Dogging in Northern BC Part 1
Well I have posted twice in the hopes of explaining how I got into dogging. I'm sure there are some who still think dogging isn't real or there is no way a "normal" woman would be involved with it. My previous posts talked about how I got involved. With this post I'll try to talk about why.
When I look back, getting involved was simply a matter of meeting a guy who exposed me to it. At first it was following his lead. Over time though it turned into something I enjoyed. For the most part, it was more about curiousity and naughtiness. It was scary and exciting. At first, I felt more like it was happening around me. Something that others were doing, not me. I just happened to be around it. I think though, that I was making excuses. There was a part of me that tried to justify what I was doing and why. Over time though I stopped fooling myself.
If I'm honest with myself, I got into it simply for the attention and to be desired. I'm not being overly critical of myself, just honest, when I say I'm a very plain looking person. Nothing wrong with it, simply the way some of us are. The spots I went to were visited by either gay men or straight/bi men. The gay men of course had no interest in me. The bi men though, many of them were my age and older. Many were married. Many had a non existent sex life at home. Almost all kept what they did quiet and were just as worried about people who knew them finding out. So although it was scary it also felt safe in a weird way.
Although with most there was very little, if any, talking, some you got to know, at least a little. Even the ones you didn't talk with you recognized their faces and they recognized yours. You might see them at the mall or a restaurant or a community event and there would be this moment of recognition and nervousness and fear but everyone would pretend and go about their life.
I have always been a pretty shy person. I wouldn't say I lacked confidence so much as I didn't feel the need to stand out. I was happy blending into the crowd. At the park though, I felt safe to take risks. Like you would see a guy sitting in the parking lot or walking round and round in circles and you knew why he was there. He wanted a release. Often he wasn't picky how he got it. I found with many men, it seemed like they were grateful when I did things. In a way it also felt like an escape from my normal life, not that it was horrible, it was simply nice to get away.
I feel what I did really depended on how I felt in that moment. If the guy made me comfortable or uneasy. If I felt no one else would be coming by or if I felt like any second we'd hear another vehicle. I might show up intending to be crazy and get there and get a bad feeling and drive away. Other times I might simply be bored, able to get away and swing by with no thoughts or plans. It was very much an in the moment thing.
I think the uncertainty was also a part of it. You never really knew what would happen. Like I could be sitting in my vehicle with a guy sitting in his. I could flash my tits or take off my top or expose myself in a variety of ways. He might just sit there and look. He might drive away. He might approach me. He might expose himself. You never knew. I could go for a walk in the park and I they could stay glued inside their car or they might follow me. If I did end up doing something with someone even that was very spontaneous. Maybe I'd get groped, maybe I'd give them a blowjob or handjob, maybe we'd have sex. You never knew what would happen.
No matter how little or how much happened, driving away after I would always think, I can't believe I did that, what would people think or say if they knew. It felt like I was getting away with something.
Sometimes though, it felt like I was being someone else. I'm not the most confident person. I found though, that in some situations I could be very direct. I think many men assume only submissives would enjoy dogging. I found it often quite a different experience for me. These men didn't know me. Even if I was completely nervous, if I was direct, they would assume I was confident. In a way it felt almost powerful
Well, I'm not sure if I've successfully explained why I did it. It was worth a try.
When I look back, getting involved was simply a matter of meeting a guy who exposed me to it. At first it was following his lead. Over time though it turned into something I enjoyed. For the most part, it was more about curiousity and naughtiness. It was scary and exciting. At first, I felt more like it was happening around me. Something that others were doing, not me. I just happened to be around it. I think though, that I was making excuses. There was a part of me that tried to justify what I was doing and why. Over time though I stopped fooling myself.
If I'm honest with myself, I got into it simply for the attention and to be desired. I'm not being overly critical of myself, just honest, when I say I'm a very plain looking person. Nothing wrong with it, simply the way some of us are. The spots I went to were visited by either gay men or straight/bi men. The gay men of course had no interest in me. The bi men though, many of them were my age and older. Many were married. Many had a non existent sex life at home. Almost all kept what they did quiet and were just as worried about people who knew them finding out. So although it was scary it also felt safe in a weird way.
Although with most there was very little, if any, talking, some you got to know, at least a little. Even the ones you didn't talk with you recognized their faces and they recognized yours. You might see them at the mall or a restaurant or a community event and there would be this moment of recognition and nervousness and fear but everyone would pretend and go about their life.
I have always been a pretty shy person. I wouldn't say I lacked confidence so much as I didn't feel the need to stand out. I was happy blending into the crowd. At the park though, I felt safe to take risks. Like you would see a guy sitting in the parking lot or walking round and round in circles and you knew why he was there. He wanted a release. Often he wasn't picky how he got it. I found with many men, it seemed like they were grateful when I did things. In a way it also felt like an escape from my normal life, not that it was horrible, it was simply nice to get away.
I feel what I did really depended on how I felt in that moment. If the guy made me comfortable or uneasy. If I felt no one else would be coming by or if I felt like any second we'd hear another vehicle. I might show up intending to be crazy and get there and get a bad feeling and drive away. Other times I might simply be bored, able to get away and swing by with no thoughts or plans. It was very much an in the moment thing.
I think the uncertainty was also a part of it. You never really knew what would happen. Like I could be sitting in my vehicle with a guy sitting in his. I could flash my tits or take off my top or expose myself in a variety of ways. He might just sit there and look. He might drive away. He might approach me. He might expose himself. You never knew. I could go for a walk in the park and I they could stay glued inside their car or they might follow me. If I did end up doing something with someone even that was very spontaneous. Maybe I'd get groped, maybe I'd give them a blowjob or handjob, maybe we'd have sex. You never knew what would happen.
No matter how little or how much happened, driving away after I would always think, I can't believe I did that, what would people think or say if they knew. It felt like I was getting away with something.
Sometimes though, it felt like I was being someone else. I'm not the most confident person. I found though, that in some situations I could be very direct. I think many men assume only submissives would enjoy dogging. I found it often quite a different experience for me. These men didn't know me. Even if I was completely nervous, if I was direct, they would assume I was confident. In a way it felt almost powerful
Well, I'm not sure if I've successfully explained why I did it. It was worth a try.
6年前
