Reasons Why All Women Should Try Being A Lesbian
If you've never thought about being a lesbian you aren't thinking straight (no pun intended). Lesbianism is a great option for any woman. All men know it. In fact on any given day, the male community is waiting for the day when women up and figure out that they'd be way better off if they just cut guys out of the picture entirely. Want to be an early adopter? Here's reasons why all women should try being a lesbian.
Not much of a stretch. For many straight men, going gay is a pretty big stretch. Women on the other hand tend to be more sexually fluid. This isn’t true for all women of course but for many, it’s an easy transition.
You can have sex anywhere. You’re in a dressing room trying on clothes, why not have a go just to make the rest of your shopping experience more pleasurable? Powdering your nose? Why not have a go in the stall before the next dance?
Poop. With women you don’t have to pretend like you don’t poop anymore. Your girlfriend knows that you poop because she’s a woman also and presumably, she ***** too. The cat is out of the bag.
No balls. Say what you want about the penis. Some like it, some don’t but when it comes to balls, nobody likes those things and we’d all like to never have to deal with them again. Even men if they had the choice would probably never have to deal with balls. Lesbians are the fortunate few.
Men are gross. Let’s be honest. Men smell. They are hairy all over the place. They don’t clean up even before sex. Men are gross in so many ways it’s hard to count whereas women are gross in much fewer ways.
Pregnancy. Not having to worry about getting pregnant after sex is like not having to worry about calories after a bucket of fried chicken. It’s a freeing experience and it makes sex something you want to do all the time.
Better conversation. Half the conversations you have with your boyfriend, he’s pretending to listen. He’s not actually listening. He’s just nodding and thinking about something else entirely. Your girlfriend will actually have a back and forth with you.
Less mess. Women don’t ejaculate. Or to the extent that they do it doesn’t leave a stain. Men’s orgasms are like the fly mid transformation; goop flying everywhere. No thank you.
Dancing. One out of every 50 guys you meet will know how to dance. Going out dancing is almost never on the agenda. Women on the other hand can usually dance and they’re usually pretty awesome at it and sexy about it .
Girls kiss better. If you’ve made out with guys and girls you should know that women are just better at making out in every way. They are gentle and meticulous. It’s just an all around better experience.
Knowing the equipment. The old Seinfeld joke. Your girlfriend has a vagina and breasts and she touches them sometimes, so she knows what feels good. She will take the knowledge and use it to make you feel good and the world will be a better place.
STDs. Guys can get STDs at any given time because they go around dipping that thing anywhere they’re allowed to. In the lesbian community, the rate of STDs is lower than just about any other community, aside from asexuals.
More clothes. A guy moves in and it’s just less room in your closet. A girl moves in and it’s twice the wardrobe. Not only is it awesome to have more clothes to choose from, but it’s intimate.
Women try. Women actually fake orgasms which goes a long way toward how far they’ll go to try and make sex pleasurable. A woman will actually do what she can to make sure that you eventually have an orgasm.
The lesbian community rules. Seriously. The lesbian community has the coolest bands, the coolest hair cuts and some of the most ambitious and intelligent women you could want to meet. It’s like a sexy illuminati.
Not much of a stretch. For many straight men, going gay is a pretty big stretch. Women on the other hand tend to be more sexually fluid. This isn’t true for all women of course but for many, it’s an easy transition.
You can have sex anywhere. You’re in a dressing room trying on clothes, why not have a go just to make the rest of your shopping experience more pleasurable? Powdering your nose? Why not have a go in the stall before the next dance?
Poop. With women you don’t have to pretend like you don’t poop anymore. Your girlfriend knows that you poop because she’s a woman also and presumably, she ***** too. The cat is out of the bag.
No balls. Say what you want about the penis. Some like it, some don’t but when it comes to balls, nobody likes those things and we’d all like to never have to deal with them again. Even men if they had the choice would probably never have to deal with balls. Lesbians are the fortunate few.
Men are gross. Let’s be honest. Men smell. They are hairy all over the place. They don’t clean up even before sex. Men are gross in so many ways it’s hard to count whereas women are gross in much fewer ways.
Pregnancy. Not having to worry about getting pregnant after sex is like not having to worry about calories after a bucket of fried chicken. It’s a freeing experience and it makes sex something you want to do all the time.
Better conversation. Half the conversations you have with your boyfriend, he’s pretending to listen. He’s not actually listening. He’s just nodding and thinking about something else entirely. Your girlfriend will actually have a back and forth with you.
Less mess. Women don’t ejaculate. Or to the extent that they do it doesn’t leave a stain. Men’s orgasms are like the fly mid transformation; goop flying everywhere. No thank you.
Dancing. One out of every 50 guys you meet will know how to dance. Going out dancing is almost never on the agenda. Women on the other hand can usually dance and they’re usually pretty awesome at it and sexy about it .
Girls kiss better. If you’ve made out with guys and girls you should know that women are just better at making out in every way. They are gentle and meticulous. It’s just an all around better experience.
Knowing the equipment. The old Seinfeld joke. Your girlfriend has a vagina and breasts and she touches them sometimes, so she knows what feels good. She will take the knowledge and use it to make you feel good and the world will be a better place.
STDs. Guys can get STDs at any given time because they go around dipping that thing anywhere they’re allowed to. In the lesbian community, the rate of STDs is lower than just about any other community, aside from asexuals.
More clothes. A guy moves in and it’s just less room in your closet. A girl moves in and it’s twice the wardrobe. Not only is it awesome to have more clothes to choose from, but it’s intimate.
Women try. Women actually fake orgasms which goes a long way toward how far they’ll go to try and make sex pleasurable. A woman will actually do what she can to make sure that you eventually have an orgasm.
The lesbian community rules. Seriously. The lesbian community has the coolest bands, the coolest hair cuts and some of the most ambitious and intelligent women you could want to meet. It’s like a sexy illuminati.
7年前
