My Gay Confessional
I have never considered myself Gay at least by the modern definition
In fact the majority of men I don’t find attractive in any way.
That is, in a emotional or romantic sense
Id say Im more Homosexual in the literal definition (or at the very least Bi-sexual)
Its more a Physical and Sexual attraction
There are about .01% of men that can just really get me going. Almost a****list urges. Primal.
I love Cocks. I love looking at them. I love watching them swing around (hard or soft) and I love watching them ejaculate
I guess a lot of my sexual orientations and desires came from my early upbringing.
Things started young (sexually) for me. All the boys on my block were a bunch of out of control little dirty monkeys from a young age. Skinny-dipping, Streaking, Peeping, getting girls to show their cooch, showing them our wieners, playing pee games, etc. We were pervy little k**s.
When I was young and away at Bible Camp (lol) I witnessed an older boy in the bunk next to mine have a “wet dream”
I was grossed out, but it definitely left an impression on me.
When I was a teen one of my friends and I were walking to a near-by park and, well long story short here, we ended up witnessing the most hardcore gay sex I have ever seen.
It was not long after that we began a “special” relationship that lasted for about 4 years.
We never really thought about it being “gay” or anything. Just 2 friends having some secret naked fun and helping each other get off.
It was fun and I really enjoyed sucking cock.
Though I never got to like the taste of cum.
My first “real” gay experience happened when I was 18. (It was also, to this day, the most incredible, intense and erotic sexual experience I have ever had)
I had a fake ID that said I was 21 so I was able to buy alcohol and gain entrance to other adult places, like Porn Shops that were 21+
The store was one of those dark seedy ones on the edge of town.
The guy behind the counter was a scrawny greasy creepy guy
“It’s a dollar entry fee and I need to see some ID.” He said.
I handed him a $5 and my fake ID.
He looked at the ID, then back at me a few times then handed it and $4 back to me.
“Magazines and Movies are on the right. Marital Aids and Accessories on the left. Theater and Arcade are in the back. There is a change machine for quarters.” He said.
I entered through the turnstile and went off to the right. Looking down the isles I browsed the magazines.
I eventually ended up at the Arcade. I put in the $4 and got 16 quarters. I then found a vacant booth in the back and went in.
I put 4 quarters in the machine and started flipping through the offered movies.
I had been in there no more than 5 minutes when the door to my booth opened.
Standing in the doorway was a big, bald, bearded gorilla of a man.
Like a Biker, Trucker, Bigfoot combo
“Whats going on in here?” he asked staring down at me.
I just stammered slack jawed.
“Im gonna need to see that ID of yours again.” He said holding out his hand.
I got my ID out of my wallet and handed it to him.
He took a small pen-light out and examined my ID.
“Hmmm. Im not too sure about this ID.” He said. “I think Im going to have to call the cops in to check this out.”
I freaked. I begged him not too. I was scared out of my mind.
He was huge. He took up the entire doorframe of the video booth.
There was no way to escape. I was trapped.
“I tell you what.” He said, “ You give me that cock and I wont call the cops.”
“WHAT!? I managed to stammer out.
“I get your cock or the Police get your ass!”
I just stared up at him. Speechless. What could I do?
“That’s a good boy” he said as he came fully into the booth and flicked the latch (I never knew there was a lock on the door), “Now stand up and drop those pants. Show me what you got”
I stood up and let my jeans drop to my ankles.
“Oh Yeah! Nice piece of meat boy!” he said smiling.
He was wearing a blue mechanics jump-suit which he had unzipped and was pulling off his massive shoulders.
He was so hairy. Like a light brown sweater. It kind of shone like and aura around his torso in the video screen light
He reached forward, grabbed my dick and balls in his big rough paw, knelt down and immediately put my entire cock in his mouth.
His mouth was so hot as he sucked and tongued my cock. His beard was rough, yet soft against my thighs. His giant arm locked around my waist as he gobbled at my crotch.
The feeling was so amazing.
He was doing something with the back of his tongue and throat that just brought me to the edge and it wasn’t long before I completely let loose and popped in his mouth.
He kept sucking and slurping and swallowing. It was like I was a milkshake and my dick was the straw.
I kept cumming and cumming and he just kept drinking me
At one point it felt like I was pissing, but I didn’t care. The release and the ecstasy were beyond incredible.
When he finally let go of me I collapsed back onto the booths bench seat.
I was weak and shaking. I couldn’t move. I was completely spent.
The massive Man-b**st rose up in front of me. I didn’t know what he was going to do to me now, but I was to weak to do much about it.
His jumpsuit was at his feet and he was naked except for white socks and wookboots.
He had a huge giant barrel chest and belly and the biggest nipples I had ever seen.
Like a shrunk down slice of bologna with a Vienna sausage in the middle.
He was so big and hairy. Completely covered head to toe in the soft man-fur.
Except for his crotch area, which was shaved.
Amazingly for a man his size he had a very small dick. Maybe 4 inches at the most, He was uncut, but had a very large mushroom shaped head that would kind of “pop” in and out of the tight foreskin as he stroked himself.
He also had huge swollen shaved balls which he had tied a leather strap tightly around.
He was furiously twisting and jerking his fat little cock right in front of me.
As he leaned forward and over me, bracing his free hand on the wall above me, his giant hairy belly pushed on my forehead pining me against the wall.
His little dick was inches from my mouth, but he never tried to stick in. Just flicked it back and forth as he jacked off
“Grab my nipples” he said.
I reached up with both hands and grabbed his big bologna nipples. They were hard like rubber erasers.
“Twist em” he growled.
I gave them a nice hard twist.
He groaned loudly and let loose the biggest load of cum all over my belly and dick.
It was hot and thick and came out in multiple long ropey streams.
I pulled on his tits as he shot load after load all over me.
I could feel it running down my balls and the crack of my ass like a waterfall.
He was shaking and grunting as he squeezed his juice out.
He pushed back off the wall, again standing naked in front of me. His small cock still hard with a drop of cum hanging from the tip.
He scooped it off with his finger, ate it and smiled down at me.
“Now pull up your pants and get the fuck out of here.” He said as he also pulled his jumper back on and zipped up.
I looked down at myself. I was covered in cum. It was on my shirt, all over my cock and balls and a lot had dripped down into my pants. I was soaked. There were no towels.
“Wear that shit home to your Mom little man.” He said opening the door and walking out.
I took off my shirt, cleaned off as much as I could and walked out of the booth.
I tried to leave as quickly and quietly as possible, but on the way out the Man-b**st stopped me.
“If you ever come back be prepared to pay up boy.” He said. “You know what the price is.”
I bolted out the door and drove home as fast as I could and took a shower.
I never went back there but I always wished I had
My next gay experienced happened a few years later.
I had gotten off work late and missed my bus. It was late and I didn’t want to wait. My Apt was across town, but for some reason I decided to walk thinking maybe Id catch a ride.
Well it wasn’t long before I did.
Big Cadillac pulls up next to me and the passenger window goes down
“Hey! Need a ride?” says the driver.
I lean down and look in the window. Its an older man. 50’s maybe 60’s.
Grey beard and hair. Looks like Santa.
I tell him my Apt is all the way across town.
He says “Well I can take you there, but I might need you to put something in the tank. It’s a guzzler”
He kind of motions to the car, but then pats his big round belly.
Laughing like jolly old Santa.
I told him I didn’t have any money for gas.
He said, “Well, you know the old saying- Gas, Grass or Ass. No one rides for free.” and laughs again patting his big belly.
I laugh, because I know the phrase as a joke, but he leans over in the seat and says real serious, “Look, Ill give you a ride and you let me suck your dick. Deal?”
I stopped laughing and asked if he was serious.
He said, “Yep! Come on, hop in. Ill give you the best blowjob you’ve ever had.”
I really didn’t want to walk home.
So, I got a ride home and a really great blowjob from Santa Clause.
The next time was after a long night partying. Couldnt find pussy so I decided to stop in the nearest Porn Shop and spank out some knuckle babies.
As I was walking down the hall of video booths, someone “Psst!” me.
I looked over and there was a guy standing in one of the doorways.
“You looking for a blowjob?” he says to me.
I look him up and down. Clean cut, short mustache. Looks like a Cop.
“You a Cop?” I ask.
He smiles at me, “Today Im a cock sucking ******. You want your balls drained or not?” he says.
Im lit and horny and whos to know, right?
So I step into the booth and get my balls drained by a cum hungry cop.
Next was during a night out with some people from work.
We had all gone to this bar, drinking, playing darts and pool.
There was this guy hanging out with us that one of the work girls knew.
He was cool and we had chatted a bit through the night, played a game of pool, etc.
Late into the night he asked me if I wanted to go smoke a joint.
I was like “Hell Yeah! Lets Go!”
So we go outside and get into his nice big black SUV.
“Get in the back,” he says, “more comfortable.”
Im in the back and he gets in the drivers seat, goes into the center console and takes out a box.
He opens the box and pulls out a nice fat Blunt.
He sparks it up, takes a hit and passes it to me. I take a couple of hits. The stuff is BOMB!
Then everything went kinda hazy
The next thing I realize is Im spread eagle on the bench seat, my pants are down and this guy is sucking my dick like a fiend. Just going to town on it.
Now I have no idea what type of weed that was (I personally think it was laced), but I was totally faded and couldn’t move.
Well, Im fucked up, he’s already doing it and whos to know, right?
So I let him suck me off.
The last time I had a M2M experience was when I was 26. I was out of town for work and had an evening to myself before heading home.
I went out and got a little trashed and ended up in another Porn Shop.
As I was starting to rub one out I heard the familiar “Psst. Hey! Suck your dick?”
I was in a closed and locked booth and didn’t know where it was coming from.
Then I saw a hole on the wall and in that hole was a bearded mouth.
“Gimme your cock!” the mouth said.
Im, again a little drunk, in a strange town and whos to know, right?
So I let the Hole in the Wall suck me to 2 amazingly long juicy loads.
I didn’t even watch a movie.
And that was it.
For the last 30 years I have live a standard straight life.
No secret meetings on the D/L or encounters with strange Holes in the Wall.
Didn’t even think about it in any way.
But now all that has changed.
Now I dream of my past encounters and fantasize about new ones.
I am so cock hungry sometimes I think Im going crazy.
I cant stop thinking about it and the desire gets stronger every day.
I masturbate to gay porn sometimes 3 times a day. I just cant get enough
I want to go back to that first porn shop and just let that massive Man-b**st do everything to me!
That’s where I am now. That’s my “Story”.
Trying to make sense of these changes that Im going through.
Hopefully one day I will understand them and be comfortable with who/what I am.
In fact the majority of men I don’t find attractive in any way.
That is, in a emotional or romantic sense
Id say Im more Homosexual in the literal definition (or at the very least Bi-sexual)
Its more a Physical and Sexual attraction
There are about .01% of men that can just really get me going. Almost a****list urges. Primal.
I love Cocks. I love looking at them. I love watching them swing around (hard or soft) and I love watching them ejaculate
I guess a lot of my sexual orientations and desires came from my early upbringing.
Things started young (sexually) for me. All the boys on my block were a bunch of out of control little dirty monkeys from a young age. Skinny-dipping, Streaking, Peeping, getting girls to show their cooch, showing them our wieners, playing pee games, etc. We were pervy little k**s.
When I was young and away at Bible Camp (lol) I witnessed an older boy in the bunk next to mine have a “wet dream”
I was grossed out, but it definitely left an impression on me.
When I was a teen one of my friends and I were walking to a near-by park and, well long story short here, we ended up witnessing the most hardcore gay sex I have ever seen.
It was not long after that we began a “special” relationship that lasted for about 4 years.
We never really thought about it being “gay” or anything. Just 2 friends having some secret naked fun and helping each other get off.
It was fun and I really enjoyed sucking cock.
Though I never got to like the taste of cum.
My first “real” gay experience happened when I was 18. (It was also, to this day, the most incredible, intense and erotic sexual experience I have ever had)
I had a fake ID that said I was 21 so I was able to buy alcohol and gain entrance to other adult places, like Porn Shops that were 21+
The store was one of those dark seedy ones on the edge of town.
The guy behind the counter was a scrawny greasy creepy guy
“It’s a dollar entry fee and I need to see some ID.” He said.
I handed him a $5 and my fake ID.
He looked at the ID, then back at me a few times then handed it and $4 back to me.
“Magazines and Movies are on the right. Marital Aids and Accessories on the left. Theater and Arcade are in the back. There is a change machine for quarters.” He said.
I entered through the turnstile and went off to the right. Looking down the isles I browsed the magazines.
I eventually ended up at the Arcade. I put in the $4 and got 16 quarters. I then found a vacant booth in the back and went in.
I put 4 quarters in the machine and started flipping through the offered movies.
I had been in there no more than 5 minutes when the door to my booth opened.
Standing in the doorway was a big, bald, bearded gorilla of a man.
Like a Biker, Trucker, Bigfoot combo
“Whats going on in here?” he asked staring down at me.
I just stammered slack jawed.
“Im gonna need to see that ID of yours again.” He said holding out his hand.
I got my ID out of my wallet and handed it to him.
He took a small pen-light out and examined my ID.
“Hmmm. Im not too sure about this ID.” He said. “I think Im going to have to call the cops in to check this out.”
I freaked. I begged him not too. I was scared out of my mind.
He was huge. He took up the entire doorframe of the video booth.
There was no way to escape. I was trapped.
“I tell you what.” He said, “ You give me that cock and I wont call the cops.”
“WHAT!? I managed to stammer out.
“I get your cock or the Police get your ass!”
I just stared up at him. Speechless. What could I do?
“That’s a good boy” he said as he came fully into the booth and flicked the latch (I never knew there was a lock on the door), “Now stand up and drop those pants. Show me what you got”
I stood up and let my jeans drop to my ankles.
“Oh Yeah! Nice piece of meat boy!” he said smiling.
He was wearing a blue mechanics jump-suit which he had unzipped and was pulling off his massive shoulders.
He was so hairy. Like a light brown sweater. It kind of shone like and aura around his torso in the video screen light
He reached forward, grabbed my dick and balls in his big rough paw, knelt down and immediately put my entire cock in his mouth.
His mouth was so hot as he sucked and tongued my cock. His beard was rough, yet soft against my thighs. His giant arm locked around my waist as he gobbled at my crotch.
The feeling was so amazing.
He was doing something with the back of his tongue and throat that just brought me to the edge and it wasn’t long before I completely let loose and popped in his mouth.
He kept sucking and slurping and swallowing. It was like I was a milkshake and my dick was the straw.
I kept cumming and cumming and he just kept drinking me
At one point it felt like I was pissing, but I didn’t care. The release and the ecstasy were beyond incredible.
When he finally let go of me I collapsed back onto the booths bench seat.
I was weak and shaking. I couldn’t move. I was completely spent.
The massive Man-b**st rose up in front of me. I didn’t know what he was going to do to me now, but I was to weak to do much about it.
His jumpsuit was at his feet and he was naked except for white socks and wookboots.
He had a huge giant barrel chest and belly and the biggest nipples I had ever seen.
Like a shrunk down slice of bologna with a Vienna sausage in the middle.
He was so big and hairy. Completely covered head to toe in the soft man-fur.
Except for his crotch area, which was shaved.
Amazingly for a man his size he had a very small dick. Maybe 4 inches at the most, He was uncut, but had a very large mushroom shaped head that would kind of “pop” in and out of the tight foreskin as he stroked himself.
He also had huge swollen shaved balls which he had tied a leather strap tightly around.
He was furiously twisting and jerking his fat little cock right in front of me.
As he leaned forward and over me, bracing his free hand on the wall above me, his giant hairy belly pushed on my forehead pining me against the wall.
His little dick was inches from my mouth, but he never tried to stick in. Just flicked it back and forth as he jacked off
“Grab my nipples” he said.
I reached up with both hands and grabbed his big bologna nipples. They were hard like rubber erasers.
“Twist em” he growled.
I gave them a nice hard twist.
He groaned loudly and let loose the biggest load of cum all over my belly and dick.
It was hot and thick and came out in multiple long ropey streams.
I pulled on his tits as he shot load after load all over me.
I could feel it running down my balls and the crack of my ass like a waterfall.
He was shaking and grunting as he squeezed his juice out.
He pushed back off the wall, again standing naked in front of me. His small cock still hard with a drop of cum hanging from the tip.
He scooped it off with his finger, ate it and smiled down at me.
“Now pull up your pants and get the fuck out of here.” He said as he also pulled his jumper back on and zipped up.
I looked down at myself. I was covered in cum. It was on my shirt, all over my cock and balls and a lot had dripped down into my pants. I was soaked. There were no towels.
“Wear that shit home to your Mom little man.” He said opening the door and walking out.
I took off my shirt, cleaned off as much as I could and walked out of the booth.
I tried to leave as quickly and quietly as possible, but on the way out the Man-b**st stopped me.
“If you ever come back be prepared to pay up boy.” He said. “You know what the price is.”
I bolted out the door and drove home as fast as I could and took a shower.
I never went back there but I always wished I had
My next gay experienced happened a few years later.
I had gotten off work late and missed my bus. It was late and I didn’t want to wait. My Apt was across town, but for some reason I decided to walk thinking maybe Id catch a ride.
Well it wasn’t long before I did.
Big Cadillac pulls up next to me and the passenger window goes down
“Hey! Need a ride?” says the driver.
I lean down and look in the window. Its an older man. 50’s maybe 60’s.
Grey beard and hair. Looks like Santa.
I tell him my Apt is all the way across town.
He says “Well I can take you there, but I might need you to put something in the tank. It’s a guzzler”
He kind of motions to the car, but then pats his big round belly.
Laughing like jolly old Santa.
I told him I didn’t have any money for gas.
He said, “Well, you know the old saying- Gas, Grass or Ass. No one rides for free.” and laughs again patting his big belly.
I laugh, because I know the phrase as a joke, but he leans over in the seat and says real serious, “Look, Ill give you a ride and you let me suck your dick. Deal?”
I stopped laughing and asked if he was serious.
He said, “Yep! Come on, hop in. Ill give you the best blowjob you’ve ever had.”
I really didn’t want to walk home.
So, I got a ride home and a really great blowjob from Santa Clause.
The next time was after a long night partying. Couldnt find pussy so I decided to stop in the nearest Porn Shop and spank out some knuckle babies.
As I was walking down the hall of video booths, someone “Psst!” me.
I looked over and there was a guy standing in one of the doorways.
“You looking for a blowjob?” he says to me.
I look him up and down. Clean cut, short mustache. Looks like a Cop.
“You a Cop?” I ask.
He smiles at me, “Today Im a cock sucking ******. You want your balls drained or not?” he says.
Im lit and horny and whos to know, right?
So I step into the booth and get my balls drained by a cum hungry cop.
Next was during a night out with some people from work.
We had all gone to this bar, drinking, playing darts and pool.
There was this guy hanging out with us that one of the work girls knew.
He was cool and we had chatted a bit through the night, played a game of pool, etc.
Late into the night he asked me if I wanted to go smoke a joint.
I was like “Hell Yeah! Lets Go!”
So we go outside and get into his nice big black SUV.
“Get in the back,” he says, “more comfortable.”
Im in the back and he gets in the drivers seat, goes into the center console and takes out a box.
He opens the box and pulls out a nice fat Blunt.
He sparks it up, takes a hit and passes it to me. I take a couple of hits. The stuff is BOMB!
Then everything went kinda hazy
The next thing I realize is Im spread eagle on the bench seat, my pants are down and this guy is sucking my dick like a fiend. Just going to town on it.
Now I have no idea what type of weed that was (I personally think it was laced), but I was totally faded and couldn’t move.
Well, Im fucked up, he’s already doing it and whos to know, right?
So I let him suck me off.
The last time I had a M2M experience was when I was 26. I was out of town for work and had an evening to myself before heading home.
I went out and got a little trashed and ended up in another Porn Shop.
As I was starting to rub one out I heard the familiar “Psst. Hey! Suck your dick?”
I was in a closed and locked booth and didn’t know where it was coming from.
Then I saw a hole on the wall and in that hole was a bearded mouth.
“Gimme your cock!” the mouth said.
Im, again a little drunk, in a strange town and whos to know, right?
So I let the Hole in the Wall suck me to 2 amazingly long juicy loads.
I didn’t even watch a movie.
And that was it.
For the last 30 years I have live a standard straight life.
No secret meetings on the D/L or encounters with strange Holes in the Wall.
Didn’t even think about it in any way.
But now all that has changed.
Now I dream of my past encounters and fantasize about new ones.
I am so cock hungry sometimes I think Im going crazy.
I cant stop thinking about it and the desire gets stronger every day.
I masturbate to gay porn sometimes 3 times a day. I just cant get enough
I want to go back to that first porn shop and just let that massive Man-b**st do everything to me!
That’s where I am now. That’s my “Story”.
Trying to make sense of these changes that Im going through.
Hopefully one day I will understand them and be comfortable with who/what I am.
5年前
