nochoicecumslut_m

My desire is to be a completely owned faggot whore closet slut. I say desire as opposed to fantasy because while I do fantasize about this, I really want it to become a reality.
Over the years I've played around the edges of homosexuality. I've given some hand jobs, blow jobs, and been fucked in the ass. Nothing serious, nothing long term, and long pauses in between adventures. The more I played around, the more I wanted/craved the experience of being controlled. No one I met would really take control of the situation, but the brief and small occasions when it happened really excited me. It's gotten to the point where the only way I can get off is to imagine myself under the complete control of someone.
I've tried to meet someone on-line but it always either starts off with, or devolves into; "can I, will you, is it OK if, hey buddy, etc". I really don't want someone to be friends with, or drinking buddies or pals. I'd love to meet someone who is looking for someone to use and humiliate me for THEIR pleasure (and mine).
I've never been able to let myself go to be a true cum-slut/whore, because, truthfully; I've been to scared (even though it's all I can think about for the past few years). Also, it's not only the act of submission that turns me on, it's the humiliation of doing whatever I'm told without any ability to say no that really excites me.
Currently I'm back in my home state (PA). I moved back to help out with my parents after they each had to have some surgeries. So, I'm once again surrounded by family. Honestly, they're all pretty close-minded, but they're still my family. I really don't want them to know what a faggot slut I really want to be. My job keeps me on the road anywhere from 2-3 weeks a month. I'm mostly in the mid-west and Northeast, but can travel anywhere from coast to coast.

I guess what I’m looking for is someone within an hour or so of WB/Scranton, PA to get some photos/film of me being the fag I am, along with my personal info. Once there, using that info to completely take over my life and turning me out as a play thing for their amusement: being used by my new owner, his friends and strangers he may choose when I’m near home; when on the road for work, having anyone show up at my hotel to use me as they wish, either live on cam or not; making me a truck stop/ABS slut; or to humiliate me in any other variety of ways I'm sure you can think of.

But, most importantly of all, not letting my immediate family, friends or work know of the second life I'm leading. Unless of course, I don't do as I'm told. I know I don’t have the nerve to do this (or I would have turned myself into a slut long ago) and that is why I’m looking for someone to make me into the whore I desire to be. This may sound like fantasy or role-playing, but that's not what I want. I want to be completely used and controlled. I know this would have been easier if I came to these conclusions when I was young and good looking, but as it is; I'm mid-forties, balding and somewhat overweight.

I don’t know what scares me more; never finding anyone looking for the same type of arrangement or finally finding someone who does.

Skype: same as here
kik: ru_myMaster
bdsmlr:  https://nochoicecumslut_m.bdsmlr.com/

Interests: humiliation, R/T use, group, cross-dressing, blackmail

Limits: scat, blood, extreme pain, illegal, family, work (interference)