You're probably thinking one of these thoughts right now: "Oh come on, this is some sort of attention thing..." "He's signing off and he'll be back in a few months..." "This guy isn't serious..." How wrong you are. After nearly seven years of being a member of xHamster in good stead, I officially hang up my cock, my balls, my videos, my writings, my avatar, everything associated with this place. It's time. Three years ago, I met my best friend, soul mate, and life partner away from this place. We fell in love, got married, bought a home, and began our lives together. She has be… 続きを読む

My life is changing again. We are adopting a baby boy that will arrive on Wednesday May 20th. And as one chapter begins, the other must end. This post will be my last - I'm going to be working on it in the remaining days I have left here. Every day I will add something new here. ENTRY 1: When I first clicked on xHamster.com 6 1/2 years ago, it had exactly 27 pages of content. It's now approaching 22,500 pages. There were no moderators, no live cams, no premium services of any kind. It was people uploading their favorite porn and finding new people who loved porn.… 続きを読む

Lots of things have happened since my last blog post (http://xhamster.com/user/TMandrake/posts/237003.html). We got a nursery ready, attended birthing classes, purchased the collected works of Dr. Suess, even had a baby shower in which our friends and family got about 80% of everything we registered for. We had clothes picked out for both boy or girl (we didn't find out about the sex of the c***d before hand - our parents didn't, why should we?). We had a support system in place for any eventuality. I had mixed feelings. I was ready to become a stay-at-home dad. I practiced changing… 続きを読む

Last December, I got a very good, last minute, you-can't-pass-this-opportunity-up rate for a five day Christmas cruise of Alaska. I've never been on a cruise before and thought it would be relaxing to see a part of America free of wall-to-wall billboards, Starbucks, cell phone service, and all other reminders of every day civilian life. I packed my winter gear and several borrowed library books and flew to Seattle, Washington where the cruise would disembark. I looked forward to several days travel with nothing to do but read, relax, and possibly meet some single women who could hold down… 続きを読む

Anywhere you go on the Internet, there's a mysterious place where two people and ONLY two people can have a conversation privately. This forbidden zone where many a friendship have blossomed into relationships, where relationships break friendships, and where ships sometime pass in the night are called... PRIVATE MESSAGES = cue flash of lightning/clap of thunder/ominous music = Many of these messages have never been before seen by human eyes - most prefer they stay hidden out of fear of reprisal, discovery, and humiliation. However, the truth must be told - it can no longer be withhe… 続きを読む

Moving to junior high school is never an easy time. My class buddies and I were together since kindergarten - we knew where everyone lived, we all had loathed our 4th grade teacher to death, and we were beginning to discover the opposite sex. Puberty and *********ce run amok when you hit 12 or 13. Then they ship you onto junior high where you meet an entirely new crop of k**s going through the same anxieties and growing pains that you were experiencing. For me, it was the first time I discovered the wonderment of African-American girls. Watching them walk from the buses to their clas… 続きを読む

It had been a long two months. I was retraining factory workers in a small industrial town in Missouri who resented the fact I was trying to help them increase productivity. The guys who had been on the line for 20 to 30 years plus were so resistant that for the first time in my professional career, I had missed my goals (and lost out on several thousand dollars in bonuses from my job). I needed a break. I drove into St. Louis on a Saturday morning and got a hotel room at the airport Holiday Inn. I had the phone numbers of several e*****s and working girls and began to make calls. Ma… 続きを読む

About a month ago, I boarded a Mexicana Air flight from Chicago non-stop to Cancun with the remains of my mother in storage next to a tourist's luggage. I was bound by her wishes to find the grave of the grandfather I never met in a place I visited only once in my lifetime. My mother had put me through many difficult times in my life - this was the supreme test. It took me several days to find the spot we think was where my grandfather was buried. Seems a cemetery in that part of Mexico isn't actually sacred ground. Especially when your cattle need the land to graze and shit o… 続きを読む

My grandparents were deathly afraid. Their first pregnancy after their wedding resulted in a miscarriage, their second was even more heartbreaking when the baby, a boy, had died in the womb. They were pregnant for the third time and many days were spent praying to the Virgin Mary in their church in Temozon, Mexico. After his daily morning prayers, my grandfather would spend each day from sunrise to sunset toiling in the fields as a farmer. My grandmother was attended to by nuns, distant cousins and relatives, and friends as the hours counted down to the birth of their c***d. On July 23,… 続きを読む

When I joined this site close to two years ago, I signed on with the sole purpose of meeting some women. Not for cam, cybering, phone sex, D/s, or any other sexual purpose - I just wanted a simple conversation that would hold my interest. Anything beyond that is bonus. I've added over 800 women to my list. Different regions, nationalities, sexual tastes, and ages. No matter what time of day it is, there's usually 50 or 60 of my friends online so there's never a chance of missing a chance to talk to new people. Mission accomplished, right? Hardly. There have been… 続きを読む

Several months ago, I noticed that I had several "retired" friends among the 750+ friends in my profile. xHamster, to their credit, added a "Defriend Retired Users" button in their Users section. (Click on "Edit Profile", find and click on "My Friends" in the left hand column under "Users", and scroll to the bottom of your friend list. You'll find the button of which I speak along with "Defriend User" - keep reading) However, I took this one step further. I clicked on each and every one of the remaining friends on my profile. To my amazement, I discovered approximately 100+ frien… 続きを読む

I signed into my profile this evening and found a private message waiting for me - always a treat since it's from someone I've met here before. Once in a while, it's even flirty! I clicked on the message and found it to be from [NAME WITHHELD]. I had found her profile from one of her videos she had posted. I looked at her other vids, then her personal photos (tantalizing), and decided "I'll send her an invite". Her message read: "Thanks for looking at me - please see profile, no more males." I've sent out invites to hundreds, if not thou… 続きを読む