When you love someone

I want to share a story. When you have someone in your life you love more than anything you don't take things for granted and take things out on them because you are angry and upset. I had the most amazing and beautiful person and recently we had a thing where thought I was right in asking a question and I thought it was no big deal, but when I got a response she was upset and didn't want to talk to me and I didn't know why it upset her. I tried and tried to get her to talk to me but she wouldn't. I was wondering why is she so upset, I just couldn't figure it out. I reached out to some friends of hers and they were very nice about it even though they didn't deserve to be caught up in the middle of this, but they did try to help me to get messages to her when they didn't have to do anything. So I got angry and upset about it because I was heartbroken and I lashed out in anger and wanted to do things trying to seek revenge, I thought of things to hurt her make her life uncomfortable and hard, all because of being angry. So I took to doing some nasty mean things, I was still wondering what did I do to get her so upset. I did things that was just mean and I violated a trust and posted some personal information online, just being mean and vengeful just a nasty horrible person you don't do that to someone you are supposed to love no matter how mad you are that is just notrigh. As time has been going on I was still clueless of what upset her so much, so I started thinking about things and finally retraced things I still couldn't figure it out. By know I had already done things that that couldn't be undone and they are inexcusable and Unforgivable. I kept going over a question I asked because that seemed to set her off, it took a while but then finally I realized that the question the way I worded it didn't come across the way I intended,it sounded like a controlling and demanding person and honestly i didn't realize that. I had been working so much and had been so tired for so long I just wasn't able to think clearly but that is still no excuse and when she wouldn't speak to me I even started drinking hard that doesn't help, that is when I started doing all those horrible things. I finally realized I was the one that fucked this up, she didn't deserve any of it. Like I say by now I had done Unforgivable things and I don't blame her for being so upset. No matter how much you want to go back and fix things and make it all go away you can't. Don't be a vindictive person and expect a good outcome you will end up heartbroken and depressed. I had the most beautiful and amazing person in my life and I did things that she didn't deserve because I was just trying to be mean and nasty and try to embarrass her and make things difficult which I should have never done, after all I was the in the wrong. When you love someone don't do stupid and do things just because you are mad and upset, it is not going to make things better and you surely are not going to get them back. If you love someone and you have a disagreement or argument just be patient and give it some time in the end maybe it will work out. But don't act like a dumbass and do things out of anger and revenge. I lost the best thing I had in my life because I was just really stupid and taking things out on her and the biggest thing is I betrayed a trust I was given which is Unforgivable there is no excuse for that. In the end love the ones that you cherish and don't let yourself be blinded with anger and jealousy. I do still love her more than anything and always will. DP