CCG 2014 #4

October 2014

Decisions, Decisions…

Hey guys,

First of all, I would like to say thank you to everybody that wrote me and gave me advice with regard to the situation with Matt. You guys were actually able to help bring a bunch of different perspectives to light for me, and it helped me make a decision on how to move forward.

There were a bunch of different suggestions. Some of you guys thought I should just continue with “dating” Matt, and not tell him about my boyfriend at all. Others of you thought that doing that to Matt would be pretty cruel, as he seems like he is a pretty nice guy.

I tended to agree more with that second set of opinions.

My boyfriend and I have been talking about this for a while now, trying to figure out where to go from here. Some people like to say to me “your boyfriend lets you mess around? Why haven’t you been with 30 different guys already?” It’s not nearly that simple in reality. There are so many considerations, complications, fears, and hurdles to get over before a couple can actually do something like this. I started this blog about 9 months ago, and I’ve been with a total of 1 guy that isn’t my boyfriend since then. It’s more difficult than it may seem in online stories and some blogs.

Anyway, back to Matt. After consideration of our situation by both my bf and myself (and a few dozen of my Tumblr followers) we came to a few conclusions:

1- Matt is a nice guy. He has done nothing to lead me to believe that he is a jerk or doesn’t deserve my consideration.

2- Because he is a nice guy, he likely didn’t try to be too forward with me on our date because he didn’t want me to be uncomfortable or scare me off.

3- Given the statements above, we thought that Matt likely sees me more as a potential future girlfriend, not just a fling.

4- I can’t be Matt’s girlfriend.

So, where did that leave us? Well, I decided that I couldn’t, in good conscience, continue to give Matt the impression that I was girlfriend material, so something had to happen. I decided that I had two options. First, just come out and tell Matt that I had a boyfriend, but that it was an “open relationship” and he was cool with me seeing other guys. If he was cool with that, then bingo, we were in business. If he wasn’t cool with that, he would probably think I’m a crazy slut, my boyfriend was a pervert, and he would run away and never be heard from again. The second option was more blunt. If I’m not going to be his girlfriend, I needed to stop pretending like I was interested, and call everything off right now. No harm, no foul, just tell him I wasn’t interested, and wish him the best. If you think about it, that would probably be the best scenario for preserving Matt’s feelings,even though he might not even know it.

I really didn’t like either options. Tumblr to the rescue! Multiple followers actually suggested something that was a sort of compromise, and that’s what I did…

I called Matt last week, and I actually asked him out to have a drink with me. He said yes, so we arranged to meet on Monday evening so that we could talk a bit. We met at a bar that I’ve been to a hundred times, and had a drink, and chit chatted for a while making small talk. I was actually more nervous about that talk than the dinner date the week before. I took a few deep breaths, and just came out with it. I told him that I thought he was a really cool guy, and I really appreciated the dinner, and how nice he was being to me. But I also said that I needed to be completely honest with him too. He got a little nervous, probably assuming the worst (whatever he thought that might be). I told him that I thought he was a great guy, and a lot of fun, but that I didn’t want to give him the wrong impression. I told him that I loved hanging out with him, but I didn’t want to get into a relationship right now. I told him I was young, and wanted to explore, and see what the world had to offer. So, if he was looking for a steady girlfriend, that it was probably best if he looked elsewhere.

He was surprised. He told me that he actually got the impression that I was interested in him. To which I almost immediately responded that yes, I was… But I just wasn’t interested in being anybody’s girlfriend right now. He was bummed, but I told him that it didn’t mean that we couldn’t hang out, and have drinks, and have fun together.

I put the ball in his court. I felt like I owed it to him to let him decide on this one. If I told him I had a boyfriend and he freaked out, then he was gone. If I told him I wanted to be with him, I wasn’t being respectful of a guy that has been nothing but awesome to me. I figured I would let him decide. If he wants to stick around, knowing at I don’t want anything serious,and with little to no emotional attachment, then maybe he is the right guy to explore things further with. If that doesn’t work for him, well then… I’m in the exact same place as I was before.

That all happened on Monday night. I went home, so did he. I haven’t heard from him yet. I don’t think that is a good sign, but who knows. I feel like this is probably best for him, even if he doesn’t know it. If he calls me, and wants to hang out, I would totally do it. If he doesn’t… Well then, that is his decision.

So that’s it. That’s the update. Sorry that I don’t have anything more exciting to report on that front. It has been a week of frustration on my part, with very little progress made toward exploring/expanding things in my current relationship with my bf. My boyfriend has noticed too. He has been great through all of this “figuring stuff out” with Matt. He has been a great listener, and we have sat together on more than a few nights and talked about things with Matt over a glass of wine until the early hours of the morning. He still wants me to do this. He is still supportive of me, and has been 100% supportive of my decisions. He even suggested that I go meet up with Brandon again, just to get my mind off of things, but when I called Brandon, he was out of town. Ugh. So yeah, frustration.

I don’t really know where I’m going next. Does anybody have any ideas as to how I can meet awesome, hot, fun guys who don’t want to be in a relationship with me??? It’s a lot harder than it seems.

Anonymous asked:
Just a quick thought- Brandon understands that he isn't going to be your significant other, he has consented to being used in a particular way and doesn't seem to have any concerns about it. Matt hasn't done the same. Are you okay with leading him on in a potentially damaging way without explaining all the stakes to him? This is a relationship you're starting, not just a dude you're banging. That might explain some of your hesitation?

This comment pretty much hit the nail on the head. I couldn’t do that to a guy that had shown me nothing but the utmost respect since I reconnected with him. If he wants to be friends, or buddies, or even FWB, that is cool with me, but I couldn’t let him consider me potential girlfriend material.

Hopefully this radio silence from him since that talk doesn’t mean he is moving on, but I’m not too optimistic.


benderidontevenknower asked:
Have you considered trying to find a wing(wo)man? Are you friends with a girl that will go out with you to clubs that will be discrete if you find someone? Obviously your bf will know but not your other friends.

I would love the concept of having a wing woman. :)

Unfortunately, I don’t feel comfortable enough to tell any of my friends about this part of my relationship quite yet.

But yes, that would probably help a lot if it were possible.



Retail Therapy!

Hey guys, quick update for all of you that say I don’t update frequently enough. I have decided to not let myself get depressed about this Matt thing, and I figured the best way to do that is to get right back out there in the game.

So, what do you do when you are doing your best to pick up guys, but you haven’t had much luck lately?

If you look good, you feel good.

Today after work, I called my boyfriend and told him I needed to make a couple of stops before I met him for dinner. I stopped at the mall on my way home, and went on a little shopping spree.

I spent way too much. Way more than I was thinking I would, but hey, it was fun. I bought 6 complete new outfits, one for work, two for casual days, 2 really cute “night on he town” outfits, and one really really short black dress for some night when I really want to look smoking hot.

I even stopped at VS and picked up a couple cute new undergarments for myself to boot.

When I got home, my boyfriend was there and he helped me unload everything, and when I pulled out that little black dress, he went crazy. He said it was so hot,and told me he was proud of me for buying it.

Already knowing how he would answer, I asked him if I should wear it when we went out with friends, and, of course, he loved that idea…(remember how he said he wanted me to dress sexier when we went out together?). He then asked if he could see me in it, and I just said “of course you can’t babe. It’s reserved for some guy who hasn’t even met me yet. It’s his present, not yours.”

That made him so hard almost instantly. I could tell he loved that idea, so I teased him about it more. I told him I was going to wear it out to some skeezy club. I told him I was going to wear it while I danced inappropriately with some guy I had just met. He had his hand down the front of his pants by the time I told him I was probably only going to be able to wear it once too, because this guy would probably end up ripping it off me and leaving it a tattered mess on my bedroom floor. He didn’t last long, and made a mess in his shorts. It was probably the fastest start-to-finish for him that I have ever seen. I told him to clean himself up, and then I suggested that he go downstairs and start on dinner while I put all my new clothes away.

So that’s what I am doing now, blogging and putting away my new clothes in my bedroom while he is downstairs cooking dinner for me. I could get used to this… ;)

Now… I just need a real reason to wear this dress…



Here you go guys… little black dress selfie. You’re welcome. :)


A dirty picture! (Not like that)

So, after posting that pic this morning, a couple of you have mentioned that I might not exactly have the cleanest room… Well, yeah… guilty.

Have you ever been in the room of a 23 year old woman? Not to argue, but I feel like I am on the cleaner side of average here…

You will have to forgive the messy room, I had had a few too many glasses of wine last night, and then decided it would be a great idea to take that selfie, and put it in my queue. I wasn’t thinking about cleaning my room when I took it. I guess a couple of remote controls, a granola bar, a purse, a pile of clothes and a stick of deodorant is more acceptable than a pipe though, right?? Oh well, there is no taking it down now!

Thanks for all the likes, comments and reblogs guys, I appreciate it. :)


Another Big Update!

Hey guys, update time!

I still haven’t heard from Matt. I even texted him and told him that I feel like I came off a little too bitchy. I tried to clarify things, and basically said that it’s true I didn’t want to be in a relationship, but I still would love to hang out with him, and maybe fool around a little bit… I don’t know how I make it any more clear than that. But alas, I still haven’t heard back from him. So, I’m guessing he is just a really nice guy who wants a long term, stable girlfriend, and isn’t interested in casual flings. To each his own I suppose. I can’t really blame him for that. If he ever decides otherwise, he knows how to get in touch. One of my followers actually suggested that if he wasn’t willing to get back to me after that, then he probably didn’t have enough testosterone for me anyway, which is probably true.

But, I’m going to use that whole thing as a learning experience! Lessons I learned from Matt:

1- Don’t go on “dates” with potential new guys, so they don’t mistakenly get the impression that I want something serious.
2- make it very clear from the start that I’m not interested in relationships, just in having fun.
3- Keep my spirits up and don’t get depressed when things don’t work out… After all, this is pretty cool that my bf allows me to do this, so don’t dwell on it when it doesn’t work out.
4- make sure to consider everybody’s feelings. Yeah, that sounds sappy, but I think it’s important to make sure everybody knows what is on the table, and what is off limits when looking for other guys, and everybody needs to know this info ASAP.
5- I need a wing woman. I really wish I had the courage to tell my friends about this new part of my life. It would make getting fancy and going out to look for guys soon much easier if I didn’t have to be secret about it around friends. Going to a bar alone just isn’t as comfortable and fun as having somebody there with you. So… Any of my female followers want to be my wing woman sometime? :)

Last thing I want to mention on this, is that I got a recommendation from another follower that I sign up for Tinder. Awesome idea! For those of you that don’t know, it is basically a matchmaking app that matches people based on similar locations. If I log on, I can anonymously (kinda fun being on that side of things) check out photos of guys that are close by, and either “like” them or reject them. If they happen to do the same with my picture, then the app “introduces” us. Apparently it is popular for people who just want casual hookups. So… I did. For those of you that think you know where I am, if you get on tinder, then maybe you will see my picture pop up sometime. I’ll keep you guys updated if I have any luck with it.

Ok, done with the little commercial.

Onto other topics… It had been a long time since I saw Brandon last. After the whole thing with trying to hook up with Matt, and not having made any progress, I was pretty bummed, because when I tried to call Brandon for a hook up, he was out of town too. So -without sounding too cruel- I made due with my boyfriend for a couple of days. I did some shopping, and made myself feel better, and left Brandon a voicemail to call me as soon as he got back. He was away with some friends on a multiple-day hiking/camping thing, and didn’t have cell service for a lot of the time, so I couldn’t even text him back and forth.

He got back to town on Monday afternoon, and called me Monday night. I told him I was going crazy, and needed to see him, and asked if I could come over on Tuesday. He said that he was going to need to take care of a few things in the morning, but that if I wanted to come over anytime after lunch I could… Well, I was originally thinking that I would come over after work, but after he said lunch, I had a quick idea… If I went over in the afternoon I would have a good cover to tell Brandon for my bf - that he assumed I was still at work, and as an added bonus, I would get it sooner, and for longer. The only problem was that I was supposed to actually be at work. I told my bf about this plan, and, of course, being the gentleman that he is, was of course in favor of it.

So on Tuesday morning, when I got into work, I went right up to my boss, and just said that I was really sorry, but that I was going to have to skip out at lunch, because I had made a doctors appointment a few months ago that I had completely forgotten about until “they called me to confirm” the last evening. Well, I have a pretty cool boss, and he was cool with it, and I don’t often skip out early, so it was no problem, and I texted Brandon as I left at lunch to tell him I was on my way.

His roommates weren’t home this time. We had the house to ourselves. He let me in and we pretty much went at it right there. I needed it. It had been too long for me, and I wanted something rough and not cuddly after a pretty long gap since that last time when I went running. I went from “young professional” Courtney to “needy tramp” Courtney in about 20 seconds. It was hot, and different. Almost every time I have been with him, I have been dressed casually… This time I was in my work clothes. Which was basically just a nice skirt, some classy heels and a button up blouse. It was a weird feeling going directly from my work environment to Brandon’s house… I don’t know how to describe it… Regression maybe?? I felt like I was moving from my current life and work situation back into college life.

Like I said earlier, Brandon had just gotten back from a long camping/hiking trip, so his pack was laying on his bed, and a whole bunch of other trip-related stuff was all over his bedroom floor. I didn’t care. I pushed the pack off the side of the bed, and practically pulled him on top of me all in the same motion. His hand was under my skirt, and pulling down my underwear while I was fighting with his belt, and I had to actually remind myself to slow down a couple times… We had all afternoon.

The sex was hot. It was dirty… It was needy… It was “I hate that you fuck me so good I get antsy when you are gone for a long time” sex. I did cum. Multiple times. We did it on the bed, and on the floor, and even in the bathroom when I had to stop to pee for 5 min. Watching yourself have sex in a bathroom mirror is crazy intense. Never thought about it before, but feeling a guy behind me, and seeing his face -not my boyfriends face- in the mirror was a huge rush for me. It made me feel really dirty.

He talked trash about my bf again… And I let him. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about that yet. I realize it makes him feel more studly, but I definitely haven’t told my boyfriend that he says that stuff… I’m not sure how he would react if he knew. He might laugh it off and not care… It might hurt his feelings… I’m not sure yet, so I have left those things out of my descriptions of my trysts with Brandon. I’m not exactly sure about that stuff just yet.

Finally, when we were completely freaking exhausted, I told him that I should probably get going, since “work would be over soon” wink wink… He reluctantly agreed, and we both started getting dressed.

Here is the thing about that… His room was a mess. Like seriously, he had stuff from his trip all over the place. For the life of me, I couldn’t find my underwear. I know that sounds cliche and cheesy and corny, but I really had no idea where they went. I knew he took them off, but I have absolutely no idea what he did with them, or where he threw them… They were somewhere in the black hole that was his room. (Seriously, for those of you that thought MY room was messy…). I found everything else, and after about 10 min looking, I just didn’t care anymore… I figured that my bf wouldn’t care (he might even like it). So I went home. Without my underwear. Like you do when you go to your first house party freshman year in college and go home with somebody, and do the walk of shame the next day without underwear… I did that. Except I drove home, and told my boyfriend all about it. As it turns out, he did love the fact that I came home right from Brandon’s house with no underwear. Lucky me. :). I told him all about it, and he loved the story. He was surprised that I was willing enough to lie to my boss so I could go get some ass. I assured him that it was just a one time thing, and it wasn’t going to become a habit.

So… That is the latest with Brandon. The other thing I wanted to share with you guys is some other big news in my life… It’s vacation time again for me. I am leaving next Wednesday, and I won’t be back until the end of October. I’m going with my family on a family trip, and my boyfriend is not going to be able to make it with us this year. So… I don’t know for sure, but this might be my last update till then… Unless I get some unexpected free time. I will be able to check my blog while I’m gone, but I doubt I will be able to post anything until Halloween…

Speaking of which (witch)… How the hell is it almost Halloween already? I have done absolutely no prep work for a costume of any kind, and I won’t be back from my trip until the morning of the 31st… So I need costume ideas, fast… Anything works, silly, sarcastic, clever, pop culture, couples themed… Just hit me with what you got, as long as it’s easy, because I’m going to have about 5 hours to put something together when I get back.

Until next time…

-C

Anonymous asked:
What is your favorite position with Brandon? It sounds like doggie style.

Yes, that’s probably accurate. :)


sexycouple4225 asked:
Would you ever allow your boyfriend to watch you and another guy? Either via recording or in person? Would you like that?

I don’t know… Maybe. He hasn’t asked yet. Maybe that is coming, I’m not sure. As for if I would like it? I don’t really know anymore. When this all started I would have said no way… But I suppose my feelings bight be starting to change a little bit as we get further into this.


Anonymous asked:
I'm curious, what would you say it is you like so much about doing it doggie style with Brandon? <3

I think I like it best because it is so brutally a****listic. It is forceful, it is impersonal, it makes me feel like I am being taken and used. It isn’t making love, face to face, and kissing… It is pretty much the exact opposite of every time I have ever had sex with my boyfriend. That being said, neither way is bad. I like both kinds of sex. :)


toricooperauthor asked:
That was the HOTTEST freakin' tumblr post EVER! Thank you. Please, I must know. What are some of the obnoxious things Brandon says about your boyfriend when he's fucking you? What did he say when he had you doggie style?

Well thanks so much!

He mostly calls my bf a dumbass, or a moron, or loser… Stuff like that. He says he knows he (bf) can’t fuck me like I need it. He calls me names too… Calls me his little slut, and his own personal secret whore… I used to bristle at the idea of being called names, but I’m finding now that I do it less and less, and actually find myself being turned on by it more now. Is that normal?


November 2014

Halloween House Party

Whew… What an eventful couple of weeks it has been! I am back from my vacation, and, as promised, I will update you all…

Ok, where to start…

I went to Hawaii with my family. Some of you even guessed the right island, and one person even guessed the right beach… Honestly, I was a little freaked out by that. I’m not ready to meet anybody off of Tumblr, particularly in front of my family, while we are on vacation. So, I didn’t answer anybody specifically as to my exact whereabouts. I’m sure you will understand. The island was great, the vacation was great, I had a glorious time. And for anybody wondering, no, I didn’t hook up with any random strangers… Sorry to disappoint you all there.

I also decided to make a change to my blog. Maybe not one you will notice immediately, but I decided to eliminate the “anonymous” option on my asks. I was getting a lot of disparaging anonymous comments, and some of them were pretty mean. Nothing kills the mood while you are on vacation than seeing somebody who obviously hasn’t read my whole blog fire off some mindless drivel about what a horrible person I am. So, the way I see it… Hate on me all you want, just don’t be a coward about it anonymously. If you want to insult me, then do it with your name behind it so I can respond. If you don’t have the courage to do that, you aren’t worth being in my inbox in the first place. Now, two things need to be said about this. First, I promise to respond to a person directly and privately before I post anything with names on it. I’m not here to embarrass anybody. And second… This may or may not be permanent. I am going to see how it goes for a couple weeks and see how I feel. If I don’t get anything interesting, I might turn on the anonymous ask feature again.

Ok… I’ll get off my little soapbox here, and get to the fun stuff that you all came for…

So, for those of you that remember, right before I left for vacation, I found myself in a bit of a pickle… I didn’t have a Halloween costume or anything planned, but my friend was having a Halloween party last night. Well, I got home yesterday at noon… So I had like 4 hours to put a costume together, and of course, my awesome Tumblr followers came through and sent me ideas the whole time I was in Hawaii. I got a lot of suggestions, some cute, some sexy, some funny, some gross…

I just thought I’d share a few:

Wear my lingerie and heels and be a Victoria’s Secret Model (of course).
Put on a low cut dress with lots of T&A and be a celebrity, while giving my bf a bunch of cameras and making him be paparazzi. (Could be fun)
Dress up in a toga and sandals, and have my bf wear a green shirt and stick fake croutons, tomatoes, celery and carrots to him and go as a couple. (Caesar-salad… Get it?)
Go dressed as Batman, and make my boyfriend go as Robin. (To show who was the boss, of course)

I liked those. But the one I ended up doing was both super easy, and super sexy to pull off, and still had the added hint of the power play that goes on behind the scenes with my boyfriend and me. It was actually suggested by one of my favorite people on Tumblr… @toricooperauthor. If you haven’t checked out her blog, do it now. Seriously, this post will be here when you get back. Go follow her, she is amazing. Every time we talk, she has some awesome idea for me to try…

Back yet? Ok, cool…

So, while I was in Hawaii, two days before I left to come back, I texted my boyfriend, and told him I knew what I wanted to do for the Halloween party costumes, but that I needed him to go get a couple of things for both of us, because I wouldn’t really have time. I gave him a list: a visor for me, a pair of workout wristbands, a workout headband, and as plain or boring sweater vest for him that he could find. He asked me what he heck kind of costume I wanted to make, and I told him it would be a surprise…

Oh my goodness, that flight is long. It was something like 10 hours of travel time, including layovers, and I have a really hard time sleeping on planes, so I got next to no sleep, and by the time I got home, I had been up for almost 36 hours straight. Suck. So I was exhausted, but my bf is sweet, and picked me up at the airport and took me home. He told me that he got everything that I had asked for, but he still didn’t know what I was planning. I told him to trust me, and took a nap for 2 hours, just so I wasn’t completely exhausted for the party.

Quick side note here… Thank God that Halloween was on a Friday night this year. If it was a mid-week holiday, there was no way I was going to go out after that trip.

So, about 4pm, my bf wakes me up and says “Court, do you want to go to Karissa’s party or just sleep? Either is fine with me”. (By he way… same Karissa from my birthday story a while back). I assured him that I was good to go, and popped up, and told him to wait 15 min while I got dressed, and then we would go over to his place for his costume. I put a pair of tennis shoes, white socks, a pleated white skirt, a white tank top and a black sports bra, put my hair in a ponytail and put on the visor and wrist bands. Then I went down to my closet where I keep all my random crap (snowboard too) and got out a tennis racket and a couple of tennis balls. And wa-la! Tennis Pro Courtney! It was super easy, a little flirty, and still totally socially acceptable. When my bf saw it, he was like “oh, ok, I get it. I’m cool with that… I had a little surprise for him though…

When we got to his place, I told him I wanted him to wear something along the same lines, but a bit more ridiculous. I told him I wanted him to wear knee high socks with his costume, and the shortest shorts he could find. Then I made him put on a white polo shirt, and this blue and tan sweater vest over the top of it. I had him put on the sweatband on his head too, and that was pretty much it, he was done… He asked me if I forgot a tennis racket for him, but I said no, he didn’t need one… He was my ball boy - and I dropped a tennis ball in front of him while looking right at him. He looked at me a little funny, but then I did the little “Ahem!” thing, and pointed to the ball, and he got the picture. He grinned and sheepishly picked it up and handed it back to me. I just said “all night long, understand? Every time that happens, you better come running” And he smiled. He knew the deal…

Karissa’s party was awesome. She and a couple other girls share a big house, and it is a good party house because it is open, and has a big outdoor space with an awning over it so you can be outside, but still be covered if it is rainy or whatever. It’s pretty cool. Anyway, by the time we got there, there were like 20 other friends/acquaintances of ours there already. Some cool costumes, some stupid ones, some that didn’t even try. I couldn’t criticize anybody though, because mine was pretty simple too. I told people that I took the easy way out because I had just gotten back from Hawaii, and that usually sufficed to change the conversation away from my relatively uninspired costume effort. However, I would randomly “drop” a tennis ball during every other conversation or so, and my boyfriend would rush in, pick it up, hand it back to me and rush out whenever it happened. It made most of my friends laugh a few times… Here was Courtney and her boyfriend, being all cutesy in couples costumes… Right? I felt a little sneaky… A little devious. All those people just thought he was my ball boy, but he and I both knew what was really going on… After I had a few drinks, I stopped calling him “my ball boy”. And started calling him “my ball bitch” in front of my friends. They still laughed. He blushed a little… I wonder why?

At about 8 or 8:30, I decided I was feeling frisky enough, so I sorta cornered my boyfriend alone for a minute, and asked him how he liked being my little ball bitch? He told me he liked it, and I asked him if he wanted me to take it further. He asked what I had in mind, and I told him I could text Brandon and invite him over… After all, I hadn’t seen him in over a week, and I was getting a little… antsy again. After a little bit of whispering in his ear for convincing, and a little bit of light petting… He finally agreed. I said “thanks babe”, and pulled out my phone to text Brandon.

I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was just drinking beer and watching basketball on TV. I told him that I was home from Hawaii, and that I was at a Halloween party with my bf, but that it was really boring, and my bf was probably drunk already, and I may have mentioned how I hadn’t seen him in a long time… Hint, hint… His first reaction was to say that he didn’t have a Halloween costume, but when I assured him that a fair number of people at the party didn’t have one either, he agreed. I texted him the address, and he said he would be over in about a half hour. I immediately went back to the back hard and found my boyfriend to tell him what was up. I told him “remember, you are already pretty drunk -but I might be a little ***** too, and you know how I get a little handsy when I get *****”. And he said that he would do his best, he was just nervous about seeing Brandon again… I could understand that. I’m sure it’s a pretty awkward position to be in… But… Too late now!

Brandon showed up about 20 min later. He did go through some effort… He put on some kind of Tshirt with a skull on it. Better than nothing I guess. He knows Karissa, but hadn’t ever been to her house, so it wasn’t like he was crashing the party or anything. He said his hellos, played it cool, and walked around the party a few times. I was talking to a couple friends, and he was right over one of my friends left shoulder, in another group of guys talking, but I knew he was looking at me… I could feel it. I wasn’t even really listening to the girls I was standing with, because I was concentrating on Brandon… I dropped a tennis ball “Oops! Ball Bitch?!?” He came running, the girls laughed… Haha, funny little Courtney and her cute ball boy boyfriend… How innocent…

In the garage, Karissa and her roommates had set up a beer pong table. If you don’t know what beer pong is, google it. It is called different things in different places, but essentially you have two teams and you try to throw a ping pong bottle into cups of beer to make the other team drink… Simple enough, right? Well, I saw this, and decided that I wanted to play. The way we play, you need a partner, who stands next to you, and he competition is on the other side… So I had an idea… I went up to my bf, and told him to go get a beer, and go the the garage, but be really drunk, and to tell me no when I asked him to be my partner.

I went back to the garage, and here were probably 10 or 15 people there watching, and 4 people playing. Just like I has suspected, Brandon followed me out there soon after. The game continued until here was just one cup left for one team, at which point, I called e next game… No arguments from the crowd… I just needed a partner. I asked my drunk boyfriend who was leaning up against the garage door with half open eyes and a beer in each hand (nice touch!). But he told me no! (The nerve!). I needed to find a partner quick, so I went up and asked Brandon… “What do you think? Want to play?” He said “won’t he be pissed?” And nodded at my boyfriend. I said “he doesn’t even know where he is right now”. And after he looked at my bf another time or two, he agreed to be my partner. Perfect.

In beer pong, you take turns, one team shoots, then the other… The more you drink, the worse you get, for obvious reasons. Brandon and I did alright our first game. We actually beat the team that had won the game before that. So we stayed at the table, and two guys were up next for the following game. That’s when I “really started to feel it”. Or so I told Brandon. My shots “accidentally” got farther and farther away from the cups, until one time… Oops! I missed the table all together! My ping pong ball went rolling around the garage floor. “Ball Bitch?!?” (His role want just for tennis balls, right?). He got up, and stumbled around remarkably well (maybe he was actually drunk by now?). And as he chased the ball, everybody in he garage laughed… What a cute little innocent couples costume…

I took the opportunity with everybody distracted by my gentleman of a boyfriend to arch my back, and grind my ass right into The front of Brandon’s pants. I wasn’t subtle. He got the hint. A few turns later… “Ball bitch?!?” More laughter, and this time his hand went up my skirt and grabbed my ass… Yup, this was happening…

We lost the beer pong game. I didn’t care. I told Brandon I would be back in a minute, and I took my boyfriend by he arm and led him into the house, and into a corner again… I’m sure everybody at the party saw how drunk he was, and was assuming that I was telling him to stop drinking or something… Little did they know. I told him about Brandon feeling my ass while everybody was distracted. I told him I missed on purpose the first time so I could make sure he knew I wanted it… It turned him on immediately. I asked him what he wanted me to do next, and he said “more”. And I said “no, that’s not going to cut it ball bitch, I want to hear you say it”. And after a moment or two of resistance, he said “fuck him”. And I said “say it, all of it, I want to hear you say what you want your girlfriend to do”. There was a bit of a muffled moan, and he said “Courtney, please fuck him tonight”. I said, “are you sure? You haven’t seen me in a week either… Is that really what you want?” And he nodded, without saying anything. I said “good, get a ride home, I’ll see you in the morning”. And turned around and left him in the corner and went back to the garage.

Brandon was still there. We made eye contact. As soon as he saw me he came over to me again. I told him that [bf] was drunk out of his mind! and had no idea what was happening. We waited around for a bit… Talked to a few people… I tried to hide the fact that I was so turned on from all my friends who were there… We lasted about 15 minutes. When we went inside, my bf was gone. Brandon followed me out front. I didn’t say anything, but my bf’s car was gone. He probably just drove home. “Your house or mine?” I asked him, and we both got in his car. He drove to his house. On the way he mentioned that my boyfriend had to be a complete fucking idiot to get that drunk when his girlfriend looked like I did on Halloween night. (That’s a compliment, right?). I told him I knew, and that I was super pissed about that, and that was why I was going home with him… He liked that.

His roommate was home. The same one that let me in when I went for the evening jog. He saw us when we walked in the door. I didn’t care. We went straight to Brandon’s room and I was on all fours on his bed in about 4 seconds. He didn’t even bother with the tank top, sports bra or skirt, just yanked off my underwear and dropped his pants. It was fucking hot. I told him I wanted it bad. I told him I wanted it to be hard. I told him that a 9 day trip to Hawaii was too long to go without ass. I moaned a little when he called me a little slut and pulled my hair. I came. Lots.

In all the times I’ve been with Brandon, it has been a matter of an hour or two. Except for the quickie for 15 min on the night of the jog, and the long marathon that was my birthday. It was always sex. Just sex, and then leaving. I didn’t do that last night. We fucked 3 times last night. Then I was so exhausted, both from the sex and the travel before, that in couldn’t stand it. I slept there, naked, with him. Then we went at it twice more in the morning for good measure before I walked home. Yup. Did the walk of shame… So sue me. I liked it. So did my ball bitch when I told him about it this afternoon. It made him cum without me even touching him…

Happy Halloween everybody! Hope you had fun. I know I sure did.


benderidontevenknower asked:
Brandon's roommate is already a part of your adventure in a peripheral way. Is there any possibility he becomes a player, maybe in a threesome? Is he attractive to you and/or a viable candidate?

Well… I have no idea really. He isn’t an ugly guy, but that is literally all I know about him. If it were to ever progress beyond that, I would probably have to learn more about him… Like, his name, for example.

So, is he a candidate? Yes. Is he a strong contender? Not at this time.


wish2share asked:
Have you thought about having Brandon come over to have sex with you while BF listens from another room? Could be hot...

Thought about it? Yeah…

But doing that is harder than you’d think. I don’t really know how my bf would react to that. It might make him really upset if it was happening right in the next room and he couldn’t do anything about it.

I’ll have to think about that.


diaryofwanderlustblog-deactivat asked:
Oh my god, your Halloween party was insane! That was so hot to read. I think your boyfriend is definitely starting to like the humiliation side of things like you calling him your ball bitch. Do any of your friends know you're cheating on him? I think you should maybe tell Karissa. If she knew before you threw another party, you could fuck Brandon at the party while she kept watch. Also, was that night with Brandon a game changer? First night you've stayed at his right?

No, none of my friends know anything other than the fact that we are a happy couple. I have thought for a while now that having a friend know about this would make things a lot easier, but I literally have no idea how to go about telling any of them this without them thinking I am a terrible, horrible person, and a shitty girlfriend.

If anybody has experience or recommendations on how I could get a friend to be OK with this, please, please let me know…

As for the night with Brandon… Yes, it’s the first night I’ve stayed with him. It drove my bf crazy. But really, it doesn’t change my feelings one way or another about Brandon. Mostly I was just exhausted from the jet lag I think. :)


A Night of Letting Loose

After the craziness of Halloween, things haven’t gotten any easier for me lately. Work is really busy, which makes it hard to get on Tumblr and update. I am planning on posting sometime soon with a more detailed look about my boyfriend, and his feelings recently, but I thought I should let you guys know a bit about what happened this weekend.

A few nights ago I went to dinner and a concert with some of my girlfriends. (For those of you wondering… Yes, Karissa was with me. I have no idea why some of you seem to like her so much… I’ve mentioned her twice… But there is number ree for all of you Karissa fans…) Not a big show or anything, just a small local bar/theater with a bunch of local bands. One of my other friends knew one of the guys in one band, but really the night was about going out with friends, not so much enjoying music. My boyfriend had to work in the morning, so he didn’t go out with me, but he knew I was going out, and told me to have fun with my friends. I drove myself to the restaurant for dinner, and met all my friends there. We had a good time. We stayed out late and had a bunch of drinks and listened to a couple bands at a small theater that was a few blocks away from the restaurant. Two of the bands were decent, one was really good, and one was pretty terrible.

It was just me and 3 other girls there, and we were all sitting around this smallish table to the side of the stage and listening to music and occasionally trying to talk a bit, but the music was pretty loud, so it was mostly just enjoying being out with each other and relaxing. I didn’t even drink that much really. I had three drinks all night, including the one at dinner before, so I was pretty sober the whole night. It was nice to just have a real girls night for a change. Made me even more convinced that this whole thing with my boyfriend would be so much easier if I had female wing-women to help me out, but I digress…

After one band played and they got off stage, two of the guys from the band went past our table towards the bar. At the time, I didn’t really think anything of it, and eventually another band got up to play, and the music continued. Well, turns out that these two guys from the first band that played had gone to the bar to get some drinks, and then decided to come pull up a couple chairs next to our table. Who could blame them, right? :)

Now, I’m not going to claim that my friends and I are all super models, but this wasn’t the first time that we’ve had guys come up to is in bars. It tends to happen in a college town, so we didn’t really think anything of it, and just sorta let the guys hang out for a while, because they were pretty harmless. They asked us if we liked their music, and we said yes to be polite, but really they were nothing amazing. So they hung out for a while making small talk, and actually really hitting on one of my friends pretty hard, but she wasn’t into it at all. Eventually, they decided to get a little gutsy, and asked “do you girls want to get high?”

My friends and I are all usually pretty straight laced. None of them really know about this cheating thing I have going on. When those guys asked us if we wanted to get high, my friends all sorta blew them off, because none of us really smoke regularly. My friend Jamie actually laughed a them and called them losers. So, these guys realized that they weren’t going to have any luck hanging out with this group of girls, and decided to get up and move on.

They left, but from the second that guy asked if we wanted to get high, all I could think about was the conversation my boyfriend and I had a waaaaaay long time ago about how he said he could picture me with a total pothead. These guys weren’t gorgeous, but they weren’t ugly either. I decided to investigate a bit further. I made up a lie, and told my friends I had to go to the bathroom. On the way there I grabbed a cocktail napkin from the bar. In the bathroom I got a pen from my purse and wrote a note on the napkin. I felt like taking a little risk… The entire reason for doing this was because of my boyfriend’s idea of me with a pothead guy. I wrote them a note.

“I want to get HIGH tonight. Don’t tell my friends”. I wrote my name down, and my phone number.

I left the bathroom and walked the long way around the bar back to our table, past the table that these two guys were sitting at, with who I assumed to be the other two guys in their band, or maybe some friends, I couldn’t really tell. I gave them a nod, and handed them the napkin, and kept walking.

Holy cow, even just doing that was fun. Something totally unlike me, and I loved it.

I sat down at the table with my friends, and I was already really curious as to where the night was going to be headed. The guys never came back toward our table, and my friends never mentioned them again. About an hour later, I got a text, from some number I didn’t have in my phone. “We are leaving, come over if you want” and he included an address.

Just about then, I unfortunately got a really bad sick to my stomach feeling. It was really unfortunate. Maybe it was just butterflies? Nah… It was definitely something it ate… For sure… My friends were all really sorry for me and told me the understood, and that we would catch up again later, and the last band was almost done anyway, so I told them I was going to skip out a bit early.

I left, and called back the number that texted me as I walked the few blocks back to my car. I told the guy I was on my way, and that I would be there in 15 min. I was super nervous when I got there. I didn’t know how far I was willing to go here, but I told myself that there would be no sex because one, I hadn’t told my bf about it first, and two, I had no idea who this guy was. But, that didn’t mean I couldn’t show some interest if things played out right. Really, it was pretty crazy. I’ve never gone over to a strangers house before. I don’t know why I was willing to this time. I just wanted to give it a try, and see what happened.

They let me in, and there were 5 other people there, and after a round of introductions and another round of drinks, The guy from the band broke out a pipe and lighter, and proceeded to pass it around. I found out his name was Kyle, and… Shocker here… He hadn’t graduated yet, even though he is 26. I would be lying if I said I was completely comfortable here, but I went for it. I smoked. And then I smoked some more, and got high. I passed the pipe, talked a bit. Told them I had just graduated, and took another hit to celebrate. I got higher. I told them I had just gotten a new job, and took another hit to celebrate that… I can honestly say that I have never even been as close to being that high before. I drank more, and smoked more, and proceeded to make a couple new friends in the process. My new pothead friends… Just like my bf wanted. You might think I was stupid for doing that, and you are probably not wrong… But I had fun. Thank God I don’t have to pass d**g tests for my job. :)

I was good. I didn’t have sex that night. Had this been me a year or so ago, I probably would have stayed the night with Kyle behind my boyfriends back, but I didn’t. I did, however, get too high to drive, so I had to leave my car at his house and take a cab home.

It was a fun night. Totally unlike “me”. That’s what my bf wants. When I told him about this, he loved it. He couldn’t believe me. He loved that I would do that on a random Friday night, with random people, just because I knew I could, and that he wouldn’t be upset. He asked me what this guy’s name was, and I told him not to worry about it, we could just call him the Band Guy. I still haven’t told him that this guy was named Kyle. He even said that he wouldn’t have blamed me if I wanted to sleep with Band Guy. But I told him that I wouldn’t do anything without him knowing, and I also told him I needed to get to know somebody more than just a few hours before they get into my pants.

So… That is my update. Sorry for the relative non-sexiness of this one, but that’s what’s new with me lately. I should be careful though… Too many more nights like that and I could develop a bit of a habit.


Text from the Band Guy

Sooo… I just got this text from the pothead band guy:

“Hey, we have another show tomorrow night at [random bar]. You should come!”

What do you guys think? Go? What is my move here? Answer quick. :)


The Show’s a Go!

Ok, it’s a go! I’m going to the show tonight. I have to hurry and get ready after work. My bf is cool with it. We talked a lot last night about all kinds of stuff. I’ll update as soon as I can! This could be fun. :)


Not Quite a Groupie… Yet.

Well, that was pretty convincing. After I asked all of you guys what I should do about the invite to the show on Thursday night, I got about 20 responses: I think 18 of them were some variation of “yes, go!” 1 was “go if you feel comfortable” and 1 was “I’ll hate you if you don’t go”. Sooo, I’m going to say that was pretty much unanimous.

After I posted that quick text from Kyle last night, I called my boyfriend to see what he thought about me going to the show. In all honesty, he was totally ok with it, and thought it was a great idea - it was more me who was a little hesitant. We talked for a long time on the phone last night. Probably about 2 hours or something. I told him what I was thinking, and he did the same. In the interest of brevity, I’ll distill it down to the important parts:

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go alone. See, this is the exact thing I was talking about needing a wing-woman for. If I had a friend who knew about this little arrangement between me and my bf, it would have been perfect… Go to a bar with her, listen to some music, size some of the guys up, and then see if I want to take it any further, then I have the option, and I wouldn’t feel obligated to stay if I didn’t feel comfortable. But as unanimous as the vote was to go to the concert, it was nearly as unanimous against outright telling any of my friends about this side of my life too. People speaking from experience all seemed to recommend against it. Since some of you know a lot better than I do about this stuff, I figured that I was take your advice, and shelve the “tell a friend” idea. At least for a while. I still totally want the wing woman… I just have no idea how that happens. I suppose we will have to just wait and see.

Ok, so back to the talk with my boyfriend… He totally loved the idea of me going out alone to see the band play again. I asked him why he was so thrilled with me going out without anybody I know, to hang out with a guy I don’t really know, and possibly taking it further than it went last time? I was expecting him to say something along the lines of him finding it hot that I would be willing to go “date” somebody I had just met, without even really knowing anything about him. What he actually answered was something that really made me think.

He said that for him, he wanted to know that me doing this kind of stuff along with him was fun for me too. He said that he wanted me to be comfortable, and not to feel any pressure from him to make the kind of decisions that I thought he might want me to. He wants me to be able to go out when I want, where I want, with whomever I want, and do whatever I want, and feel comfortable with myself, and not feel like I’m under pressure to do anything for his benefit. He said he wanted to make sure that I knew that he wanted this whole thing… whatever you want to call it… To be about me, and me having fun and enjoying myself.

That made me pause for a minute. Really? He wants it to be about me having fun? Does he think that me getting pretty much all the sex I want wasn’t fun for me? Did he think that when I go to see Brandon, that I have a BAD time? I told him that the fun in this for me so far was the two worlds that I get to experience. The loving, playful, take you home to see my parents side of things that he brought, and the dirty, use-me, naughty, secret side of things that I got from Brandon. And honestly, it is starting to really pique my interest when those two worlds hover so precariously close to each other, without colliding. Case in point- Karissa’s Halloween Party, and being there, in that environment, with only me knowing about the complete extent of the things happening. Not my friends, not Brandon, not even my boyfriend. It’s a power trip. I like it.

I asked him a question then: how is this fun for you? He told me what makes this fun for him is seeing me gain that self confidence, that power, and the knowledge that I’m not going to do anything that would make him dump me. I asked him if he was scared about what could happen, and he said yes, he was absolutely scared, but that was part of the reason he wanted this. I didn’t understand that, but he told me that being afraid of all the “what-ifs” actually makes him want me to do this more. I am sitting here trying to write this for all of you, but really, I don’t even come close to understanding his motivations for this. If anybody can fill me in on why you would want something that you are afraid of, please do…

So, he wants this? Ok, I’m up for giving it a shot, even if I don’t know exactly what I am doing here. That being said, I still had Jiminey Cricket on my shoulder telling me to be careful, and not go to a place I don’t know, with people I don’t really know, without anybody that I know along with me. So… I came to a compromise - or rather - I made a decision, and told him what was going to happen.

I told him that I would go to the concert, but that he was going to go too, and that he was going to drive me. As soon as we got there, he drops me off, and I go in while he parks, then he comes inside. From there on, we don’t know each other, we’ve never met each other, and he isn’t allowed to talk to me, or text me, or do anything involving me without me starting it first, unless he feels that I am in physical danger or something crazy. He gets to watch. That’s it. If I don’t get a wing woman, I’ll make do with a bodyguard at a distance. He agreed…. even though I had already decided everything, and he didn’t get much say.

I texted Kyle as I was getting off work on Thursday afternoon. I just said “hey, thanks for the invite, I’m going to come!” And he simply wrote back “cool, see you there”.

I thought about wearing the little black dress I bought a while ago. When I pulled it out, and had it laying on my bed, he was giddy. But then I remembered two things: 1- it is goddamn cold out right now, and I don’t want to wear a dress and heels in 10 degree weather, and 2- I had already told him it wasn’t for him to see, it was for somebody else. So, I put it back in my closet and went more casual, and wore some tight jeans, boots, a cute green sweater and a brown scarf. We ate some dinner quickly after I got ready, and got in his car. He was excited to go, and kept asking me stupid questions like “is their band any good?” “What instrument does he play?” “Where do you want to sit?” I told him to shut up, and wait, and he would find out everything soon enough. I’m sure it was just his nerves, and trying to calm himself, but I didn’t really want to paint some picture for him that may or may not be what happened, so I intentionally gave him really vague answers.

He stopped on the side of the road in front of this bar, and I got out. Before I closed the door, I asked him one more time if he was ok with this, and he nodded. (Of course he said yes. I always offer him an out, he has yet to take me up on it. Maybe I shouldn’t bother asking next time.) I said “OK, bye stranger” and closed the door, and walked towards the bar door.

The music started at 7, but there were three bands playing. Kyle’s band was number 2. When I got to the door, they were charging a cover. For real. On a Thursday night. Lame. Whatever, it was just $10, so I paid, and got in. When I walked in, it was about 6:50, and I couldn’t have felt more awkward. I didn’t know anybody, I had never been to the bar before or anything. I didn’t even see Kyle, or the guys from his band. So I just grabbed a stool at a high table that was near the bar, took off my coat and hung it on a post that was nearby, and ordered myself a drink. The stage was set up on the same side of the bar that I was sitting in, but there was a big space between the tables and the stage. I’m guessing to give people room to dance if they wanted. It was a pretty big bar actually. I had heard of that place having live music and local bands before, but had never been there. There were quite a few people there. Probably somewhere close to 100, which i think is a decent turnout for small local bands.

I didn’t see my boyfriend come in. I looked around for him a couple times, but didn’t see him at all. So I figured that he must have been doing a pretty good job of staying at a distance and watching. I was actually getting annoyed, because I was just hanging out drinking alone. The first band was ok, but not really my style. When they finished heir couple of songs, I felt like a complete idiot… Turns out that two of the guys from Kyles band were sitting at a table right up near the stage, and I had just totally not recognized them at all. They got up and went up on stage, and started moving in and out various instruments from the first band. I finally saw Kyle. He was setting up stuff on stage, and it guess he had been backstage or something during the first band. He didn’t see me, so I just hung out for a bit. After about 10 min of setting stuff up (I don’t really know a lot about music) they started playing.

Still no sight of my boyfriend. Still no eye contact with Kyle. Well screw this, I decided I was going to remedy the situation. I picked up my drink, and took a few steps up towards the stage. There are 4 people in Kyles band, a drummer, a singer, and two guitars. Kyle plays one of the guitars. It took me a while to get his attention. Finally, after they finished with a song, he looked up, and I saw him. He smiled and gave me one of those “hey, what’s up” head nods. That was enough, he knew I was there. I stayed out on the dance floor for a while, sipping my vodka-cran and nodding along to myself while watching them play, casually shuffling around a little, and trying to maintain eye contact as much as possible. I could almost feel my boyfriend staring at me from somewhere in the bar. Didn’t matter. I was doing my best to eye-fuck the guy up on stage.

Kyle’s band is decent. Not the best I’ve ever heard, but far from the worst. They play their own music, no covers, which is both cool and sucks. It’s cool that they play their own stuff and they are creative, but it makes it hard for a first timer in the audience to sing along. I had fun. I danced a little, got myself another drink, did some more smiling, listened to a few more songs… They probably played about 3 or 4 more songs after that point, and it was actually a little relieved when they were done playing. I finally got the chance to go up and talk to him as they were moving their instruments off the stage to get ready for the third band.

When I came up to Kyle, his eyes lit up, and he got excited, gave me a hug, (sweet) and thanked me for coming. He asked me if I liked the show, and I told him yeah, I totally did, and told him that they were really good. That might have been a little bit of flattery, but it wasn’t an outright lie. He asked me who I came with, and I told him I rode the bus, and didn’t bring any friends, because it might be weird if I asked them to come to a show for the same band that we had just saw earlier in the week. “Plus,” I said, “I never told them that I left the last show to go get high with you”. He laughed, and told me that I should come hang out with him and his friends… So I agreed.

I got my coat, and told the waitress that I was going to join the other table, and she said that was fine, so I joined the band at the same table that the two other guys had left before the band played. As it turns out, that table, and the 4 people at the table right next to them were all friends. So… I hung out. I made friends. I introduced myself, I sat next to Kyle and asked him about the band, how long they had been playing, and all sorts of similar silly conversation starter questions as the ones I wouldn’t answer for my boyfriend earlier in the night. Kyle answered them all.

I told him that I was glad he invited me, because I had no plans at all that night, and was looking for something to do. He told me that I should come to their shows more often. I told him I would. One of the other girls at the table - (I think her name was Tracy, or Stacy, or Lacy, or something similar - it was hard to hear) asked me how I knew Kyle. I told her the truth… We just met last week, and he invited me over to his house to get high. It was kinda liberating to tell the truth. She just laughed. I met the other members of his band too. The lead singer’s name is Chris. He didn’t stick around to smoke after the show last week, so I didn’t recognize him earlier. He shook my hand and thanked me for coming. I told him I liked the band, and would definitely come to more shows. They were all really cool. I did, however, have one embarrassing moment… I asked them why they had two guitars in the band. I guess there is a distinction between guitar and bass. I didn’t know the difference, but the guy that played guitar made sure that I knew he was the guitar player, Kyle played bass… Duh. I guess I should have probably known that, but like I said, I know next to nothing about music. It was cool though. He wasn’t a dick or anything about it, and we all had a good laugh about it. Kyle said he would teach me the difference sometime. I told him I’d let him.

I didn’t feel as out of place as I had at the beginning of the night. I looked around the bar for my boyfriend. I finally saw him, for the first time all night. He was sitting at the far end of the bar, by himself, with a beer, and just watching me. I leaned in to Kyle (had to get close - it was hard to hear) and told him that he had awesome friends. My friends totally frown on getting high and having fun. He said that getting high and having fun were two of his favorite things. I told him I thought we could probably be friends.

At the end of the show, I was ready to go home with him. If he would have said, “let’s go get high and fuck” I would have done it in a heartbeat. I wanted him to ask. He didn’t. I thought maybe I should ask him… But I didn’t either. I was craving it. I wanted it, but for some reason, I couldn’t get over the mental hurdle of asking him to take me home with him. The only thing I did manage to ask him was to give me a ride home, so I didn’t have to take the bus. He agreed, and I Got a ride home from him. Thursday night? Really? Why oh why did it have to be a Thursday night? Why did I have to work in the morning? I told myself that was the problem on the way home. That damn cricket on my shoulder telling me to be responsible. So I brought it up as we were getting closer to my house… I thanked him again for the ride, and the invitation. And then I apologized… I told him that if it wasn’t a work night, I would totally love to stay out later with him. He smiled and said he would love to hang out more with me. I told him absolutely.

He dropped me off at my house. Screw it. I leaned over and kissed him before I got out of the car. He smiled and asked what that was for. I told him I had a great time, and thought he was awesome, but I had to get some sleep. I told him that if it wasn’t a Thursday night, I would be inviting him inside. I wanted him to know I was interested and willing, just not some crazy slut. He grinned. He said he’d call me. I started walking inside, and screamed at myself. I didn’t want a repeat of What happened with “nice-guy” Matt. I turned around and walked back toward the car. He rolled down the window and I said, “look, I don’t want to lead you on at all, I’m not looking for any kind of lasting or meaningful relationship, I just want to hang out, smoke pot and have fun with you. Is that cool?” He laughed again and answered “hey, smoking pot and having fun are two of my favorite things, remember?”

“Good”. I leaned into his car and kissed him again. He smiled, and I turned and walked to my door.

I went inside.

I think I found guy number three. I didnt fuck him yet. But I’m going to.


salm70 asked:
How much sex does your boyfriend get?

He usually gets sex about once a week or so. I haven’t decided if that is too much or too little yet.


Time to be Thankful

So, after the whole show and ride home from Kyle a while ago, I was pretty sure that I had found guy number three. I had talked to my boyfriend on the phone that night, and told him that I had kissed Kyle twice, but that I couldn’t invite him in. He asked my why I didn’t, and I told him that it was because of those damn responsibilities at work. We are trying to finish up a project and get it approved before everybody starts to take long vacations for the holidays, and I really couldn’t afford to stay up all night in bed with this guy and miss work.

When I was telling my boyfriend is on the phone after Kyle had dropped me off, I asked him what he was doing. I’m sure you all can guess. Usually, when I am telling him about what I have done with other guys, I give him a hand job. I mentioned this a while ago, in one post, and have been doing it almost every time since. I feel like it’s sexy, he likes it, and I love seeing his reaction when I say different things. But he was doing that for himself that night. I didn’t think that was fair. I told him to stop. He groaned and mumbled a little bit and made some remark about how that wasn’t fair. I told him that if I didn’t get to finish, than neither did he. After a little more whining, he agreed to stop and told me that he wouldn’t start again when we hung up the phone. I don’t really know if he did or not, but it was empowering to make him stop while he was on the phone with me. Eventually we hang up, and I went to bed to get enough sleep for work the next day, even though I was throughly unsatisfied.

Needless to say, it was hard to concentrate on work on Friday. I was horny all day, and was having an internal debate with myself on whether or not I should just call Kyle and ask him out that weekend. On one hand, I wanted to make sure he knew I was interested, on the other hand, I didn’t want to look like needy-******r-groupie-chick. I didn’t know what to do… But about 3:00 or so, e decision was made for me. I got a text from Kyle:

“Hey, happy Thanksgiving, hope I get to see you again soon” -Perfect. He was interested, he started the contact, all if have to do now is set a time, right? So I answered him back. “Yeah, totally, you want to grab a drink tomorrow somewhere?” He didn’t answer right away, and I had to go to a meeting. It was a relatively short meeting, but I couldn’t concentrate. My phone chirped at me while I was sitting at a conference table with my team and my boss. I knew it was him. It took every ounce of my self control not to look at a text in e middle of this meeting. Probably a good career decision. The meeting finally got out, and I read his text as I was walking down the hall in my office.

“Sorry, I can’t, I’m leaving in 2 hours to go home for the week”

Shit! I didn’t expect that. At first I felt a little rejected, but the more I ought about it, he more it made perfect sense. Kyle hasn’t graduated yet - he is still in classes, and the University didn’t have classes all Thanksgiving week. Of course he would go home on Friday evening to be with his family. I just hadn’t ever expected that. Never even crossed my mind. So… Then I moved on from a feeling of rejection to one of challenge. I texted him back:

“Damn, I was hoping to see you before Thanksgiving, I was hoping I could ask you a favor”

I didn’t know what favor I needed. I didn’t have anything in particular I wanted to ask for, I pretty much just said that so he would text me back… Which he did, about 5 min later.

“Oh yeah? What’s up?”

Crap… Now I had to come up with something… I just said the first thing that popped into mind.

“I was wondering if maybe I could get some stuff from you for Thanksgiving”. As soon as I hit send, I started kicking myself… It was a stupid answer. I didn’t even know what it meant. Why the hell did I say that? What Courtney, you want him to bake you some damn cookies or something? Do you need to borrow a carving knife? Idiot.

“I have some edibles you can have if you want”

Yes, that’s it! That’s totally what I meant, yes, I need d**gs, that’s what I want, not something silly like cookies or something equally as c***dish… d**gs, duh.

“I get off in an hour, can I meet you somewhere? I’ll pay you.”

Time out for a minute here. I’m a 23 year old in a college town. Finding or getting d**gs is not hard. If I wanted anything, I have about 5 or 6 different routes of getting them. I didn’t really even want them, I just wanted to use it as an excuse to see him, so I ran with it.

“I’m leaving in about 20 min, can you meet me somewhere then?”

I looked at the clock, and it was about 4:15. Twenty minutes makes it 4:35, and if I wanted to meet him, that meant I had to leave work soon. Screw it, let’s do this.

“Sure, where do you want to meet?”

“How about the Starbucks on [X] and [Y]?”

That was about 15 min away. I had to leave right then. I saved some stuff on my computer, grabbed my purse, turned off my light, and stuck my head in my boss’ office quickly to tell him I was going to try to beat e traffic. He just waved and said “have a good one”. Cool boss.

I texted Kyle back and told him I was on my way, and started driving across town. While I was driving, I realized two things… One, 4:25 on a Friday afternoon before a holiday doesn’t mean you are going to beat the traffic. It was painfully slow. And two - I hadn’t told my boyfriend that I was meeting Kyle at all. He didn’t know anything. It was strangely liberating. I would have been more excited, if I hadn’t been stuck in all that damn traffic. I got another text from Kyle:

“Are you close? I have to go soon”

Shit! “Yeah, I’ll be there in 2 min!”

I was there in 10 min. I saw Kyles car in the back of the lot, and parked right beside him.

I got out of the car, and Kyle was sitting there still waiting for me in his car, so I sat in his passenger seat, right where I had kissed him the night before. I apologized for being late. He said not to worry about it, and held out a plastic bag with two things that looked like Tootsie Rolls in them. Edible THC. I asked him how much to take, he said to start with 1/8th of one, and then go up from there if I wanted. I asked him how much he wanted for them, and he told me not to worry about it, he had to get going.

Oh no. That wasn’t going to fly… I got that same feeling that I had earlier… The challenge, the heat, the rush of being with another guy who I knew almost nothing about… He said that I should consider it a thank you gift for coming to the show. I told him that the thank you gift was the ride home, and that I owed him for the d**gs now. He smiled and just laughed it off… Fine. Here goes nothing…

I looked right at him, and reached over towards his crotch, and grabbed him through his jeans. He was obviously surprised, because he grabbed my wrist and said “are you serious? Right here?” I just smiled at him and said “if you really need to get going, just tell me to stop”

He didn’t tell me to stop. I thanked him properly. Yes, that actually happened. I sucked cock in a parking lot for d**gs. There is something that I never thought I’d say. Wouldn’t my friends be proud of me now? I don’t know why I did it. It isn’t like me at all. I have literally never done that before. It was a total heat of the moment thing. There were a hundred reasons for me not to do that… But I did anyway. Now, because I know you all will ask, yes, he has a pretty decent cock. And yes, I did let him finish.

When he was done, I smiled at him, cleaned up a little, and thanked him again. I got out of his car, and he gave me a nod as he was driving away. I sorta interpreted that as being a “damn girl, you are freaky” kind of nod. I could feel myself blushing almost immediately, and had to get in my own car and drive away. I was panicked that somebody might have seen, and called the cops on me. The whole way home I was looking in my rear view mirror for flashing lights. Never saw any.

I didn’t say a word to my boyfriend about it. I wanted to keep it a secret. I knew I would tell him eventually, but I wanted it to be fun… So I waited.

On Wednesday, I got off work and went over to my bf’s house. His family had invited us to spend Thanksgiving with them this year, so we drove down to their place, and stayed there Wednesday night. On Thursday, while his mom was in the kitchen cooking, about 20 minutes before we were going to eat, I pulled him into the guest room where we were staying, and pulled out the little bag of Tootsie Rolls. He asked what they were… I said “They are edibles… It’s Thanksgiving, I’m going to eat them.” I bit one… In half. A little more than Kyle had recommended. Then I told him not to touch them, they were mine. He asked me where I got them. I told him “that fucking hot bassist from that band last week”, (I still haven’t told him Kyle’s name) and I left the room while he stood there with his jaw on the floor.

Dinner was… Interesting. I ate a lot. More than I normally do, for sure. Maybe, just maybe the munchies got the better of me. Wow. I was really high. No wonder Kyle said 1/8… Good thing I had only eaten 4x too much… The whole time at dinner, I was sitting there with my boyfriends family, and he was right next to me… He knew I was high, I knew I was high… I am assuming that his family just thought I had too much wine… Oh Courtney… She’s such a sweet girl… (They love me) After we ate, I had to sleep. When I get really high like that, I eat, then sleep. It’s just how I am. I blamed it on the food c***, but told them to wake me up for dessert later.

The rest of the weekend was pretty tame, until my bf and I got home to my place last night. I asked him if he wanted to hear the real story of how I got those edibles.

He didn’t last five minutes. He lost it all over my hand when I asked him “Are you thankful that your prim and proper girlfriend is turning into a little stoner slut?”

I’m going to fuck Kyle this week… I’m already antsy.


December 2014

Anonymous asked:
What turns you on the most about Kyle? Maybe describe him a bit more.

Hes pretty cute, in sort of a goofy way. He’s pretty tall, with shaggy brown hair and one he’ll of a nice jaw line. He had big brown eyes and a pretty trim body to go with it.

But what I think I liked most about him, from the beginning, was how he came up to that table that all my friends and I were sitting at, and started the conversation that eventually led us to where we are now. Confidence is super sexy.


And Then There Were Three

Hey everybody, how was your week? Mine was pretty interesting…

Ever since the Friday before Thanksgiving, I was antsy, I knew I wanted to see Kyle again ASAP, I just didn’t know when that would be. On Wednesday night, after I got off work, I went home and called my boyfriend to come over. When he got here, I told him what I wanted to do. I didn’t ask him if it was ok. I am going to try to stop doing that. I feel like if he is uncomfortable with anything, he will have to say so; if he doesn’t speak up, I’m not going to ask for permission anymore.

I told him to sit down on the couch and wait for me. When he did, I went and grabbed my phone, scrolled down through my contacts, and changed Kyle’s name to “Pothead”. I did it because my bf still doesn’t know Kyle’s name. I don’t know why I haven’t told him… It’s just a name, but for some reason I feel like it makes Kyle more of a stranger to him. I want to see what he does if his girlfriend is going to be with someone who’s name he doesn’t even know. It’s a little bit of a thrill for me, and I think for him too…

So anyway, I came back with my phone and handed it to him. I told him that I wanted him to text the guy from the band. Just like he had with Brandon before. He asked me who to text, and I told him to scroll down through my contacts and find the right one, because it would be pretty embarrassing if my boyfriend accidentally invited some random guy from one of my classes or something over to his girlfriends place to fuck her…

He had no idea… Just started asking me about the guys names in my contact list in alphabetical order as he scrolled down. He started to get a little anxious… How the heck was he supposed to know who to text?? Every time he asked me about a name, I just sort of shrugged and said:

“Maybe… Why don’t you text him and ask him for a booty call?” Or “do you think HE would come over tonight?”

He didn’t know what to do… I wouldn’t give him any guidance. He was getting a little scared that I was going to make him send a text to somebody, without making sure it was the right person. (What if he texted my cousin or something?) He was freaking out a little until he got to the “Ps” and saw “pothead” and seemed to actually be relieved to have some sort of hint. “Is it pothead? It’s pothead, isn’t it Court?”

I answered him back… Sly, but I wanted him to know that was right. “What kind of stoner slut would text some random pothead for a hook up on a Wednesday night?”

He smiled, relieved. Trusting that this was the number he was supposed to text. Ok, what do you want me to say? So I made him have a conversation with a guy he didn’t know on my phone, about a casual hook up…

Me: hey, just wanted to tell you that those edibles were way stronger than I thought

Pothead: how much did you take?

Me: about half

Pothead: that’s too much to start with. You should go with 1/8. Thought I told you that.

Me: you did, I was just feeling adventurous.

Pothead: did you get sick?

Me: no just really high and passed out.

Pothead: not too bad then.

Me: I’ll be fine. When is the next show?

Pothead: not this Friday, but the one after at [xyz]. (Yes! A Friday night show!)

Me: cool, mind if I come?

Pothead: do you want to come?

Pothead: yeah sure that’s cool!

Me: awesome. Am I going to get to see you before then?

(By this time, I was sitting next to my boyfriend on the couch, with my hand down his pants, making him read to me, and type back to Kyle as I played with him)

Pothead: sure, we could hang out sometime

Me: what are you doing tonight? Want to come over? (My bf was squirming by now)

Pothead: I was just going to stay home and watch the hockey game. You want to come over here? You remember where it is, right?

(I had planned to have Kyle over to my house, and do the whole thing with making my boyfriend take down all the pictures of him again, but that invite changed things. I thought for a minute about what that might entail. It would almost surely be sex, but I didn’t know what else. I improvised.)

Me: yeah sure, I could watch some hockey. Can I bring some food too? How about a pizza?

Pothead: sure, that would work. I just had pizza for lunch, but a burrito would be pretty killer.

Me: 1 hour?

Pothead: sounds good.

I made my boyfriend put down my phone. I stopped fondling him and stood up in front of him while he was still sitting down. I leaned over and kissed him and said “thanks for getting me a date. I should get ready, want to help me?”

He jumped at the chance, and walked to my room with a tent in his pants. I laid down on my bed, and told him to pick out something he thought I should wear. He went to my closet, and immediately pulled out the little black dress that I had bought earlier. Tempting… But I told him no. He wasn’t allowed to see me in it first, and who wears a little black dress to go watch hockey and eat a burrito? He put it back, and started going through my clothes again. Apparently he wanted me to look like a tramp. I wasn’t ready to go that far yet. Halter top and a skirt? When it’s 27 degrees outside? Tank top and yoga pants? Oh please. I want to be the fun, easy going, party girl, FWB with Kyle, not a needy whore.

Eventually he pulled out a tight gray sweater, and black pants. I thought that was acceptable enough, and asked him what I should wear underneath. He loved that. He picked out a black matching bra and thong combo on the first try. Good work. I was ok with the thong, because I figured that if Kyle got to see the thong, we were going to be at the point of no return anyway. So I took the clothes into my bathroom (just to tease him a little more) to get dressed. Before I came out of the bathroom, I made sure to tug the thong waist bands up as high as I could on my hips, and I made sure the pants sat as low as possible. When I came out of the bathroom, he was sitting on my bed with his hand down his pants. I told him to stop - I wasn’t done yet. He did. I reached my hands up above my head and stretched… My sweater lifted enough for him to see the thong. Mission accomplished. “Think he’ll like this?” He groaned and fell face first into my bed.

I picked out my own shoes. Fun, casual, but still a little flirty. A pair of Black and tan wedges that are easy to walk in. I looked at the clock… Had to get going, I had a date in 35 min and I needed to get some food first.

“Oh, hey, before I go, I wanted to tell you a couple things… First, you are staying here tonight. It’s fine if you sleep in my bed.” He asked why. I told him that I wanted him to be surrounded by things that remind him of me, but know at the same time that he’s giving me away. He groaned, I smiled. “And also, I have no idea how far this might go tonight, so will you be sure to put a few of these in my purse for me please?” And I opened my bedside table drawer where he keeps his condoms when he stays the night, and tossed him a half full box. I don’t thin I have ever heard him groan like he did then. Hot. He got up, and went out to my purse, and I took a look in the mirror, took a deep breath, and walked out of my room, gave him a soft little kiss, and left.

I hurried to get food, and was probably a little less than polite because it took what seemed like forever to get two dang burritos to go. Whatever. By he time I got back in my car, I was supposed to be at Kyle’s house in about 10 minutes. Luckily, it wasn’t that far away, and it wasn’t a holiday weekend with traffic. I got there, grabbed the food, and he let me in.

The game was already on. I don’t know that much about hockey, but I will watch it if it’s on. I always have a hard time watching the puck because it moves so fast. Kyle had some beer, and we literally just hung out, ate our burritos, and watched the game. We talked about Thanksgiving break… He apologized for not warning me more forcefully about the strength of those edibles… He tried to explain a few hockey things to me… And then after we ate, he asked me if I wanted to try those edibles again.

What kind of stoner slut turns down pot when it’s offered? ;) I only ate 1/8th this time. Oh yeah… Much more mellow high. Still functional, pleasant, have fun high. I didn’t feel like I immediately had to pass out like I did at my bf’s house on Thanksgiving. Just one little problem though… Watching hockey is even harder when you are high… I couldn’t follow anything. I didn’t really care though, I was having fun, and I was getting hornier by the second. Eventually I gave up on hockey. Don’t even know what the score was, couldn’t tell you who was winning… I asked him to show me his guitar… “Bass”. Right… Bass, that’s what I meant.

He picked it up, plugged it in, and showed me a few things. I asked him to tell me about their songs… What did they mean? Who were they about? He sold me that they all wrote music, sometimes they sucked, sometimes they meshed together to make a song, sometimes they were about real people, sometimes they were about life, sometimes they were completely made up. I asked him if he could write a song about the proper dosage for a Cheeba Chew? He laughed.

Time to cut to the chase… I asked him “so did you just invite me over for a burrito and hockey, or was there something else you were interested in?” He laughed, and even blushed a little bit. I felt like I was hunting…

I wanted to take it a little further… “Well, I’ve been dropping hints for 2 weeks now. I don’t know what more you need…”

That was enough. I think if we ever were in a court of law and they had a recording of me saying that, they would would be absolutely no disputing what I was implying. He didn’t need any more encouragement. He put down his bass, and walked right up and kissed me. He is a good kisser. Not too forceful, not too soft, not too wet, not too dry. I tugged at his belt, and it was go time. He led me back to his room by my hand.

His room was surprisingly clean for a guy that is still in college, smokes pot and plays in a band. I know that is a stereotype, but I remember thinking that when I first walked in. It is completely irrelevant though. We made out on his bed for a good long time. Did I mention that he’s a good kisser? After a while, the clothes started coming off. It was a lot of fun. He went down on me… He said it was to return the favor from in the car earlier. I wasn’t in a position to argue. It was hot. He got on top of me, and was kissing my neck when I felt him between my legs.

I had a moment of panic, I shouldn’t let this happen like this… I told him to wait. He asked me what was wrong, and if I wanted to stop. I told him no - not to stop, I just needed a second… And in that second, I made myself get up, go run out to the living room (naked) and grab my purse for the condoms. I ran back into his room and said “I’m sorry… Just to be safe, ok?” He smiled, and said he didn’t mind - he was just glad I wasn’t leaving. He took one, opened it, and then we were right back to it.

It was a weird feeling. This was the only guy I’ve been with other than my bf and Brandon for a very, very long time. It was new and exciting again. Not soft and gentle like my boyfriend, not rough and dirty like Brandon… It was new, it was fun… I don’t know how to describe it, other than saying it was friend-sex. It was fun, it was exciting, and it lasted a really long time. I was happy, I was relaxed, and he made me cum multiple times. Kyle has some stamina!

When we finally finished, and recovered, and went at it again, and finished again, I looked at the clock. Holy shit, it was 1:15! How did it get so late? I was tired, and so was he. When he asked me if I wanted to crash there, I took him up on his invitation.

I set my phone alarm an hour earlier than normal, so I could go home, change, and make it to work on time on Thursday morning. I was so quiet, I didn’t even wake my boyfriend up. He stayed there, sleeping in my bed, and I changed, and quickly got back out the door.

Thursday was rough at work. 4 hours of sleep will do that to you.

I’m already looking forward to next Friday’s show. :)


Anonymous asked:
Wow. Way to be a huge slut. I hate girls like you.

The haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate…

I’m just gonna shake shake shake shake shake - shake it off Shake it off.

:)

Maybe I am Taylor.


Update Soon!

Big update coming soon guys. This was a crazy week, topped off with a crazy Friday night. I have a draft in the works… I will post ASAP. It might even include a little Christmas present for all you followers… ;) I just have to get some things done before I can sit down and type this whole thing out. Patience will be worth it, I promise.


Insane Friday Part 1

This update is taking me so long to get through, we are going to break it into multiple parts…

After I hooked up with Kyle last week, my boyfriend went crazy. Not bad crazy, just like super horny all the time, and always trying to get me into bed. I’m almost sure it was because I told him I had sex, but I didn’t tell him the details like I usually do. I told him I would, but I didn’t tell him when. Of course he was horny. I liked the attention, and it finally worked for him too on Monday night. But, it wasn’t our “normal” sex. By that I mean it wasn’t our typical face-to-face, missionary sex. I didn’t want to let that happen. I went into full tease mode with my boyfriend. He hated it, and loved it. Once we were eventually naked, I wouldn’t let him be on top. I rode him, but I wouldn’t let him grab my hips, or use his hands at all. I held his hands down above his head with mine, and I teased him by rolling my hips around his cock while straddling him, but not letting him inside me at all. I told him about how bad of a girlfriend I was… How I got high with, and fucked a guy who’s name he didn’t even know… I asked him if he was still sure he wanted me to fuck other guys… I asked him if he liked the fact that his little sweetheart was a secret stoner slut… All his answers were low moans, or a whispered “yes” through clenched teeth, or something very similar. There was lots of moaning and panting on his part, but no penetration.

I was planning on letting him fuck me eventually that night, to thank him for being so good while I was out, but then I got a dirty idea. I decided to continue with it, and see if I could get him to finish without being inside me at all. I leaned down, over top of him, just a few inches from his face, and told him I wanted him to tell me what he did at my place while I was with Kyle. I’m sure you can guess. He seemed shy. He seemed timid. I stopped moving my hips and stared down at him. He practically begged me not to stop grinding on him. I told him that I would keep going as long as he keeled telling me about his night. Slow circles with my hips again. He told me at when I left, he was anxious. He told me he was horny. He tried to calm himself down. He paced around, he tried to watch TV. Still no penetration, still no hands.

I asked him what he thought I was doing at that time. He said he thought I was maybe showing the pothead guy my thong. (I was probably watching hockey and eating a burrito, but I let him continue). He said next he thought that I probably gave this guy a striptease. (I didn’t, but I probably should have…) he was worked up. I asked him again… What was he doing while he thought about me being a dirty girlfriend? He admitted it then. He was jacking off. I knew that already, but I wanted to make him say it. I asked him how many times that night while I was gone. Four! - before he was too exhausted. I pinned him against his stomach while I straddled him, and started sliding up and down. Lots of friction and tension, still no penetration.

I wanted him to finish. I wanted to feel like I was in control of it for some reason. I asked him if he liked sharing his girlfriend with guys he didn’t even know. He moaned… I knew he was close by the sound of it. I decided to use the name thing again, to push him over the edge. I laid down on top of him, naked, with his cock pinned between us, put my mouth right beside his ear, and just whispered… “His name is Kyle”. Mission accomplished.

I spent the majority of this week being excited for Kyle’s next show. I was planning on wearing something cute, and doing my best to make sure that Kyle knew that I was cool with this becoming a more-than-once kind of thing. I knew my boyfriend loved it, so why not keep it going, right?

All that changed on Thursday. Thursday was a shitty day at work for me. I screwed something up, and it was totally my fault. I stayed late, kicking myself for being so dumb, and trying to fix it as best as I could. I called my boyfriend at about 4:30, and told him there was no way I was going to be off before like 7:00, so he should just plan on eating without me that night. He asked if there was anything I needed, or anything that he could do, but really there wasn’t anything that I could come up with, so I just told him that I would be home late, and if he could meet me with a bottle of wine, that would be great.

When I finally got home, he had the wine waiting. What a good boy. He asked me what happened, and told me it wasn’t my fault. But I didn’t want to hear any sympathy. Really, because it was entirely my fault. I was an idiot, I messed up, and I deserved to stay late to fix it. I was really angry at myself. He asked me if I wanted a back rub or something. “No - I don’t.” I thought about it for a while, and then I had an idea. I needed stress relief, and at the same time, I wanted to be punished, put in my place for doing something so stupid at work. I told him to get my phone, and I called Brandon. While he stood there and listened to me.

That’s exactly what I said to Brandon too, when he answered. We have sorta moved past the “friendly” conversation pieces of a standard conversation now. We both know why the other one is calling or texting. I told him I wanted him to punish me within about 10 seconds of him answering his phone. I asked if he could come over that night. He said “fuck Courtney, I can’t tonight, I’m at work until 11”. God damnit! Of course he was fucking working on the one night when I really wanted it. I thought for a second about asking him to come over anyway after work, but I knew that if he did, then we would end up in bed for the whole night, and I wouldn’t sleep at all. Not a good move, considering that I needed to be up and back at work early to fix my fuck up… “How about tomorrow?” I said yes in a half second, tomorrow would be fine, he could come over tomorrow after work, and put me in my place. It wasn’t until I hung up the phone with him that I realized that “tomorrow” was Friday, and that was Kyle’s show.

At first I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I thought about calling Brandon back and canceling… But who does that for a booty call? Then I thought that maybe I should just not go to the show, but that would be pretty shitty too, since I already told Kyle that I would be there. I went to bed on Thursday night not knowing what I was going to do with two “dates” in one night.

I got up early on Friday to go in to work. It took me a while to fix my problem, but by about lunch time I had got it pretty much fixed, and I was feeling like I wasn’t a complete failure at my job. I even finished everything a little early, and when I left work I was feeling pretty good about my job situation, but I hadn’t even thought about what would happen at night with Brandon or Kyle all day. I still wanted to “punish” myself, so before I even left the parking lot I texted Brandon and told him that I was leaving work. He said that he would meet me at my place.

I beat him to my place by no more than 5 minutes. It was such short notice that I didn’t have any time to change, and so I opened the door for him still in my work clothes. When he came inside, he had this look in his eye like he was angry about something. It sorta made me hot. He asked me why I called him and asked him to come put me in my place. I told him that work fucking sucked this week, and I just needed something “to distract me from the fact that work sucks and [bf] has a small cock”

Quick side not here… People have asked me about size comparisons between Brandon and my boyfriend before, and to be honest, they are pretty comparable. Brandon may be slightly bigger, but really not that much difference. The whole point of my comment to him was to make him think it was true. It worked. He laughed, and had that little sneer/smirk that he gave me way back at my graduation party. He asked me how long we had, and I had to come up with something quick to cover for the fact that I was going to the show later that night. So, I just said the first thing that popped into my head… I told him that we had about two hours before I was supposed to meet my boyfriend and his parents for dinner. Total lie, but I didn’t want him to question it, or try to convince me to back out of it. I just wanted him to punish me for fucking up at work. Apparently he was willing to comply.

He called me a “dirty little whore” and pushed me against the wall between my kitchen and living room, and started ******* me through my clothes. It felt good. It made me hot. I tore off his shirt and let him do the same for me. When he pulled my shirt off, his hand knocked a picture off the wall next to me. A picture of my bf and I on vacation together. I don’t think he even noticed it, but I did. Kinda fitting I guess. He went for my skirt next. He had no idea how to get it off. It has a clasp and a zipper on the back side… He figured out the zipper part, but when it wouldn’t fall off right away, he just yanked it. The clasp broke, and it popped open. For a second, I was pissed off… It was an expensive skirt. What a dick! This was my work skirt! I actually yelled at him a little and said “hey! I need that for work!”

Without missing a beat, he grabbed me by the jaw, looked right in my face and said “shut the fuck up.” Simple, brutal, right to the point, effective. I didn’t argue. I melted. That same Courtney that had the fire in her when Brandon snapped at me before was nowhere to be found this time. We didn’t even make it to the bedroom. I was on my knees and giving him head about 6 seconds after he said that. He enjoyed it for a while, before pulling me off and bending me over the back of my couch again. Thank goodness he had a condom in his pocket, because if he would have been persistent, I don’t know if I would have had the willpower to stop him.

When we met up on my birthday, I thought he slapped my ass a lot. I was wrong. On Friday, I learned that when I ask him to put me in my place, he can be even more rough. He literally had a fistful of my hair almost the entire two hours, and the other hand was either slapping my ass, or grabbing my hips. He threw me around my living room. Most of the time by my hair. God, that was hot. My ass was so red. He had me in probably 5 or six positions over the course of about an hour. Hands and knees, on my back on the floor, on my couch, even on my table… What an a****l. I couldn’t help myself, I came multiple times. He called me a slut, and a whore, and a cheap skank. He was so rough, that by the time he was ready to finish, I had tears in my eyes. He didn’t care. In fact, I don’t even know if he noticed. He just grunted away behind me, slapping my ass more and squeezing my hips so hard it actually hurt. When he finished, he pushed me over, right there, in the middle of my living room floor. Didn’t care at all about me, or helping me finish one last time. He was done, that’s what mattered.

He was so blunt. He grabbed his pants and shirt, and dressed quickly. I was a little whimpering mess. My butt hurt so much I could hardly sit on the floor, and if had to lay on my side on one hip. I was struggling to get up, and wipe the tears out of my eyes when he opened my front door to leave. If somebody would have been walking past and looked in, they would have seen me easily.

And then he did something that I just cannot understand. Still writing about it, I’m not sure how I feel about it. It was either the hottest thing he has ever done, or the most asshole-ish, I can’t really decide. He pulled out his wallet, threw a fucking $5 bill on the floor in my entryway, and said “Thanks. Tell [bf]’s mom I said hi.” And walked out the door. Yes he fucking did!!! Oh my god… What the fuck is that? I didn’t know weather to laugh or cry. I didn’t know whether to be angry or turned on. I don’t know why. I don’t know if I was mad at him for doing that, mad at myself for letting him treat me like that, mad at him for leaving without another word, or mad at myself for liking it. I felt my eyes welling up with tears, but I don’t know if it was from the sex, the comment, the $5 bill, or a combination of them all.

I took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my eyes, and looked at the clock. Kyle’s show was in about 2 hours, and I was an absolute mess.


Insane Friday Part 2

I was a wreck. Emotionally, and physically.

I got up and went into my bedroom to look at myself in the mirror. Brandon was probably getting to his car about that time, but I really didn’t have time to worry about him. My hair was a disaster, and my ass/hips were a deep red, and sore to the touch. It wouldn’t have surprised me if he left bruises. Maybe that’s what he wanted.

I know what you are probably thinking… “She should totally fuck two guys on the same day!” Well, I agree that it would be pretty dirty, but I was in no shape to do that. Can you imagine what Kyle would have said if we did eventually get into bed, and my ass was all red and bruised? He would have either thought I was the biggest whore in the world, or that I stuck my butt out into oncoming traffic. It took me about 10 seconds of staring at myself in that mirror before I knew I wasn’t having sex with Kyle that night. But… That didn’t mean that I wasn’t going to be seen.

I decided that if I wasn’t going to the show to try to get some action, I was going to go and be the party girl. I made the decision that I was going to this show, and I was going to have fun, bruised ass be damned.

I took a shower. I washed my hair, I got out, and started to get ready for the show. My butt was still red, but I looked pretty good from the waist up. I thought about a dress, but didn’t think it was warm enough. And I thought about a sweater, but that looked too frumpy, and not exactly “party girl” material. I eventually picked out a black top with spaghetti straps, and a lot of cleavage showing. That is “party girl” enough, right? I put on a tight pair of jeans too, even though they hurt to put on, because anything loose brushing against my butt just stung like hell.

I called my boyfriend, and told him I was going to go to the show. He asked me what happened with Brandon, and I told him that I would tell him later, (more like show him) but that I was going to be late, so I had to get going. He asked me if he was allowed to come too, but I said no. I’m not sure why. I guess because I wanted a night out all to myself. He was a bit disappointed. I think he liked being the secret bodyguard last time… And I know that he loved watching. I told him that now that I knew that Kyle wasn’t going to hurt me, he would just have to live with me telling him the details afterward. Not his favorite idea ever. But he didn’t say that he wanted me to stay home.

I did my make up, and I actually had a conversation with myself in the mirror. “Forget that. That was a different person. That was ages ago. I don’t even remember that happening. I wonder if I’ll get high tonight? What should I do for dinner? What were Kyle’s friends names again?” It was a progression. I had to go from the “ripped skirt on the floor” Courtney to the “secret pothead party girl” Courtney. On my way out my door, I picked up that damn $5, and put it in my purse. I figured I earned it, I might as well spend it on something. I grabbed a coat, and walked out my door.

I was pretty sure that I wasn’t going to go home with Kyle, given the condition and discomfort of my backside, so I figured it would be OK to drive my car down to the show. Well that was a dumb idea. My but hurt so bad that it was painful to sit in my car. I had to do the sideways sit-on-he-hip thing again in the car. The place that the show was on Friday was all the way across town. It was actually a pretty decent size venue. Made for live music - not like the last couple of places that were basically bars with stages crammed into a corner somewhere. There was not very much parking though, and by the time I got there, the little lot they had was already full. Figures. I had to park a couple of blocks away in a residential neighborhood and walk.

Kyle’s band was the first of three to play that night, and he would be going on in about 15 min, but at that time I hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch at work, and I was really hungry. I saw a Subway, and decide that I would go in and get something. If I was a little late, that would be ok. So I did. Got myself a quick sandwich, and sat down to eat. Or, at least that was my plan. Hey, if anybody reading this works at Subway, can you do me a solid and get some better padding on those benches please? I’m sure those people thought I was crazy, because I am probably the only person in the history of that shop to order a sandwich, and then stand up to eat it. They had no idea why, of course.

Anyway, by the time I finished, I had to hurry to get over to the show. When I got there, and eventually got inside, the band was already on stage and playing. I saw a table with that same girl I met the last time… The one where it was too loud to hear her name properly. I walked toward that table, and eventually she saw me and waved me over, so I was pretty sure she recognized me. I pulled up a seat next to her (ouch) and took off my coat.

To be honest, the band didn’t sound that great this time. I don’t know what was different. Maybe the sound or the acoustics or whatever was off, but you could barely hear the lyrics over the music. It’s ok, not like I was there for the music anyway. I had a couple of drinks, and started to loosen up a bit. Vodka cranberry - my favorite. I talked with the other girl. Turns out her name is actually Stacy, so I wasn’t far off in my guess through the noise last time.

Kyle saw me sitting with her from the stage, and gave me the head nod, and a smile. It made me wonder what he has told them about me. What did the band know? What did Stacy know about me? I wasn’t really sure what I wanted the answer to be.

When the band was done playing, they took all their stuff off stage, and the next band got ready to play. I went up to the bar, and bought myself another drink, and bought a beer that I brought over to Kyle as soon as he had all of his stuff packed up. He thanked me, and then thanked me again for coming. I told him he was welcome, and that I was sorry I was a little late - work was hell. (Not a total lie). We drank a little. He asked me if I wanted to dance. Yes, of course I did. Anything to not sit down again. We had fun, we danced. He isn’t a good dancer, but in his defense, he is usually on stage, not the one dancing.

Stacy came out to join us, and so did Chris, who is the lead singer for their band. Kyle introduced me to Chris again, and I heard him say “she’s the one that ate half a Cheeba chew!” So, I’m not sure what all Chris might know, but he at least knows that much about the history between me and Kyle.

We hung out for a while, danced, had a few more drinks, and Kyle was kinda flirting with me the whole time, which I thought was fun, so I let it happen. I was kinda sorry for my boyfriend that he was at home and couldn’t watch me flirt back. At one point, Kyle took off this beat up old red baseball hat that he was wearing, and put it on my head. I played along with it, and wore the hat for a while. Stacy told me I looked good in it, and decided that she wanted to take a few pictures, so she handed her phone to some stranger, and he took a few pictures for her. She got a couple of good ones. Two of the 4 of us, and one of just her and I together. I asked her to send them to me, because I thought they were cute, so she did.

I wanted to go home with Kyle, I did. But there was no way that I was going to gamble with him seeing my bright red behind. Note to self… If I’m going to try multiple guys in the same day, Brandon needs to be last. After all three of the bands played, it was about 11:45, and I was exhausted. Kyle asked me if I wanted a ride home again, and as much as I wanted to, I wanted to make sure he didn’t get the wrong idea (or see my ass). So I told him “no thanks. I appreciate it. But… Remember… No strings, right? Just having fun tonight. Maybe more some other time”. He was actually surprisingly cool about it. No pouting, it disappointment, no hint that he wanted to be “more than friends” or anything sappy.

I thanked him for the invite to the show, and said bye to all of his other friends that were there, and headed out to the lobby. But then I saw the table in the lobby that he bands set up to sell their stuff after a show. I got a naughty little idea. It was actually suggested by a follower, and it popped into my head as soon as I saw the table of stuff. I walked over, and looked at the selection and picked up two t-shirts with Kyle’s band name on them. One for me, of course, and one for a Christmas present… For my boyfriend. I even used that damn $5 bill that Brandon left on my floor to help pay for them.

I was exhausted, so me and my sore ass went home, and went to bed. And thus ended the craziest single day I can remember going through in a long time.

I wrote part two of this entry after getting off work tonight, while my boyfriend is downstairs waiting for me to “wrap his Christmas gift”. Do you guys think he will like it? Maybe I’ll have him wear it out so he can talk all about this awesome new local band he found…

As for that Christmas present I promised you followers?? Well… Maybe I’ll just post Stacy’s picks as soon as I can make sure that they are cropped appropriately. :)


Anonymous asked:
I would have left you $20

Backhanded compliment of the day.


Anonymous asked:
Aren't you afraid of falling in love with kevin and ending your relationship with bf?

I can honestly say that I have no fear of falling in love with “Kevin”. Wow. Thanks for reading my blog.


Anonymous asked:
Do you have any fear of falling in love with KYLE/Brandon? (Don't worry guy who called him "kevin", I got you)

No, I really dont. They are fun for an occasional fling, but my bf is the one that is there for me when I need help, or a bottle of wine, or a shoulder to lean on. Im not falling in love with either of them. Don’t worry… my boyfriend is the one I buy Christmas presents for too… ;)


Anonymous asked:
Have you ever thought about posting sexy/nude photos so your boyfriend can see what us 'followers' would say?

My boyfriend has no idea that I even have this blog, so no, that’s not happening. Nice try though.