Secret-Sub

Something in me is a natural cuckold. I get off on being humiliated and feeling degraded. No one who knows me knows about this, but I wasn't born this way.

I've always been a people pleaser. I was always athletic and smart and as a result, people tended to gravitate towards me. I was never really good with words though unless I was around my closest of friends. I remember in Highschool the same guys that gravitated towards me would poke fun of my "lack of game" at lunch or in the locker room as they told tales of their exploits. I acted like it was no big deal, but I felt really insecure about this until my sophomore year when I somehow ended up with the hottest girl in school chasing after me.

She was kind of known as a girl with a bit of history, but she was an 11 out of 10 and I thought we were in love so it didn't matter to me at the time. She took my virginity and I remember many nights going at it for hours on end throughout Highschool.

I usually went away for the summers and when I would get back in town there would always be rumors that she had been with this guy or that guy. I typically just blew them off because she always would vehemently deny any accusation to the point that I felt like the bad guy. One time I confronted her about an episode that several people had told me about. Apparently they had all seen her drunk flirting with some guy and he had been feeling her up before they left together. When I asked her about it, she started crying and saying she didn't remember it and that she thought she had been roofied. All she remembered was saying no. Needless to say, I got in my first fight defending her "honor". I ended up kicking the guy's ass, but somehow I didn't feel like I had won that day. The thought of her with him kept running through my mind. She said she didn't remember, but my imagination filled in the blanks.

As we went off to college we became distant. We went to the same university, but where I was studious and involved in sports she only partied. She would invite me over for sex to her apartment and then not even show up until hours later when she was wasted. I started trying to control her by threatening to brake up with her even though I was in love with her and it completely backfired. She broke up with me. She said the brake would be good for us. Good for her more like it. She ended up banging almost the entire rugby team during our week long brake. After constantly texting and stalking her, she invited me over. There were clothes from some other guy everywhere. Especially in the hallway like they couldn't even wait to get into bed to take it off. I was shocked. She didn't even seem phased by the look on my face. She just kind of shrugged and smiled and winked at me. I remember being so jealous and so horny I took her right there in that hallway. She was only able to pull her pants down to her knees as I pushed her down on her stomach on the floor. I got on top and plunged into her and as I pounded her, my face was right next to some other guy's boxers. I could smell his musky scent and it only turned me on more. I went at her like a crazed jack hammer and came in about 30 seconds. I was so embarrassed that I had only lasted 30 seconds. I had previously taken great pride in my stamina. I remember her laughing at how fast I had cum and her teasing me on being even hornier when I was jealous. The embarrassment, her teasing me, the other guys clothes, her amazingly sexy body. I just picked her and carried her into her room and fucked her for the rest of the night. It was some of the most amazing sex I have ever had in my life. I had an energizer bunny cell in me that night. No matter how many times I got off, I just kept going.

We ended up getting back together, but things had only changed in her favor. She still treated me like shit and took me for granted. Occasionally she would throw me a bone and have sex with me and all would be forgiven. I had practically given up pretending she was faithful to me and she knew it and did not care.

A black football player ended up moving in next door to her and they ended up becoming good friends. She smoked and I didn't, so when she would go out to smoke, he would be there smoking too and they would just hang out for hours while I was in her apartment waiting. She even ended up inviting him in sometimes to watch movies with us. I remember thinking it was so awkward. My girlfriend and I would be on the couch and he would be in another chair just sitting there like he owned the place.

I brought up the fact that I didn't like her inviting him in one time after he had left and she threw a fit over me trying to control her and who her friends were. She kicked me out of her apartment that night and we didn't talk again for a few more days. Once again I felt like the total jerk for trying to control her and I went crawling back to her apologizing. After that, he was always over. Always. One night I was exhausted and had exams the next morning so I told her I was just going to go to sleep. I had really wanted to wait until her "guest" had left so we could have sex, but I eventually gave in and just went to her bedroom to fall asleep.

I ended up waking up to the sounds of skin slapping up against skin and some deep breathing. Her room was close to the living room and the door was slightly open. I tried to ignore it at first by just telling myself I was imagining it but it kept getting louder and louder to the point she was moaning. I knew what was going on. His BBC was penetrating my girlfriend and she was getting off on it with me in the next room. My cock grew hard and I ended up pulling on it without even realizing it. As they continued the moans grew louder until the point I knew she was coming. I pictured her in my mind taking the huge cock and orgasming all over it and I shot my own load in her bed. The noise didn't stop though. I could rarely get my girlfriend off even once during sex unless it was with my mouth, but this guy was attempting to do it multiple times. The eroticism quickly wore off for me after I came. I got up and washed off in her bathroom that was connected to her room and I got back into bed as they were still going at it. I thought about walking in there and shouting at them that I had caught them, or even attacking the guy that was going at it with my girlfriend, but it didn't seem right. I knew she would be angry with me and that it would be the end between us once again. I also knew there was a good chance this big black football player could kick my ass. Instead I just lay in her bed seething in anger as I heard him climaxing. I just hoped he pulled out or was wearing a condom. I couldn't stand the thought of him cumming in her. I never got to. I had to pull out or wear a condom. She took birth control but often forgot a day here and there.

I pretended to be asleep as I heard him leave and her bedroom door eventually open up as she crawled into bed with me. She was still breathing a little harder than normal and she was sweaty. I pretended to kind of wake up and notice her crawling in bed and I saw she was wearing the sexiest underwear I had ever seen her in. They were black and tightly fitted across her tanned double D breasts. She just smiled at me and grabbed my rock hard cock. She asked, "are you horny?" I breathed in her scent and licked at the sweat on her neck as I breathed out yes. She said, "alright it's your turn now." My body stiffened at that. She knew I had heard. She knew I had heard and had done nothing about it. I felt the shame and the anger as my face reddened. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I felt her hand pushing my head down. And instead of resisting it I just mindlessly went where it pushed me. I was heading down her body and between her tan legs. I ran my tongue all down her body as she did this until I noticed the cum slightly leaking out of her vagina. I jerked away at first, but she held me firm and pressed me down. I felt so worthless. I wanted to cry. But I also was so turned on as I tentatively licked at her used pussy. I expected it to be salty and gross, but it was actually sort of tasteless. Instead of focusing on her clit to get her off, I started sucking at her hole. I was actually slurping up gobs of his cum as she pushed it out into my greedy mouth. At this point I was furiously pumping away at my own cock and reaching my own climax as I got her off with my mouth.

When it was over she just looked down at my own mess with a knowing, sleepy look on her face. As I crawled up to have sex with her she just rolled away and said she was sleepy. After all of it happened it just sort of sank into my as I lay there wide awake on her bed replaying the events in my mind. I had finally seen my sick fetish nightmare play out beyond a shadow of a doubt. My girlfriend of about 4 years had cheated on me. All I had done in response was eat out her used pussy. I was so revolted with what I had just done. I went to the bathroom and I remember puking my guts out. Rinsing my mouth out with mouthwash and then leaving for my own house.

We ended up braking up after that. I was just too disgusted with her. Enough was enough. We had a few drunken hook ups after that, but I was seriously just disgusted with her. I ended up meeting a homely little bookworm like myself a couple years afterwards my senior year of college that I fell in love with. I truly feel like she is my soulmate. We connect on so many levels and she treats me like a king as I treat her like my queen. I never want that to change. I want her to be the mother of my children and I want to grow old together. She respects me and I respect her.

It's been a long time since the events of my ex and it seems sort of like a dream now, I don't wish for that reality to once again enter my life, but I find myself getting off when I masturbate thinking about that kind of stuff. I have even since discovered Femdom, cuckold and CEI porn and I am a complete addict. I rarely actually eat my own cum, but I love the fantasy. It was some of the worst times in my life, but it still seems so erotic to me.