Better Living Through Hypnosis (and Dildoes)

Is sissy hypnosis real?

You're too intelligent to really believe in things like that. It's just a fun little genre of role-playing and fantasy. It's perfect if you're turned on by something that you don't really want to do, or want to pretend that you don't want to do. If you're a guy who knows he shouldn't be dressing in women's clothes or daydreaming about sucking cock, it's nice to pretend that somebody else is controlling you and making you want to do it against your will.

Funny thing though... the more you pretend, the more it gets inside you. Like a TV commercial or a pop song or a changing social value. Call it hypnosis and it's a silly fantasy. Call it classical conditioning and its the very real basis for much of modern psychology, advertising and propaganda. Except that you rarely reinforce most of these things over and over again by stroking yourself and cumming. That's operant conditioning, and it's hypnotizing you just as surely as it hypnotized Pavlov's dog.

I got my new dildo today. Nothing extreme, just a decent-sized realistic cock with a nice suction cup on the end. But I fell in love with it immediately.

I love sucking it. I knew I would, but it's even better than I expected. The feel of it against my lips, tracing every curve with my tongue, taking it deep in my mouth... so good, so right. And I think I'm already pretty skilled at sucking cock -- a natural, and with practice can only get better. Predictably, I'm going to need to work on my throat skills. But I'm already improving. It just feels like I was meant for it.

I didn't expect how good it would be just to hold a cock and caress it, to feel it in my hands and against my face. To give it a nice squeeze. To run my fingertips up and down the shaft. I had it mounted in front of me, more or less right where a standing man's cock would be. I couldn't keep my hands off of it. It made me so excited that I didn't even need to stroke myself; stroking "him" was all I needed to do with my hands.

Eventually, me being me, I had to light a cigarette. And let me tell you, it was exciting just to hold a cock in my hand with my cigarette between the fingertips. To stroke him for a while and then take a drag, and exhale over that beautiful cock. I've always liked watching smoking blowjobs, but this was the first time I really understood how good it was to give one.

I made myself wait a long time before taking it in my ass.

I kept telling myself no, don't you want to suck it a little more first? And the answer was always yes. I can't ever imagine saying no to sucking cock. But ultimately I forced myself to stop, because I also can't say no to cock in my ass. Why would I? Again, it feels like what I was meant for.

I raised myself up from the sucking position and turned around. The seat in front of me was a nice height for bracing my knees, and the backrest was sturdy enough to cling to when the delicious feeling of cock in my ass made me weak. There was no pain, only a little nagging fear that I'd damage myself in my passion. But the only thing that didn't hold up to my wiggling, bucking ass was the suction cup. Granted, it held on for quite some time...

Instead of re-mounting it, I sat back down and raised my legs. This is the position in which I would be able to see my man while he fucked me. He could watch me, if he liked, maybe while I smoked for him, maybe while kissing me. Whatever he wanted, anything he wanted.

After a while I sat forward, driving the cock even deeper into me, and just sat there and smoked, loving the feeling of being full and mastered. I wanted to go through my whole day with my ass full. Without it, I was incomplete.

It doesn't seem that long ago that I was more or less a normal straight man. Funny thing is, although he was motivated in no small part by sex, he didn't enjoy it as much as I do now. It was certainly pleasurable, he was kinda obsessed with it.... but on the other hand, it was rarely joyful, and nowhere near as much FUN.

So is sissy hypnosis real?

I guess the answer is yes and no.

While I can't honestly claim that I was ever totally a 100% perfectly normal heterosexual guy, I was pretty straight for most of my life. The most that I could say was that I wouldn't have been totally against the idea of having a gay experience with the right guy in the right situation someday. It didn't ever happen, and it never entered into any of my *********t or 20-something fantasies. Even when I first started to be turned on by shemales, even when I started experimenting with crossdressing, I was still almost exclusively attracted to female hotness. It took years -- decades, really -- before I started to want a man to fuck me.

I suppose some might say that it was always there, and the programming merely enabled me to let it out. That's probably the most rational interpretation. But frankly that explanation doesn't fully satisfy me. Or maybe it's just more fun to believe in something a little more magical.

And I do believe. I believe that my resistance, my self-imposed limitations, my self-control and my shame have all been gradually blown away. I'd be scared and sorry about it... if I was in fact still in total rational control of myself. But I'm not, and I no longer even want to be, because I love it.

I love that my mind has been destroyed and rewritten by weed and porn. I love that I'm addicted. I love that I've been thoroughly brainwashed, and there's no going back.

Today, at some point while I was either sucking my dildo or toying my ass, I said aloud "I am a slut" and it felt GOOD. It was not a confession, not an admission -- it was a joyful declaration. I'd call it pride, but pride no longer means anything real to me. I'll take pride in my appearance, in that I want to look as fuckable as possible. I'll take pride in being able to make men cum.

Rationally, I still recognize that this is the exact opposite of what most people would call "pride." They'd say I suffered from self-esteem issues, that I was sick, that I was progressively habituated to these beliefs and behaviors through a pattern of self-reinforced conditioning that took the place of healthy coping skills and a more traditional and socially appropriate release of sexual tension.

Maybe they're right. But what they don't understand is the pure joy and happiness that I feel, and that I want to make men feel. As a guy, I'm always at some level comparing and competing with others, a neverending anxiety of one-upmanship over even the smallest things. As a gurl, I'm just happy to make others happy. Be as big a man as you want; I'm just here to please you. It's a relief and a joyful existence.

Is it dirty and weird? Sure! That's what makes it extra good. The world is pretty dull and predictable if you're not weird. And sex is frankly kinda boring, just another bodily function and overused plotline, if it's not dirty. The more tolerant and open a society becomes, the more deviant you have to be if you want to really get the most out of sex. But that's all beside the point.

The point is: I love it. I love my new dildo. I love dolling up and posting my little teasing pics and vids. I love the idea that people are cumming to the sight of me. And most of all, I love the idea that this is leading up to being really and truly fucked. By a man. I no longer want the option to turn back. I don't want to go this far and no farther. Because I have been turned (against my will, or otherwise) into a dirty little vessel of joy. The only thing that would make this truly a sad story is if I kept this joy all to myself.

So is sissy hypnosis real?

It's real enough for me to warn you. If you absolutely don't ever want to take the chance of becoming a cock-worshipping bimbo sissy slut, you should probably stay safely away from hypno. Stick with vanilla porn, and look only at the women, not at the big lovely cocks fucking them. Don't ever get turned on by shemales. Don't let yourself think for a moment "I wonder how THAT would feel..."

But if you want to take that chance, I'm more than happy to help you along. Do you see me and fantasize about sucking or getting fucked by me? Good. You're on your way to your destiny. There's more horny guys out there than there are eager sluts to serve them. Sooner or later you'll give in completely and join our growing ranks. Let go of your insufficient manhood and be the best fucktoy you can be. Maybe we could suck a real man's cock together.