Breeding- my rambling

Can’t talk with my current women about some of my fantasies. I’ve sworn off some of them to make people happy, so it’s hard to suddenly turn around and say ‘hey, you know what still gets me rock hard that I sometimes jerk off thinking about?’... Breeding is the biggest culprit right now. I’m seeing someone as my main that is much older than I am. She’s a little bit more than twice my age so k**s is out of the picture. Mind you, she’s already told me that she wishes she could bear my k**s and has even given me permission to go impregnate someone(s) else in order to make it happen. As much as I know I would enjoy that, I still see that look on her face for a split second after I cum in her where she remembers what can’t happen. I’ve wanted to breed for awhile now. I’m black, hung, in my 20’s and my looks are above average. I’ve had offers and I know I’m virile, got an ex pregnant while she had an iud in. Every time I size up a woman I might be interested in dating I think, what would her k**s look like? Would she still look fuckable pregnant? How many of my k**s should she have? Married, single, it doesn’t matter. In fact I think the older a woman is, the stronger her relationship or the more prestigious her social position the more I might want it. I’ve fantasized about pastors wives, politicians, the woman that hands me my coffee cup in the morning, the neighbor on the stairs, people in traffic... but I can’t talk about it with my partner. I sometimes wonder if my not speaking to her about it goes against any bull experience I’ve had in the past and against my nature as a Dom and Bull. I don’t believe it makes me some sort of pussy. I do acknowledge that there is a fear in having the conversation but mainly out of preserving her peace of mind. I know what she wants and what lengths she’s willing to go to for my happiness. I wonder... should I keep staying inactive? Or should I give us what we both desire, however that must happen?