Part 31 (Coke)
I haven't updated my story for a bit and part of the reason for this is laziness but the main reason is that I have come to the part of my story which is deeply personal to me as it covers a part of my life that maybe does not require to be written down, its also a part of my life that I have talked extensively about with my psychologist so I have decided to move on about 18 months and pick up the story then.
Anyhow 18 month on myself and Conn have married and have moved into the home of Conn's deceased Grandmother in a pretty nice part of Dublin.
The house itself is in need of modernising and after putting an extension on the back of the property we are now in the process of doing up each room in turn, the progress of this has started to slow at this point as Connor has finally left the family business and has joined the Gardai (police) full time so although we have no mortgage on the property we have less income due to my husband trainee wages.
My little job has gone as the building the shop was in was owned by a developer who went bust owing the bank loads of money, the bank the developer owed the money to subsequently went bust and the debt was now taken over by the Irish government, the government then cleared the building to make it more attractive to sell and then sold the building for a knock down price to the brother of the original bankrupt developer if that makes any sense.
At this point I am actually in a pretty bad place upstairs as I am struggling to cope with the constant coming and going of tradesmen and all the associated mess they are creating and I find myself retreating and barricading myself into the upstairs attic room where I spend my days smoking weed. The sense of loneliness is compounded due to Conn being away from home as he has to go to a training centre further down the country.
Its not all doom and gloom and as well as reacquainting with Jo, Noreen has also joined us in the capital, and we are managing to meet up for a laugh as much as we can. Noreen is however being kept on a short leash by her ex cell mate girlfriend who I think is pretty jealous about our relationship.
When Connor is not around I find myself joining Jo and her work gang on a Friday after they finished work which are real drink and coke fuelled affairs, I was never a big fan of coke in the past but now I am starting to get into the buzz it gives me. Being out in a gang is great fun also as its maybe a part of my life I missed out on as heroin was always a very solitary d**g. I think i revel in the drama of the group and enjoy finding out who is shagging who, Jo being the worst as despite being married she is shagging her overall manager and her direct supervisor (not at the same time). I being an outsider are a bit of a challenge to conquer for some of the guys and although I hold out for a while soon due to the amount of coke I am snorting I drop my defenses and gradually over time one by one the guys in the group all have there way with me. I am not in anyway proud of this but Its an indication as where I am heading as an old monster is starting to grow inside my head and whenever I go to the dealer for coke/weed I can't shake the thoughts out of my head of what I really want to get my hands on.
Anyhow 18 month on myself and Conn have married and have moved into the home of Conn's deceased Grandmother in a pretty nice part of Dublin.
The house itself is in need of modernising and after putting an extension on the back of the property we are now in the process of doing up each room in turn, the progress of this has started to slow at this point as Connor has finally left the family business and has joined the Gardai (police) full time so although we have no mortgage on the property we have less income due to my husband trainee wages.
My little job has gone as the building the shop was in was owned by a developer who went bust owing the bank loads of money, the bank the developer owed the money to subsequently went bust and the debt was now taken over by the Irish government, the government then cleared the building to make it more attractive to sell and then sold the building for a knock down price to the brother of the original bankrupt developer if that makes any sense.
At this point I am actually in a pretty bad place upstairs as I am struggling to cope with the constant coming and going of tradesmen and all the associated mess they are creating and I find myself retreating and barricading myself into the upstairs attic room where I spend my days smoking weed. The sense of loneliness is compounded due to Conn being away from home as he has to go to a training centre further down the country.
Its not all doom and gloom and as well as reacquainting with Jo, Noreen has also joined us in the capital, and we are managing to meet up for a laugh as much as we can. Noreen is however being kept on a short leash by her ex cell mate girlfriend who I think is pretty jealous about our relationship.
When Connor is not around I find myself joining Jo and her work gang on a Friday after they finished work which are real drink and coke fuelled affairs, I was never a big fan of coke in the past but now I am starting to get into the buzz it gives me. Being out in a gang is great fun also as its maybe a part of my life I missed out on as heroin was always a very solitary d**g. I think i revel in the drama of the group and enjoy finding out who is shagging who, Jo being the worst as despite being married she is shagging her overall manager and her direct supervisor (not at the same time). I being an outsider are a bit of a challenge to conquer for some of the guys and although I hold out for a while soon due to the amount of coke I am snorting I drop my defenses and gradually over time one by one the guys in the group all have there way with me. I am not in anyway proud of this but Its an indication as where I am heading as an old monster is starting to grow inside my head and whenever I go to the dealer for coke/weed I can't shake the thoughts out of my head of what I really want to get my hands on.
7年前
