Moment of Clarity

I'm a young guy from Durban South Africa, I'm quiet and shy in fact I'm in my late twenties and I've never been in a relationship before. I'm a virgin, never had a bj; hj; never even kissed a girl. I've had much luck with girls and I'm not bad looking either lol. As I grew up I found that from watching porn and talking to other guys i don't really measure up in the penis department (I'm 9cm cut), the average size of most of the guys were 13cm and above. I didn't feel bad or insecure I understand that everyone is different in this world, some people are bigger than others in many different ways, the problem came when I tried to hook up with girls. Some felt sorry for me and some girls just straight up laughed at me, this affected me quite a bit the times that it happened, I didn't dwell on it though. I've always been secretly attracted to guys but I never admitted to anyone or to myself for that matter, kept these feelings deep down and never tried to hookup with guys. Even when I watched porn I was curious about gay, trans and bi porn but I steered clear of all those things until I discovered hentai and Futa porn. Girls with big cocks, muscular girls with hug cocks turned me on in a way that I never experienced before, I still only checked out Futa on female stuff maintaining the illusion of being exclusively straight. I then came across femboys and traps and it became more palatable for me but kept it to handjobs and blowjobs, one thing was in common though I was at the least intrigued by big cocks. After a while henati futa became a little stale for me so I took the leap into "straight guy" handjobs, straight guys giving handjobs to other guys. That eventually drifted into blowjobs and eventually anal penetration. By this point I knew that I was in love with big juicy fat cocks, I want to rub them, jerk them suck them, deepthroat them, suck balls and want to feel them fill up my virgin asshole. As many cocks as I can get, I came across hypno and sissy videos and it was over. I'm 1.59m tall 55kg lean and naturally smooth I know I was made to be a bottom boy, I don't crossdress but if someone gave me something to wear I wouldn't say no. I still like women and girls very much but I definitely know now that I like gurls and lovely juicy mouth watering fat cocks more....a lot more! I'm still a virgin, never been kissed but I know that I'm made for guys and not girls.