Robadob

Oh, hello there, I didn't see you come in. Well make yourself at home or as the cool cats say "mi casa su casa" . Yeah that's how cool people talk, I think... No wait, I know because I'm a very cool fella. That's what my mom says at least, so it must be true.

I'm Rob by the way, but you can call me "Jake" if you want. Not because that's my name or anything, but just so you know that you can and it would be fine. It's not like I would be mad if you called me "Garry" for some reason. So yeah what I'm trying to say is that call me whatever you like and I'll be nice.
Heck I'm just glad you're here to be honest, so no need to be shy. If there's anything I can do to make your stay more pleasant, just let me know and I'll see what I can do.