1 - Whenever Bob says, “Happy Little,” as in “I’m gonna put a Happy Little tree over here,” you take a drink. 2 - Whenever Bob says, “Your World,” as in “It’s Your World; you can put in anything you want,” you take two drinks. 3 - Whenever Bob says, “Happy Accident,” as in “Oh, I just used the wrong color here, but that’s okay. What do we always say? ‘There are no mistakes, just Happy Accidents,’” You stand up, toast everyone else in the room by saying “Here’s To Happy Accidents! ” and take three drinks. 4 - Whenever Bob says “Crazy,” as in “Should we do something Crazy? I’m gonna get Crazy… 続きを読む

can you name the most one of a kind/famous guitars on the planet?… 続きを読む

Q - if two trains are coming at each other on the same track what would you do? A - i would reach up and hit the rail change switch Q - What if the switch does not respond? A - i would run down to the manual switch and pull it Q - what if the manual switch is stuck and will not engage? A - i would run downhill and get my uncle Harvey Q - and why would you do that? A - he has never seen a train wreck… 続きを読む

Q - What does a Cat Gopher? A - $6 per plate with noodles and egg roll at the Foo King Palace.… 続きを読む

In Oregon a girl scout received her cases of cookies to sell as she has done since joining the scouts. Most scouts set up stands outside of malls, grocery stores etc. This girl scout set up her stand outside of a marijuana dispensary and sold all of her stock in two hours.… 続きを読む

I was walking down the street when I noticed a cat sitting by a door meowing to be let in. So I walked up and rang the door bell and walked away. As soon as I got back to the street I heard a man's voice say, " Martha! The Cat Just Rang The Fucking Door Bell."… 続きを読む

80% of women do not clean the bathroom mirror… 続きを読む

My first internship in radio was pulling records at WPFM in the 70's . i would sneak out at night and ride my bike to hang with John Lopez for the midnight shift and just pull records, get coffee and load bowls of hash. The one night we stepped out to get high the brick we used to prop the door open slipped and we got shut out.. We Freaked!!! Peter Frampton was playing" Do You Feel Like We Do" on the turntable inside. John told me to go to his place and wake up Dennis ( the program director) for the key It was a run to the beach house on my bike and luckily Dennis was on the porch. i told him… 続きを読む

Godzilla rebuilds Tokyo and then moonwalks back into the ocean.… 続きを読む

The doctor told my wife to relax and do it "Just like it happened " and the baby will come...Then she told him there is no back seat window to put her feet out of.… 続きを読む

Remember the old days when you would buy 16 rolls of Charmin just to roll the Dickheads house? Now its almost impossible to find that much and if you can do it it gets cleaned up in an hour by his neighbors WTF?… 続きを読む

The evil deeds done by men live on...The good deeds are mostly forgotten. Everyone remembers WW2................But no one remembers the "Candy Bomber".… 続きを読む

...Mary Anne Summers....... ...Ginger Grant.................... ...Eunice Howell… 続きを読む

It squirts normally. But if you wait a week and feed it protein shakes it squirts further.… 続きを読む

Me as a Teen -"My Parents just don't understand Rock music". Me as a Parent -"My offspring just don't understand Rock music". Me as a Grandparent -"Boo Boo loves Motorhead" Today Grandpa opens a beer and sits back while "Boo Boo" plays "Ace of Spades" on her Pink Strat through the 20 watt Marshall I bought her for her *************.… 続きを読む

When I was ************ I was caught fucking my babysitter Donna. Her mother who was so angry that she was not included. As for Donna's punishment her mother made me fuck her while Donna sat and watched.… 続きを読む

1-- dump litter box into plastic bag. 2-- place bag into empty Fed Ex/UPS/Amazon box. 3-- tape up box. 4-- place box on front porch or by front door. 5-- wait for porch pirate to remove.… 続きを読む

Who do you think would win?… 続きを読む

"Women have balls they are just tucked inside and protected" - Tina Weymouth "I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house." - Zsa Zsa Gabor "They don't like me? Well i don't fucking care" - Wendy O Williams "Music is best written when no one listens but the player" - Dana Horton When you ask me to take off my top off at my comedy show, You are confusing me with your mother at her strip club job. - Maria Bamford "I'm drinking heart break motor oil and Bombay gin Straight from the bottle, I'm twisted again......."I'll sleep when I'm dead!" - Warren Zevon\ "… 続きを読む

If you don't do it right the first time, The school teacher will make you do it over and over until you get it right (or she gets arrested ). https://xhamster.com/photos/gallery/horny-school-teachers-11432410… 続きを読む