He nodded at me, and I followed him down the hall to his room. We closed the door behind us, and I took off my armband and phone, and set it on his dresser. It was perfect. He asked me why I called him, and I told him that I had had a really rough week at work, and just needed it bad, and fast, because my bf was at my house, and he thought I was out on a run. He laughed and told me to get to it. So I did. I had my shirt off in a matter of seconds, and he was right behind me.

I don’t think I actually thought about Brandon at all. You might think I’m crazy for saying that, but it’s true. I was naked, and riding him cowgirl while he was laying back in his bed, and the only thing I could think about was how my phone was about 3 feet away from me with my boyfriend on the other end. It was crazy hot! As much as my boyfriend’s fantasy was to hear me having sex, I have to admit that me knowing he could hear me was waaaay hotter than I ever expected it to be. When Brandon started getting mean again, I came, fast. He called me a dirty slut, and that was it. That, with the phone thing did the trick, and pushed me over the edge. I was into it. I liked it. A lot. I don’t know what that means really - I never pictured myself liking being called names, but for whatever reason, I liked it when he did that evening. He didn’t last long either after that, and let out a nice guttural grunt that could only mean one thing to anybody listening in.

The whole thing was fast, and hot. It was done and over in like 15 min. I actually thanked Brandon for letting me come over as I was getting dressed again, and told him that I might need to go on runs more frequently, which, again, he thought was a fantastic idea. I grabbed my phone and arm band, and left. I was only there about 25 min total. It was exactly what my bf and I wanted: hot, fast, and new. As a bonus we even got to incorporate one of my boyfriends fantasies as well. I had a great time. As soon as I got around the corner, I put the phone to my ear and asked my bf if he liked that, and all he said was “oh my god Courtney, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever heard”. I told him to come get me, and 10 min later he was there with his car to pick me up and take me home.

We got home and went at it like rabbits all night.

My boyfriend loved and hated every minute of being on the phone. He told me he was about ready to explode the whole time with a range of different emotions. He hated Brandon, he loved me, he was jealous of Brandon, he was proud of me. He told me that when He heard Brandon call me a dirty slut he about lost it, but then he heard me moaning, and that was even more of a mind fuck.

From that point until tonight, I have really been thinking a lot about us, and about myself, and where I want this to go next. I don’t really know what I want yet. But I’m finding that there are things that really turn me on that I had never even considered before.

So, that was all last week. Now, completely shifting gears here for a brief note…

On Wednesday night of this week, I got a call from Matt, which was totally awesome. He asked me if I wanted to go out for a drink. I didn’t have the chance to ask my boyfriend, because I wasn’t expecting anything, so I assumed that he would be ok with it, and I accepted while I was on the phone with Matt. My boyfriend was actually working that night, so I texted him, and told him about the call, and that I had accepted. He was happy for me, of course, and told me to have a good time. I thought he might be upset that I didn’t ask him first, but he was cool with it.

Matt and I had fun. We met up and just talked over a few drinks at a bar. Just a casual friendly drink thing. No kissing, no sex, nothing like that - at least not yet. Just feeling each other out for now and seeing if we clicked. He is a cool guy. He is smart, has a good job, and seems to have a fun outlook on life. My “coworker” and I are going to have to discuss him further. I could see myself expanding my horizons with him a bit in the future. At the end of the night, we made more plans.

We are having dinner tomorrow night ;)


The Date with Matt

Hey everybody,

I have been getting so many messages from people asking how my date with Matt went, that I decided to skip my lunch today at work so I could finish this post and fill you all in. I know, I know, I’m sorry I didn’t post this right after it happened. Sue me.

Anyway,

My boyfriend came over to my place after he got off work, which was about 6ish. Matt had said the he would pick me up around 7, so when I got off work, I came home and started getting ready before my boyfriend was even there.

By the time my boyfriend got there, I felt like I was being interrogated by he cops. “Where are you going? What are you going to wear? What are you going to let him do? When will you be back? How can I help?” Well, we (Matt and I) had agreed that this was just going to be a casual date. Noting trying to impress each other or anything, so while I may have wanted to wear something sexy and revealing (still trying to fulfill his fantasies) I ended up just wearing a black skirt, a cute maroon-ish, ruffled, sleeveless top, and some wedge sandals. It was cute - it didn’t send a “bend me over the dinner table right now in public” vibe, but more like “casual, fun-loving, date-able girl” kind of feel to it. Really, it would probably be something very similar to what I might wear for an actual first-date sometime… Which, I guess this sorta was.

As I was getting ready, I was answering my boyfriends questions left and right. I was sorta leading him on too… Hinting at things that I “might” do, just to let his imagination run wild.

I told him we decided to go downtown, to a seafood restaurant that he (Matt) had heard was good, but neither of us had been to. My bf said that he had never even heard of the place, but he looked it up online, and was practically reading me the menu while I doing my hair. It is a pretty expensive place actually, I would say an average of about $30 a plate. Which is pretty much outrageous if you are still on a college budget, which explains why my bf had never even heard of it.

My bf asked me how far I would let him go that night. I told him I wasn’t sure… Maybe a peck on the cheek in his car… Maybe making out on my couch when he brought me home… Maybe I’d beg him to stay the night so I could show him my birthday lingerie (which bf STILL hasn’t seen me in yet). I was totally willing to see where the evening took us, and then go for anything I felt comfortable with. I don’t think I’d ever seen him pace around a room like he was doing during the time I was getting ready. He probably walked 10 miles back and forth in increments of 10 feet. A little anxious anyone?

When he asked me how he could help, I actually had a great idea. I told him to go through my house, and take down any picture of himself. Now - we have been together for quite a while by now. We have pictures of us all over… Vacations, graduations, parties, family gatherings, even just random drunken Friday nights in college. I probably have 10 or 12 pictures s**ttered around my bedroom, hallway and living room areas. He didn’t get it at first. He asked me why. I answered back “if I do bring Matt home, what kind of girl would I be if I had pictures of one of my coworkers all over my house?” He got it then. I guess he hadn’t remembered that was how I had introduced him to Matt. He was my coworker, that’s all. Brandon actually likes seeing those pictures. It makes him feel like he is in control, like he is so big and bad, and is such a stud that I need to have him behind my bf’s back. With Matt, our whole approach is going to need to be different. I’m not sure how yet, but it will need to be.

I actually felt a little bad, and felt like I was a little mean to him as he was taking down all his pictures while I was doing my makeup. He brought them up to my bedroom in his arms, and after I made them put them all in a box in my closet, I gave him a big kiss, and a quick fondle through the front of his jeans, and reassured him that I loved him, this was all just part of our story. I told him that after the date, I was going to make him put them all back before I told him what happened.

My boyfriend about panicked when Matt rang my doorbell. I told him to relax and stay in my room. I wasn’t going to be bringing him inside quite yet. I told him to lock the door behind him when he left after me, and I went downstairs to open the door. I opened to door, and said hello, and gave Matt a quick hug. He asked me if I was ready, and I said yes, just had to grab my purse, which was sitting on my coffee table. I got it, and walked out the door as he was saying something about how hungry he was. All I was thinking about was how my boyfriend must have been feeling while I was walking to the car for an actual date with another guy. I never asked him if he did or not, but I wondered if he watched me leave out my bedroom window.

Dinner was great. The restaurant was something I would love to try again sometime. I had a grilled fish with lemon butter and caper sauce, with potatoes and asparagus. It was freaking delicious. We talked about all kinds of things. His job, my job, college, the last time we remembered each other, his vegas trip, and his theory of gambling and playing craps… All sorts of stuff. It was actually really fun. I had an awesome time. We ended up splitting a bottle of Shiraz over dinner too, which probably helped in achieving that good time. It wasn’t romantic, or candle-lit, or anything cheesy like that. It was just more casual, like two friends getting reacquainted over dinner. It is weird to say, but I was comfortable with him. I don’t know what that means yet.

I excused myself when we were almost finished with dinner to go to the bathroom. I texted my boyfriend from the bathroom, and I told him that we were almost done, and that I was going to have him take me home. He asked me how dinner was, and if I wanted to invite him inside when we got home. I don’t know why, but I wasn’t ready to do that. I just answered him that dinner was great, and that he is a cool guy, but there wouldn’t be any inviting him inside when we got back.

That is exactly what happened too. Matt paid for dinner, even though I offered to pay my half, but he insisted. He took me home, and I thanked him for an awesome evening. I wanted to invite him in, but I didn’t want to at the same time. I had some conflicting emotions. I don’t know why - I know my bf would have been fine with it, but I was having some sort of internal monologue going on, and I didn’t like it. Guilt maybe? I don’t know, but it was enough to make me uncomfortable, so while my bf may have wanted me to, I wasn’t quite ready to, so that was my decision. I gave him a hug, and thanked him again, and he said he hoped he could call me again sometime. I agreed, and he drove off.

That was it. That was my whole date. It wasn’t a sex-filled romp in the sheets with a new guy all night like some of you were hoping. It was just a nice evening with a cool guy, and an agreement that we both had fun.

I called my boyfriend to come over, and when he did, we put the pictures back up together while I told him the same story. He stayed he night with me that night, and we just talked and watched a movie.

I’m trying to figure out why I wasn’t comfortable inviting Matt inside. I have spent the last week or so talking it over with my boyfriend. I think I feel like I owe it to my boyfriend to have some sort of “story”. For example, the whole thing with Brandon hinges on the fact that Brandon thinks he is making me cheat, so he gets all arrogant and domineering, and rough. Then I go back and tell my bf all about it, which he likes.

I think before I sleep with Matt, I need a plan on how to keep my bf comfortable and involved.

I need advice.

Do I risk telling Matt about my bf, and that he is willing to share me so that I can get my bf directly involved with something new?

Do I keep my bf a secret from Matt and continue telling bf about this after the fact?

Do I do something in between?

Help me out Tumblr…