What makes good kink?

I'm dyslexic and don't write well, so apologies in advance.
Its not about the toys or tools. I'm open to most things when done right. It's all mental, and a fine line I don't understand because it's just not in me. Sometimes just a hand on my shoulder is worth more than a dungeon. It will make me feel powerless, but at the same time powerful and proud to be under you. It's feeling the lust and passion of being the center of someones universe that I would do anything to feel. Good sex always goes a couple steps past comfortable. Being told I'm a good girl after makes most things worth it, and is the only reason I get out of bed.
Where it goes wrong is someone who does things to prove they're in control that aren't necessary. If you're on me and in me it's clear you are THE MAN! I'm honored to be THE MAN's favorite thing and when you cum in me i am a god. If you do things just to prove you're the man, it comes across as insecure and desperate. That robs me of my pleasure and instead of getting fucked by THE MAN, I was degraded by a man.