My blinds are always open

Here's a little secret that has gotten me off and embarrassed me more times that I would have hoped. Sometimes the thrill of what you fear most makes things way more exciting! Like being seen or caught doing naughty things. Confusing, right? Try living with it!

So, not to sound like a total slut, if it's not to late! But, I have an issue with leaving my curtains or blinds open 24/7! Or, at least cracked! Basically, they are never fully closed ever! Ok, maybe if I'm hangover and the sun is to bright! But, 99.9% of the time they are open enough anyone looking can see in! Certain days they might have to look a little closer than others. Why? Because the idea of being seen when I may not be properly dress, or even doing not so proper things gets me sexually excited. Getting caught kind of does too! But, it comes with way more embarrassment! Trust me!

I've started playing around like this after I caught a neighbor peeking in my window when I was 14 or 15. Much more innocent than now! When I first caught him it scared me and creeped me out. I was getting in the shower and had been in my bathroom playing with my hair and bouncing around listening to music. I caught a glance of him in the reflection of the mirror. He was like 2 or 3 years younger than me. At first it scared me so bad I froze. Like, seriously! Scared stiff! I stood there looking at them with my hands hold my hair in the exact place they where when I first noticed. I have a bad habbit of doing that!

After I recognised the reflection I got so embarrassed! And, I somehow felt it would be more embarrassing to let him know he saw me! So, I put my brush down and walked back into my room after shutting the light off! A few minutes later I went back in there dressed and made sure the blind and curtain was shut for stripping to shower. It kind of creeped me out a little and I almost told on him. But, it embarrassed me enough that I didn't want anyone knowing he had seen ne nude and bouncing around like a fool. So I kept my mouth shut and tryed to pretend it didn't happen. Didn't work out so well!

I tryed to avoid him and just forget about it. But, living right next door made sure that didn't happen. I saw him just about everyday and most days more than once. I cam still remember the stupid grin on his and his friend's faces! I would get so embarrassed! But, for reasons I didn't understand then, and fully don't understand now, I could stop thinking about him seeing me naked. And, every time I saw him, or thought about it I would get sexually aroused! To the point I would finger myself imagining he and his friends were watching.

Then, I started taking things a bit further. Started playing games with it. Started out innocent enough. I would crack my curtains every now and then. Then opening them up wide, but hurring and wondering if he might have caught a quick glimps. I would force myself to avoid looking over at the window as much as I could. I was always embarrassed and didn't really want to know if he had seen me for sure. Before it ended I was leaving my bathroom amd bedroom curtains wide open. Even at night with the light on never wearing more than panties and a small top. And a lot of the times way less or nothing at all. I started going about everything as if I was in no danger of being seen ever. I even started playing with myself sexual right in front of the window at night with the lights on. Always careful to not look at the window just in case. It made no sense! But, I figured I would be embarrassed if I didn't know. Though, certain days he was almost like a grinning ******r and wouldn't leave me alone. Thinking back, I wonder if those were the days he might have caught me the night before. But, I never knew for sure if he did, until he got busted showing his friends photos and videos of me at school. His dad caught me walking home one day to warn me. Said it looked like he had been doing it for a few weeks or more. That he started to tell my parents, but the videos had some very sexual and embarrassing stuff. I can only hope his dad deleted them when he took the phone. I do know that the dad and son had the same stupid grin. Between them two and the k**s friends, I couldn't walk out of the house without feeling like I was being undressed by someone's eyes!

It didn't stopped there! As I'm sure you could tell by the photo. A few months later I started leaving my curtains and blinds cracked again. I would do it once or twice a week! Doing anything from dancing around naked to laying out on top of my blankets playing with myself. Until, my dad happened to catch me one night! It was humiliating! And, I got my ass jumped! It was months before I could even open my windows durimg the daytime without getting lectured, remimded or scolded on shutting them before dark. I just couldn't stop!

Before long I was doing some really stupid shit! Like hiding in the trees at the park half naked and watching people job by and play in the park. I would even go in the school restrooms at lunch and strip completely and.... Well, you know! I once bet a boyfriend I could run a football field and back nude without be seen! I lost! If there was a thrill of getting caught and I thought I could get away with it I did it! Most people might get a surprise if the looked in the window of the right car set out on it's own in a parking lot. Can't count how many times I set naked and played in my car after I got it! I've gone on long drives buck naked just for a cheap thrill! Been chaced by honking and screaming perverted teens and older guys more than once. Now that is humiliating! Everyone starts looking then! Mentioned it to my ex one time and I was punished by standing in the window or having to remove all the curtains and blinds while denide clothing. He loved it because it would humiliate and shamed me. But, leave more horny and wanting to jump him. I've even took cuffs and locks and chains to make things more interesting. Ever met anyone that has spend half a night nude and bound in the backseat or trunck of their car? What about house that is still being built? Ever had a cop laughing at you because he got a report of a topless girl driving down the highway? I had to lie and say I got in a fight with my boyfriend and left mad and in a hurry. The laughed his ass off and gave me a blanket to cover up with until I got home. Not the only time I had to lie my way out of cuffs for doing somethimg sexual and stupid. Basically, I have issues all because of one silly little momemt!

Even now that I have cleaned up and lost that delusional bravery, I still can't help but take silly little chances. Like, being here! There are so mamy people here that there is at least a small chance someone might recognise me one day! I keep dirty pictures on my phone just to get a cheap thrill when I leave it out around others. Or, they ask to use it! One wrong touch and they might see more of me than they want! Though, I have dialed it down some because of a couple of humiliating mess ups! Like, sending out photos to just about anyone who asked. Not anymore! Not unless I am drunk or know you pretty good! Besides pissed of boyfriends and judgmental high school girls that gave me hell! I stopped after I royal pissed of an ex and he got revenge.

I told my parents I was out with him and snuck over to my dealers house when I was 16. My boyfriend at the time showed up at my house to surprise me because I told him I was home sick. Right away my parents knew where to find me. They went to his house and found me setting on the couch in panties and bra. My ass was grounded for almost a month. No phone, internet, car..... I was lucky they didn't feed me bread and water. Anyway, when they finally let me free I had like, hundreds of messages from friends and even family telling me to stop sending them dirty photos and videos. Or, in most cases, asking for more with really nasty messages to go along with them. He had haked my facebook, Instagram and Twitter acounts and was sending out all kinds of dirty stuff and pretending to be me! If he didn't recognise them as close family he went for it. I had over 300 friends. Some were teachers and coaches. They ones that got upset, he told them it was ment for a boyfriend and it wouldn't happen again. The ones that wanted more, he sent them more! He had hundreds od photos amd god knows how many hours of video. Anything from me doing stupid little dares aroumd town. To me masterbating with different things and playing around with self-bondage. The worst were the few he had with me telling him dreams I had or fantasies. On top of all that, he pretended to be me and made up all kinds of nasty shit! Like, I fuck our family dog! Or even worse, the old nasty janitor at school. All sorts of fucked up shit! I couldn't even read through them all! Not sure I want to know what he did to get my Instagram and Twitter accounts blocked. Facebook was still up and going. Not sure how! It had over 100 messages on it! I wasn't even halfway through when I had to stop. One of my old coaches....Well, let's just say I never would have thought! There was a couple of surprises! Like and uncle and more than one off my friends dads. Even a guy that worked with my dad! Not to mention a lot of people I didn't even know! It was crazy! How my parents never found out and I didn't get arrested, I don't know! One of the k**s was only 12! He was a friends little brother! I deleted my Facebook and spent the next few weeks hiding as much as possible. Had to block hundreds of numbers on my phone. I was definitely the talk of the town! On top of all that! A year later, when I went to set up another Facebook, I did something very wrong. I only had about 50 friends because I was avoiding anyone I wasn't close to. But, I some how sinked the photos in my phone to it! I had my sister call me! I don't know how long they were up! But, I had like 10 messages and 5 or 6 phone calls before I got them off! Shut that ome down and haven't been back on any media site until this one. Well, except for a short while when my last ex made me start one so he could use it against me when he needed to. Should have never told him that story. Probably should tell you! Sad part is, as humiliating as all that was! And, as scared as I was it would happen again! Every time he threatened it I got totally fucking wet! Omce we split I deleted it afraid of him doing them same as my other ex. Even though I didn't deserve it and sure he wouldn't. I'm that scared! Why I'm posting thimgs like this here after all that, I don't know! Every time I add anything my heart starts pounding amd hands start tumbling! Omce it's done I'm usually looking at it and playing with myself while hoping no one sees, shares or copie it! At the same time, bet wet knowing they might and I can't stop them from getting out. Even the little peeks I gave you scare the piss out of me and keeps me wet and wondering. I want to run and give you all permission to take them and spread them around! So, I'm leaving it up you fate! Or, you all pretty much! You may not get much more than a peek here and there! We'll see! Don't think I will be doing the video that! Those have bit me in the ass a lot! Hard to explain your way out of that!

Moving on! As you can see I still play around with gettimg caught, even though I shouldn't. Like here, even now that I should know better! I still keep all my curtains and blinds open at least halfway. The front of the house is the scariest and most exiting. They have started building a neighborhood across the street. The side amd back aren't to bad. The old ranch is huge and grown up some. From this side the guys house I rent from can be see through the trees. But, with everything grown up like it has it is very hard to see and not to much of a threat. Which is good because my bedroom is on that side. As exciting as it is to sprint past the front windows naked and sometimes bound at night when I light up, it is going to bite me in the ass one day I'm sure! I can't help it! It's an addiction! On the plus side! I got the humiliating opportunity to find out I am legally allowed naked in my backyard and in my home as long as I'm not "intentionally" trying to expose myself to others. And technically, I'm kind of and, and kind of not! So, lets just keep the kind of am part our secret!

If you think all that makes me crazy, wait! Here's one I probably sould forget about. I have bound myself and been bound in public places. My ex would bind me and take all my clothes and leave me in a stall in the men's room when I would get on his nerves. He called it, free babysitting! I've done it myself along with other places like to park, cemetery and even at work. But, it was always a place with very to little chance of getting caught. The men's room is by far the scariest! But, the stall door was always locked. Anyway! Before I tell all my dirty secrets! I have one that I have been obsessed with for a while! Being bound and exposed in a very public place! Like, in the middle of town or a mall or something. A place where a naked girl doesn't belong. Like a like post in a busy intersection in my home town. Or, my old high school just before classes let out! But, not just bound! Bound in a way I can't easily be set free. Like, some type of almost unbreakable chains. Mayne a fake bomb to keep even the police from free or covering me up easily. And I do mean fake! I don't want to go boom! You get the idea! Forced to be exposed to the public for ours. People I know! Strangers! Even make the news!

Even worse! I've had fantasies about beimg boumd nude and helpless in place where I might be kept and sexually tormented for days, or weeks on end before anyone let me go. If they ever did! Like and dirty 24 hour strip club. Bound helpless in the middle of the club for everyone to tease, fuck and torture me to satisfy their perverted needs. Maybe a truckers dinner or alley behind a sex addicts meeting. Or kust nad part of town! Maybe leave me under the bridge in the city where all the bums hang out. A prison is a hot thought! All those aggressive lonely men that haven't see a womem in years. Or, mayne something a little bit safer like an biker rally or mudding event! And you thoughy setting up my own gangbang was nuts! I literally have had fantasies about being chained up and lefts for dirty ass bums to m***** and fuck!

I want this so bad and don't think there would ever be a safe way to do it! Even if I said fuck it! I don't see me ever being brave enough just to walk in and bind myself in any of those places!I don't even see me getting my clothes off before getting nervous and embarrassed and running away! Even that issue has come into my head! How to do it without being able to do anything to stop it. Like actually paying someone to just jump me and do it! Or, maybe even picking like 20 different people so I never no who it was! Might be screwed if it happened all 20 times. Gets me wet to think about though. Never knowing when or where I will end up! Trick to that is being able to stay out of jail. All of us! But, I'm a bit of a pussy and horrible lier! So, whoever I found would have to be sneeky! That way I honestly won't know who did it and couldn't tell even if I wanted to! That means no witnesses or evidence! If all I cam say is, that I never seen them and they made me swallow it all then drink mouthwash or something. I don't know! I'm not a career sex offender. But you know what I mean! Do with me whatever, as ling as there is no proof and I can honestly tell the police I don't know who left me chained up here! I wouldn't want anyone in trouble for my dirty perverted ass!

See what I live with! My own dreams and famtaies want to humiliate me amd get me arrested! Anyway, I totally tambled on far to long. But, before I go is there 20 people out there that want to play a game? Just teasing! Sounds like fun and I wouldn't intentionally rat anyone out! I wouldn't feel right and would probably have to confess to it being my idea to keep them from getting in to much trouble. And, I don't really want to get arrested anymore than anyone else. Though, that's a small fantasy too! Still not a good idea! But, if that don't prove to you that I'm a depraved perverted nut job that should be locked in a padded room, we might actually get along!

So, before I go I have to ask! Are there any states or countries where this wouldn't end up with prison? Being marked as a pervert or sex offender isn't the issue! My ex always threatened it as a joke! I think! But honestly, the idea feels embarrassing and degrading. But being looked at as the ultimate whore, is strangely hot! It's the fines and jail time that worry me! And that's why it is probably destin to remain just a fantasy. Besides, I already have enough that I'll never live down.